New Beginnings
by jfreakinf
Summary: 16yr old Seth just moved into a new city. Starting a life and leaving his old behind. Dealing with his own inner struggles to being secretly gay. He will have to deal with growing, life, and romance. This story will be in Seth's POV. SLASH
1. Chapter 1

Moving to a new city is already hard enough, but going to a new school may be even harder for a teenager my age. My name is Seth. I'm just your average 16 years old boy; originally from Los Angeles, CA. My dad got a promotion from his job relocating us to this god forsaken small town called Forks. My life back in LA was all I could ever ask for. Why my dad took this job I would never know. I hated the thought of leaving the city I've grown up in to move here.

"Let's think of this as a new adventure in our families lives baby", my mom trying to cheer me up while unpacking the boxes in our new home. "I know mom, it was just hard to leave all my friends...my life back in LA. I know dad took this opportunity to provide for us so we can all have a better life. Thinking about having to start all over is just a scary feeling I guess..."

"Stop whining and just get over it!" Yelled my sister Leah from the other room. "You're not the only one who had to leave their old life and come here." She was always the aggressive type.

"Can we not argue and stick to unpacking!" my mom trying to calm both of us down. "Seth baby, why don't you start on your room. You have a busy day tomorrow."

Ugh. I hate when she starts being all parental. I walked to my new room and got started on the boxes. Tomorrow, I start my first day of school. Just that thought makes me nervous.

Sorting the items in the boxes my eyes fell upon a picture. My heart became heavy and my eyes started to water. It was a picture of my ex boyfriend Jeff and I. We have been together for almost a year until it just ended. He ended it so abruptly. Suddenly he just stopped talking to me. Ignoring my existence. I found out the reason a few months later. My best friend at the time confessed to me that he and Jeff were secretly dating and that's what cause Jeff to stop talking to me. To say that I was hurt was putting it lightly.

"I need to get over this!" Why I have this picture still I don't know. It was a secret heartbreak I had to deal with on my own. That's right, I'm your typical closeted homo waiting for my chance to skip out the closet. The problem is that I'm just not ready to tell my family yet. That was something that I would have to deal with another time.

When I woke up the next morning I did everything I can to just take my time. Leah, the sister that she is kept hounding me to hurry up. Telling me we were going to be late at our first day at Forks High. Just the name of it didn't sound appealing to hurry my turtle mood up.

Finally arriving at my new school I took time to look at my new surroundings. It didn't look like a big school. I guess it won't take me long to get use to the campus. Leah and I walked towards the office, grabbed our new schedules with map the of school and we were on our separate ways.

Walking into my first class I took the first available seat towards the back and sat down. Since it's the first day of school I didn't think there would be assigned seating or at least not yet. One by one I watched students coming into the classroom and took a seat. It seems like most of them already knew each. I felt eyes looking my way. Great, they're starting to look at my like a rare creature that rose from the lake or something like that. Once, the class got started I was trying to pay attention to the teacher when I felt someone tap my shoulder.

"You're new here aren't you?" asked this guy sitting next to me. "Yea, do I look that obvious?" giving him a small smile. "It's a small school. Most of us grew up together. So yea, seeing someone new here isn't really an ordinary thing that happens around here. The name's Embry. Welcome to Forks." He seemed like a really nice guy. Someone you can get comfortable around and seems like good company is what I get from him. "Seth" replying back.

"So Seth, where are you from?" Embry inquiring.

"Los Angeles." I replied back. "Sweet! I haven't met anyone from LA before. So how's it like around there? Weather's probably better there too" Embry asked with excitement.

"It's great actually. I miss it alot, but my family had to move here for work." I said. Embry and I continued talking getting to know each other and he invited to have lunch with him and his friends. Who am I to deny friends since it was my first day here. I accepted his offer and he told me where to meet up in the field.

It only took half the day to actual get to know this place. I met up with Embry at lunch and I met his other friends Quil and Paul. Quil gave me the same feeling as I did with Embry. While in the other hand, Paul just had this intimidating demeanor about him, but quickly got comfortable with him as well.

Halfway during lunch another guy joined our group. He was tall and built. He looked like he may have been on the football team. He had tan skin and his smile. Oh his smile. I had to quickly turn away so he wouldn't catch me drooling.

"Hey Seth, this is Jake." Embry introducing us. So his name was Jake huh? I said hello and we all got to chatting. Turns out we all lived within a few blocks from each other. They all invited me to hang out with them after school.

I couldn't keep stealing quick glances at Jacob. This was going to be hard. My first day at a new school and I'm already crushing on some guy. "Snap out of it" I kept thinking to myself. This day is just full of surprises.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N thank a lot for the review Wolfpacfaan! I appreciate it. Anyways..here's the second chapter to my story

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Before the lunch bell rang I said my goodbyes and I gathered my stuff and started heading to my next class. Collecting my thoughts on the events that happened. It's still my first day here and it seems like I'm beginning to make new friends. I found out that Embry and Quil are both Sophomores like me while Jake and Paul were Seniors. They've known each other their whole lives. They acted more like a pack of brothers really. Making me feel like the odd man out at times. Everyone seems really nice, but I just met them. I don't really know them and they don't know me. Why do I have to complicate things?

I was so lost in thought that I accidently bumped into someone causing them to drop their books. "I'm so sorry!" I quickly said.

He gave me a smile. Wow. He was really attractive. I helped pick up his books on the ground when I noticed he kept staring at me. "I should have been watching where I was walking." I said scratching the back of my head beginning to get nervous.

"Don't sweat it man. You're new here aren't you?" he asked.

"Y...y..yea." I replied back nervously. OMG. Can I not start stuttering.

"My names James." Giving me his hand to shake. "I know you're new around here, why don't you let me show you around sometime and grab some coffee maybe?" He gave me a flirtatious wink.

I was so lost in his deep blue eyes that I didn't realise I was still holding his hands. I pulled back nervously "Ss...Sorry. Um, maybe. I have to..to go to class. You know first day here don't want to be late." I walked passed by James trying to not embarrass myself anymore.

"It's cool. I like my guys playing hard to get." James saying as I turned the corner.

Playing hard to get? Who the hell does he think he is? Maybe if I didn't act like a nervous fangirl things would have played out differently.

"Hey squirt!" Leah now walking besides me. Looks like she made a friend as well. "This is Rosalie." I gave a quick wave. "Can you tell mom and dad that I'm coming home a little late today? I'm going to hang out with Rosalie and her sister Alice after school today."

"I'll see. I don't know if I'm going straight home just yet. Some guys I met today asked to hang out as well." I said.

Leah giving me her signature eyebrow lift, "You know, I'm glad you're trying to meet new people. I know we promised our friends back in LA that we would always contact them, but it's just not the same you know. They're not here. Anyways, I know you have trouble trusting new people, but give them a chance ok? So, are you going to tell me who you're new friends are?"

I quickly told her about Embry and his friends. Rosalie confirmed my thoughts about them saying that they were good people. She said her brothers Edward and Jasper hangs out with them at times.

"Hey I noticed you were talking to James earlier. Try to stay away from him. He plays friendly at times, but really he's just a walking brothel to both guys and girls." Rosalie says concernly.

"Oh you don't have to worry about that, my brother isn't gay." Leah quickly replied to her.

Rosalie gave me a surprised look. "I'm sorry for just assuming that."

"It's ok." I said back. Worried. Was I that transparent she could see right through me. I left my sister and Rosalie by their lockers and continued my way towards my next class.

It started to become a routine today, come into class and sit towards the end. Watching as every student that comes in giving me their curious looks. It really was a small school because I already had 2 classes with Embry and I had a class with Quil before lunch.

"Surprised to see you here." someone says next to me giving me goosebumps. I turned and I saw it was Jacob as he took the seat right night to me. He smelled so good. Ugh. I really need to stop. I don't even think that he's gay so I need to just stop before I start catching feelings.

"I'm impressed. Senior level math and you're just a sophomore. You're smart." he said. "I hope you get to hang out with us after school today. I know you maybe a little reluctant cause you just met us, but I promise we're not vampires trying to go after fresh blood." We both started laughing.

I don't know why, but Jake just has this thing about him that makes you just feel so comfortable talking to him. Just making me feel even more drawn to him.

"I'm considering it." I quickly told him.

"Good, cause you seem like good people. I like good people and I have a good feeling that I'm going to like you." Jacob giving me another one of his mesmerizing smiles that if anyone sees it, they will fall into his spell.

Going to like me? I thought to myself. What does he mean by that? Stop overthinking things...On a side note, Math is already becoming my favorite class.

Math class ended so prematurely. I wasn't ready to leave Jacob just yet.

The rest of the day went by faster than I thought it would be. Next thing I know I was outside of school waiting with Embry for the rest of the gang. I took my phone out to text my mom that Leah and I were going to arrive home late. All of a sudden this truck pulls over next to us and I quickly recognize that it was Jacob driving the truck. Since all of us didn't fit in the truck, Embry, Quil, and I hopped in the back.

They really knew how to make someone feel comfortable and I started opening up a little more. We all hung out at Jacobs house (which surprisingly was only around the corner from where I lived). Rosalie's brothers Edward and Jasper joined us shortly after we arrived. Edward was a senior and Jasper was in his Junior year. Edward I can say was extremely handsome and he had this mysteriousness about him. I've noticed that he was adored by all. Too bad he's been dating this girl Bella. Jasper was more outgoing than Edward. More of a joker. During our meeting I find out that he is too gay. So different and so opposite from me. He seemed very free and always wore a smile around his face. One day I hope I can become good friends with him.

"You're so quiet. Loosen up man,or do you need a good tickle for that to happen." Jacob giving me a quick nudge on the shoulder smiling. Oh that smile.

"You guys all have history with each other. I just don't know how to jump into a conversation when you guys start reminiscing about the past." I replied back looking down.

"Don't worry about that. As what I said. You're good people. We'll make new history together." Jacob reassuring me everything was ok. I couldn't help, but noticed how he licked his lips after he spoke. I turned my face around feeling my face getting hotter.

"So Seth, I hope you're not gonna go all Hollywood on us and start acting like a diva." Embry teasing across the room.

"No we don't need that, there's only room for one queen diva and that's me." Jasper jokingly spoke out.

It was really fun hanging out with a bunch of guys around my age. It was starting to get dark and I had a lot of homework to do. Everyone started heading home. I was almost home when I started hearing what sounded like someone was running towards me.

"Hey Seth!" Jake yelled out. "You forgot your phone at my house." He handed me my phone. "So this is where you live, nice. Since you really don't live far we should hang out more."

"For sure" I gladly replied back. He may not be gay, but I couldn't help but he was so easy on the eyes. He turned around and started heading back towards his house when I heard my front door open.

"Seth honey, it's getting late. Dinners ready!" my mom yelling out the door.

My family and I always had this tradition that we all ate together at the dinner table. My parents always wanted to have a conversation about our days. They wanted to be kept in the loop. I told them that I made new friends. Leah also made friends with Rosalie and Alice. I didn't expect to start making friends so soon, but I'm glad it's happening.

After dinner, I retired to my room. Getting ready to start my homework my cell phone rang. It was Jasper.

"Hey buddy!" he said when I answered. "It was really nice meeting you today!"

"The feelings mutual. You guys are a good crowd to be around." I said

"So anyways, the reason why I called. I know I just met you, but there's something about you that I really like and I think I have a hunch about it, but I don't like assuming. I don't mean to pry and you don't have to answer this if you don't feel comfortable. Seth, are you gay?" Jasper inquired.

I was in shock. How did he know?

"Um..." was all I could manage to say at that moment.

"Look, as what I said if you don't want to talk about it we can just drop it. I just felt like I had to say something. I know how it feels like to be the odd man out. I can tell you that if you are, everyone in the group is very accepting. You see how I am. For all they care, you can be a contestant in RuPauls Drag race and they'll still like you." Jasper trying to lighten the subject.

I don't know why, but I felt like i could really trust him. If I was going to trust someone, I had to take a chance right?

"...I've never really talked about this with anyone. To answer your question, yes I am. I'm still trying to find myself. My family doesn't know and I don't know why I'm even telling you this, but I have a feeling that I can really trust you. I'm not ready to tell the guys either so if you don't mind not telling them I would really appreciate it." I musterd myself to say.

Jasper and I really connected. Not in a romantic kind of way, but like an older brother looking out for his younger sibling kind of way. Over the next few weeks, Jasper and I became really close and I became closer to the guys as well. After school we would all hang out at one of our houses. On the weekends we hung out as well. Sometimes even sleeping over at one anothers house. Time is passing by and I'm starting to consider this new place like home.

A few days ago I started feeling sick. My mom told me to stay home because it seemed like I was getting worse. It's been two days now I've been bed rested. It was late and I couldn't sleep. I was feeling sappy and watching The Notebook when my phone rang. It was Jacob. My heart froze. Why was he calling me so late?

"Hello?" I answered my phone a little groggy, "is everything ok?"

"Yea, yea. Everythings fine. I haven't seen you in a few days at school was just wondering how you were feeling." he was concerned.

"Still feeling sick, but yea. I could be better."

"Have you eaten yet? Did you want something to eat?" he was really concerned.

"Jake, why are you calling me so late." I asked.

"I always call my friends when they're sick. I got to make sure that they're taking care of. Anyways, what are you up to?" Jacob said.

We talked for a good six hours till we finally got off the phone. I can say that my feelings for him was steadily growing, but I had to keep it in check. Jake called me again the following night and we talked even longer than the previous. He can really keep a conversation going. We learned more about each other each minute we talked. I learned that he hasn't been in a relationship since a couple years ago. He was really bummed out about it. I guess they were in a long distance relationship. It hurt my heart hearing about his past relationship. Thinking that if it was me, I wouldn't have let him go. I did notice one thing though; he never once said "he or she" it was always "this person". Am I looking into this too much?


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks again for the reviews! I really appreciate it :) Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

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After missing 3 days of school, I woke up to the smell of my mom cooking breakfast downstairs. The smell of bacon and toast being made makes me feel almost complete. I finally started feeling better and today would be my first day back to school. Thinking about the past few nights talking to Jacob gave me butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't wait to see him. I started to head downstairs after getting ready to grab some breakfast.

"Glad to see you're feeling better", my mom says smiling and finishing up the bacon. "Breakfast is ready, make sure you eat up before heading out."

My dad was already reading his paper at the table. Coffee and toast was his usual. Leah was still getting ready for school upstairs. I can hear her running around...seems like she maybe looking for something.

"Hey dad, how's your new job?" Trying to make small talk

"It's been good Seth" my dad replied back setting the paper down. "The numbers are good and getting higher."

I looked up to him so much. My dad is the backbone for the family and always making sure his family is taken cared for. In addition to my mom, they make a well off team. Always knowing what advice to give. He was more on the conservative side, but always tried to keep an open mind when it deals with Leah and I. I still don't feel like having the talk with my family anytime soon, but I know I'm going to have to bring it up somewhere in the future.

"Seth, I'm going to the store today. I'm going to make your favorite, spaghetti tonight. So make sure you won't be too late coming home today ok hun? While I'm at it, I'll stock up some snacks. You and your friends do have an appetite" my mom said giving a little laugh while she was setting the bacon down on the table.

"You're awesome mom, thank you." I replied back to her.

After finishing up with breakfast I headed out. I arrived at school trying to locate my friends. I spotted Jacob hanging out with Paul by some benches.

As I got closer to the two I noticed Jake glancing at me real quick and all the sudden stiffen up and abruptly leaves Paul in the middle of their conversation.

"What was that about?" I asked Paul when I caught up to him.

"I don't know, he's been acting kind of moody lately." he replies back. "Maybe he's on a heavy flow this month."

I brushed off Jakes odd behavior and headed towards my first class of the day.

As usual I sat next to Embry when I got to class. He was trying to fill me on what's been going on with him. As Embry started telling me about some new girl he's been dating, I couldn't help but wonder if I did anything wrong to Jacob. Was it something I said? Did I come off too interested during out late night conversations? Or maybe I'm just thinking too much on something that may be so little. Maybe he just had somewhere urgent to go to. I don't know. All I can think of is lunch. I'll get to see him again at lunch.

"...so do you think that's a good idea?" I hear Embry asking snapping me back to reality.

"..oh what? Sorry, I was really focused on the subject." I said trying to play it off.

"Yea, because Economics is so interesting.." Embry stating sarcastically. "You're daydreaming about some hot chick aren't you? It better not be my girl."

Quickly trying to avoid the subject I just agreed and continued the conversation. Man, this is going to a long day.

I don't know if it was just me, but it seemed like someone added a few extra seconds in each minute till lunch came.

When the lunch bell finally went off, Quil and I made our way to the usual spot. One by one the guys started coming. First it was Embry to arrive, then it was Jasper and Edward. Finally, Paul and Jacob.

"Hey Jake" I tried to start a conversation. He wouldn't look at me. Maybe he didn't hear me? I tried again. "Hey Jake" Only to have him to get up and walk away. What the hell is going on here? I tried my best not to just run after him and confront him. I couldn't help it, but I was starting to think maybe I did something wrong? I was starting to get frustrated.

Lunch was finally over only to notice that I was just completely drowned with worries. I just got in the halls and almost reached my math class when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned to see James leaning on a locker staring intently at me.

"I never got your name or an answer to my question." he says as he takes a step closer to me.

There was such little space between us I can tell my face was starting to burn.

"I...I...I'm Seth and umm...about that coffee..." before I could finish my sentence I heard a voice behind me say,

"He's not interested." I turned around only to find Jacob standing behind me looking intimidatingly at James. "We're gonna be late for class." he says as he disappears into the classroom.

"At least I got one of my questions answered." James said in a flirtatious tone. "I'll see you soon...Seth". James licking his lips, turned around and walked away.

I was left in the hallway alone wondering what just happened.

As I took my seat next to Jake he says, "Why are you talking to a guy like James; don't you know he's got a reputation?"

"At least he took the time to actually talk to me today other than ignore me and walk away." I spat back. I couldn't tell if he was mad or if he looked a little hurt by my comment. Either way, I was still frustrated over the situation. "So are you finally talking to me?" I asked.

Jake turned towards me looking right into my eyes saying in a more softer tone, "I am talking to you."

I couldn't help it. I gave him a smile. My frustrations just melted away.

The rest of the time in class went by like nothing happened at all today. We talked and joked. I felt comfortable again. The second half of the school day went by smoother than the first half. It still felt like a long day though. I felt so drained. I decided to go straight home other than hang out with the guys as usual.

I just finished dinner with my family when my phone rang. It was Jasper.

"Hey what's up Jaz" I greeted as I laid down on my bed.

"So I noticed you didn't hang out with us after school today. Are you feeling ok? Are you getting sick again?" He inquired.

"I'm ok really. Thanks for asking." I replied back.

"Are you sure? You seemed kind of off today like you were lost in deep thought during lunch. Remember Seth, you can talk to me. I consider you one of my best friends you know that right?" Jasper stated.

"I don't really think it's something worth mentioning. I don't even think it's going anywhere. I just think too much." I was trying to laugh it off.

"Don't bullshit me Seth! I'm here for you. I think I know you well enough that I know when something is really bothering you. And if something is, that's what I'm here for. To be there for you." he said sounding very concerned.

Giving a deep sigh, I decided to let him in. "Ok, Ok. Fine. But this stays between you and me." He agreed and then there was deep silence for a few seconds. I kept looking at my ceiling trying to find the words to explain how I was feeling. "So you know the past couple days I've been sick and have not been coming to school. Well, the past few nights Jake has been calling me. At first he was just calling to see how I was doing. I wouldn't have looked too much into it if it wasn't for that we talked for hours. I really got to know him Jaz. It didn't just happen once, but he called me twice! I know it may sound stupid and hopeless, but I think I'm starting to crush on Jacob. I came to school today excited to see him, but I just felt like most of the day he was just ignoring me. It wasn't until he saw James talking to me that he started talking to me again. I don't know. Man, I don't even know if he's gay."

"Well...that really is something." Jasper replying back in shock. "I've known Jacob for years and I've never thought or wondered if he was gay or bi. The only relationship I've ever heard him talk about was with this person in New York. They dated for a few months until she and her family had to move out there. Actually to really think of it, he never mentioned if it was a guy or girl. Look, the way I see it, there's interest there. I wouldn't go straight out and ask the guy if he's interested in you. I know this may suck, but all you have to do is wait. Be patient; get to know him more. I know I may be setting you up for failure, but what's love without taking a risk."

"I just don't want to get hurt you know. Getting to know him more may just become a death sentence. What if I fall for him and you know...ugh!" I said feeling low.

"The way I see it is that you can't experience love without hurt. I'm not saying put all your eggs in a basket because I don't want you jumping without knowing if he'll be there to catch you. But regardless if you do fall or not, even if Jake won't be there to catch you...I'll be there." Jasper always knew how to lighten things up.

"I'm useless!" I said doubting myself.

"Seth...no matter how useless you think you are, you will ALWAYS be someone's reason to smile." Jasper quickly replying to myself pity.

"Someone huh? Doubt it." I replied back.

Jasper now sounding irritated, "Whether if it's Jake...or even someone else. There will always be someone that adores you. That someone may be in front of your face this whole time, but all this self pity isn't going to help you out. You've got to be happy with yourself before you can find happiness in someone else."

Jasper was right. I'm not getting anywhere with all this doubt. "When did you get so smart Jaz?" I said.

"Smart?! You forgot how incredibly handsome and awesome I am my friend" Jasper jokingly replied back.

We talked for a few more minutes till I heard Rose yelling at Jasper to get off the phone.

I rolled around my bed for awhile just thinking. It seems like thats all I've been doing lately. Thinking. Listening to the sound of crickets outside my window. It was peaceful.


	4. Chapter 4

Just want to say thank you everyone for the reviews and the new followers!

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Sitting here on this bench watching all these students walking by me, I come to a realization of how life just passes us by. We transpire everything so nonchalantly we sometimes forget to take our time and enjoy the moment. Listening to the birds chirping above me as the mother bird is feeding her babies. Watching the cheerleaders practicing their routines across the field. Smelling the pine trees as a gust of wind is bringing their scent to my nose and...coffee?

"Since you haven't answered my question about our coffee date, I figured I should just bring it to you." James said as he takes a seat next to me and hands me a cup.

"What are you doing here?" I asked

With a confused look that changed into a smile, "It's lunch. Where else would I be?"

"I..I..I'm sorry. This is um...just random I guess." I replied back trying to act cool. While we were talking I noticed in my peripheral vision Jacob heading towards our way.

"How is bringing coffee to a friend random?" James saying and giving a small chuckle.

What is here trying here? I noticed Jacob standing a few feet from us talking to Embry. He seemed bothered somewhat. He seems stiff and never taking his eyes off us. Maybe he's having another off day. Whatever. I turn my attention back to James. "Friend? We don't even know eachother?"

James leaned towards me and started whispering in my ear, "Well then, maybe we should change that."

I started feeling very uncomfortable. "I..I...don't know." I started stuttering again looking down.

"Hmm...seems like I'm not wanted here." James saying looking directly at Jacob. Jacob was clenching his jaw looking back at James. I swear if you freezed framed this moment and gave a 360 degree screenshot around us, it would have looked like they were about to attack each other. James gave Jacob a smile and wave. "Anywho, do you have any plans this weekend?"

"Yea, he does." Jasper all the sudden comes out of nowhere and takes a seat next to me. I felt even more uneasy being man-wiched by these two. He put one arm around my shoulders pulling me into him, "He's got plans with me. Now, if it's not too much to ask. Leave." Jasper saying sternly.

James taking a second then giving me a smirk and gets up. "I guess our time's up...for now. Don't miss me too much" he laughs as he leaves.

I turned towards Jasper just giving him a "what was that" look.

"What?! It looked like you needed saving!" Jasper said finally letting me go. "So since tomorrow is Saturday, what really are your plans?"

"I'm hanging out with my dad. He suppose to be teaching me how to drive." I replied back. Jacob walked towards us and took the empty seat next to me. He still looked bothered. I'm just going to ignore it.

"Well...um I think...I have something to do somewhere around over there.." Jasper gave me a nudge on my shoulder giving me a cue that he was about to depart. "So I'll call you later yea?" I nodded and he went on his way. I guess I couldn't just ignore Jake now.

"So what's up with you?" I asked Jacob.

"Nothing." his reply was quick and short. Both his hands were now tightening as he held the bench that we were sitting on.

I was starting to get frustrated. "Ok...how's your day for far." I tried to be somewhat casual.

"Fine." he replied back. He wouldn't look at me.

I waited for a few more seconds. Still nothing. "Well my day is good thanks for asking!" I told him sarcastically.

All I got back from him was a deep exhale.

I'm over it. I got up, "Seth..." Jake says, I just ignored him and walked away.

I arrived to my math class a little bit earlier than I usually do. I don't know what's going on with Jacob, but I haven't done anything to him that I know of to deserve what he's dishing out on me.

Jacob arrived about 5 minutes later and he took a seat at his usual spot next to me. He didn't look so bothered anymore. Luckily, we had a test today so I had an excuse to not talk to him during class. While our teacher was starting to pass out the test, Jacob sat a folded piece of paper in front of me. I grabbed and opened it. The paper had "I'm sorry" written on it. Hmph. Still pissed off, I crumpled the paper and threw it back at him. I wasn't going to easily forgive him this time.

Not feeling up to it again, I decided to go straight home after school and retreat to my room. A few minutes later I heard someone knocking my bedroom door asking whoever is to come in.

"Hey your mom let me in, what's up?" Jasper asked as he entered my room, closed the door, and then sat on my bed.

"Man, I don't know." I replied.

"Is it about Jacob again?" He asked me. I just nodded. Jasper gave a sigh, "Well, since I'm here to spread my awesomeness, and you seem to be feeling down, let's just not think about Jake right now then."

He was right once again, "Fine, let's talk about you. I've been an awful friend. I'm always talking about me. What's going on with you?" I asked him

Jasper now smiling and decided to lay down next to me, "Hmm...lets see. All my AP classes are killing me; also, I have a paper due on Monday and I haven't even started on it yet!"

"How long have you had to work on it?" I inquired

Jasper turned his body towards me and laughs. "My teacher assigned it to us a couple weeks ago."

"Jasper! You had two weeks to do it and you still haven't started yet?!" I started being concerned.

"No worries my friend. Great minds think under pressure or something like that" he said.

"If you say so." now rolling my eyes at him. "So how's the love life. Did someone finally catch your attention?"

His smile now turned to a grin. He turned his body to lay on his back now with his arms under his head using it as a pillow. "Maybe"

"OMG! Who is this lucky guy and why haven't you told me?! I told you about Jake!", I said pushing him. He just laughed and shook his head.

"This guy doesn't even notice me", he shrugs it off, "I'm keeping my distance."

I got to my knees to get a better look at him. "Then make him notice you! You off all people should know how to do that."

He turned his head so I wouldn't see his face, "It's better off this way. When the time or opportunity comes I'll let him know. He's practically with another guy already." he turns back towards me, "So, your dad's going to teach you how to drive this weekend?"

"Yea, I've been bugging him since I turned 16, but he's always pushing it back or something at work comes up." I said back to him

"I remember when my dad taught me how to drive." Jasper now laughing, "It was so scary I kid you not. I was driving down our street, but my dad had to criticize everything I was doing. Don't do this, keep your eye on the road, or don't step on the brakes so hard. Either way I learned how to drive in no time. If you want, I can teach you how to drive since I experienced how it feels to drive with a parent. It'll be a little bit easier on you."

"Would you really do that for me?" I asked him

Jasper grinning "For you I will."

I dove down and gave Jasper a hug. "You're the best!". As soon as I got back up Jasper's phone vibrated. He grabbed it and took a look at his screen.

"Looks like I have to go home. I have something to do tomorrow morning, how about we meet up in the afternoon?" Jasper says as he gets back up getting ready to leave.

"Sounds like a plan!" I told him.

I was alone again. I wonder what Jake was doing? Ugh, why am I even thinking of him? I grabbed my ipod and plugged in my head phones. Listening to music was so soothing. I closed my eyes and got more comfortable on my bed. Next thing I knew, I was asleep.

I could see the sunlights through my eyelids, but I just couldn't get my eyes to open. It's Saturday, I had a long week at school. I still didn't want to get up so I started rolling around in my bed. My phone started vibrating, but it was all the way in the other side of my room on the floor. I'm going to ignore it. It just kept vibrating and vibrating. Ugh, the noise! I couldn't take it anymore. I finally rolled off my bed and fell to the floor. Crawled towards my phone just to find out I missed a call from Jacob. Then my phone started vibrating again. Jacob was calling me again.

"Hello?" I answered my phone all groggy

"Hey did I wake you?" he asked.

He sounded like he's been awake for awhile. What time is it? I turned over to see that it was 10:30. Wow.

"Um. No, I was just getting up. What's up?" trying to finally get up on my feet

"Ok, cool. Are you going to be home today?"

"Yea, until about 1 or 2. Why?" I replied back to him. I started heading downstairs to find out that no one was home.

Jacob was silent and abruptly ended our conversation.

I'm getting really tired of that happening lately. As I sat down getting ready to pour myself a bowl of cereal, someone knocked on the front door.

"Hold on I'm coming!" I yelled out. I wonder who it could be, nobody's home.

I opened the front door only to find Jacob standing outside.

"Hey", Jacob smiled, "Can I come in?"

I just nodded and walked towards back to the kitchen; I could hear him closing the door behind us. I took a seat again at the table to continue what I was doing. Jake took the seat next to me. He didn't really say anything at first like he was trying to think of what to say.

We sat in awkward silence while I started eating my cereal.

"I'm sorry." Jacob saying to break the silence. He was looking at the wall looking like he was playing with his fingers. "I know I've been acting kind of a douche lately and I had no right to take it out on you."

"I just don't get it", I said putting my spoon down back in the bowl. "I don't think I did anything to deserve the way you've been treating me. I thought we were friends. Friends don't treat each other like that."

"I know, I haven't been a good friend. I've just been dealing with some personal stuff that I can't really talk about. If it means anything, I've been beating myself about it all week. You didn't deserve that. Not one bit and I really am sorry. Can you forgive me...please?" Jake now sticking his bottom lip at me.

"Jake, sticking your bottom lip at me isn't going to fix how you've been treating me." I told him. I got back up and grabbed my bowl to take it to the sink. Jacob stood up and leaned on the counter and crossed his arms. He gave a sigh. "I'm not going to be upset anymore because I don't want to stay mad at you. But I'm not going to just forget about it."

"Ok that's fair. Well, do you want to hang out today?" Jacob saying as he walked closer to me leaning his arms on the counter and shoving his shoulder to mine. Just his shoulder touching me gave a shock wave through my body. I was trying to calm myself down.

"Oh I can't I'm learning how to drive today."

"Learning from your parents huh? That's going to be a tough one. I remember when my dad taught me how to drive. I was practically ready to walk for the rest of my life." he chuckles.

I guess he's assuming that my parents are teaching me. There's really no need to mention Jasper.

"Oh hey, let me make it up to you. How about I teach you? I'm free for the day and I would love to spend some time with you since we haven't really been hanging out."

Oh crap...Jasper. How can I pass up an opportunity like this. I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

"Ok let me just get ready and I'll let my parents know." I told Jake and ran upstairs to change my clothes leaving Jacob in the kitchen.

When I got to my room I closed my door and grabbed my phone so I can call Jasper. 3 rings and still he didn't answer. He did say that he was busy this morning. It went to voicemail, but I just hung up.

I started changing and in the middle of putting my jeans on my phone started vibrating. It was Jasper calling me back.

"Hey buddy!" Jasper greeting me as I answered, "Are you ready for your lesson today?" I could tell he was excited.

"About that, Jacob actually came over this morning to talk to me about how he's been acting lately. One thing went to another and he offered to teach me how to drive. Isn't that cool? Getting to spend some time "alone" with Jake". There was nothing but silence on the line. "Hello...Jasper are you there? Can you hear me?"

I can hear Jasper trying to clear his throat. "Um yea, I guess that's cool. Hey, I think Edward is calling me so I'll talk to you later." Before I can say anything to him he quickly hung up.

I couldn't tell if it sounded like there was disappointment in Jaspers voice , but I'm sure he's ok. I had to hurry because I had Jake waiting for me downstairs. Just Jake and I for a day. I'm excited! I could say I feel like a giddy school girl.

I ran back downstairs to find Jacob sitting on the couch with his back towards me while playing some game on his phone. I couldn't help but admire what I see in front of me. His dark thick hair perfectly styled messy; his big broad shoulders that you can see the muscles through his dark colored v neck. Just as I was lost in a deep trance Jacob turned around to catch me staring. He just smiled. That perfect smile, were his lips part partially. Just everything perfect. Ugh, I gotta snap out of this. Jake got up and walked towards me, "You ready?"

We both got into Jacob's truck. Jake told me he was going to take me to an empty parking lot where he learned how to drive. It was somewhere outside of town where he said that there wouldn't be any interruptions or distractions. Perfect.

While sitting in the truck with Jake, I couldn't help but see how relaxed he looked. It was nice to finally be able to hang out with him without the extra mood swings. Looking through the passenger window I can see all the trees that we were passing. This long windy road ahead of us. I grabbed my phone and snatch a picture of Jacob driving.

"If you're going to be taking pictures of me like that I'm going to have to start charging you," Jake grinning as he quickly looks at me. "How have you been man?"

I leaned towards the door and adjusting myself to look towards Jake. "I've been ok I guess."

"You guess?!" Jake shoved my legs "Well it's not like I was helping out any bit huh?"

"You can say that again. Let's just get over it ok? I'm excited to finally learn how to drive" I was starting to get impatient. "How far is this place you're taking me too?"

"I guess you'll have to see. Don't worry, I won't take advantage of you too much" Jake looked towards me smiling and giving me a wink. "Besides, are you trying to get away from me that fast? We just barely got in the truck 10 minutes ago!" he put both his hands on the wheel as he continues to laugh.

"I just want to drive already." I whined

"Relax! We'll be there in no time. While we still have a way to go, tell me Seth. Are you interested in someone at school?", Jake asked me and all I can do is turn my head away. I rolled down my window trying to get some fresh air in the truck.

"I don't know" is the only answer I can come up with.

Jake nudged my again. "You don't know or you don't want to tell me."

"Both" I said honestly

"Ok, I won't push. If you won't tell me about your current crush, tell me about your ex?" boy he was curios today.

My ex? Why does he want to know about my ex? "There's really nothing to talk about. We're not together anymore. That's it. It's kind of a long story."

"Time is all we have today buddy. C'mon we've talked on the phone, but you can't talk to me in person? I've talked to you about mines. If you don't want to talk about it, then it's cool."

"As what I said there's really nothing to talk about. It ended bad. We were together for awhile and they were secretly screwing my best friend while we were dating." I was starting to get uncomfortable over the subject. I hope he just drops it.

Silence once again became present between us. He turned towards me while I was looking at him. He wasn't smiling this time. He turned his head to look at me; his eyes seemed sad almost apologetic. Jacob cleared his throat. "We're almost there."

Jacob pulled into this empty lot. He told me there use to be some sort of mall there, but I guess it didn't attract any business so it just closed. Now it just seems like a modern version of a ghost town. I looked around. No wonder it didn't attract any attention; it's in the middle of nowhere. If you didn't know it was here you'd probably just pass it along the highway.

"Ok, slide over to the drivers seat and I'll get out and hop in the passenger seat." Jake opening his door and jumped out.

I slid over to the drivers side, put my seatbelt on, and adjusted the rear view mirror. Jake got back into the truck and settled himself in. Jake explains to me about how to switch into different gears, the turn signals and any other basic thing he can think of at the moment. He told me to change to gear and lightly step on the gas. I changed the gear and stepped on the gas a little too hard giving both of us a little whiplash.

"I'm sorry!" I yelled apologetically towards him

"It's ok. Don't apologize. You're new." He said as he slid closer to me. "Just relax. There's no one here, but you and me. We can do this all day if you want to. We can even do this tomorrow if you feel the need to. You're going to learn how to drive. I promise I'll take care of you. Trust me."

I took a deep breath and pressed on the gas a little lighter this time. I was literally driving around this parking lot in a total speed of 5mph. I was glad I was here today and having Jake teach me was just cherry to my desert. We drove around for a good couple hours till I heard Jakes stomach growling. "Looks like we need to feed the beast" I patted him on his stomach laughing. His abs were rock hard!

"Yea you're right. There's a diner down the highway, you feel like grabbing a bite?" Jake asked

"I'm starved too!" I got out the truck and ran around to get back into the passenger seat. "Thank you Jake."

"No need to thank me. I'm glad I was here and we're going to do this again tomorrow ok?" He smiled at me and we drove off towards the diner.

As we pulled into the diner I couldn't help but notice how small and quaint the place is. We both entered and took a seat at a booth sitting opposite from each other.

"Hi my name is Sasha and I'll be your server today. What drinks can I start you guys off with?" our server says. I can honestly say she looks like she stepped out of a fashion magazine. She was beautiful and that's putting it lightly. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she wore and old school diner uniform. I did notice she was giving a little too much attention to Jake.

She came back with our drinks and asked us, well more Jake, what we were going to have. Her back was towards me and she placed her hand on the table leaning in. I was getting jealous. I wanted this girl to go away. It was funny though to see that she was trying to pull all of her moves out of her hat, but surprisingly Jake didn't once take his gaze off of me.

"Wow, she's trying hard Jake." I took a drink of my soda. "Are you gonna ask for her number?" I regretted asking that question.

"Nah, she's not my type." he said as he got more comfortable.

We quickly finished and headed out the diner. We almost got back to the truck when we saw James coming out a car with some guy.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here. Is the big bad wolf taking his little puppy out on a date?" James grinning. The guy that he was with didn't seem like he was amused that James came and talked to us.

"It's not a date." Jake quickly responded

James took a step closer, but Jake got in front of me so he couldn't come any closer. Jake's hands were formed into a ball as it looked like he was about to punch James in the face. "I see. Then I guess you wouldn't mind if I asked Seth out then?" he was looking amused as he talked to Jake. The guy that James was with was now upset and stormed inside the diner. "Look what you guys did, you upset my friend." he laughed "I guess I'll just have to hear him scream my name later and put him back into his place. Well Seth, if you ever get tired of chasing someone as hopeless as Jake. You know where to find me."

As James walked into the diner I grabbed Jake's shoulder and forced him to look my way. "I'm sorry about that. I don't know why he always has to be doing that."

"Let's get out of here." was all he said and we both got into his truck and drove back.

We were driving down the same road for about 5 minutes till Jake finally said something to me. "It really bothers me that he thinks he could just try to hit on you like that. You're not even gay, but he always has to put his moves on any moving creature. He did that to me a few years ago. He finally backed off when my fist met his face one day after school."

"I appreciate it Jake, but I can take care of myself." I said while looking out the window again

"I know you can, but I can't help myself but feel protective over you." Jake confessed to me. I turned and look towards him and his hands were tight on the steering wheel. "The days not done yet, did you still want to hang out or are you sick of me yet?"

"We can go hang out at my house if you're up for it? I got the new Call of Duty game that we can play." I suggested

We both agreed to go back to my house after a few more hours of me behind the wheel. We arrived back to the empty lot and continued on what we were doing. It seemed like I was really getting the hang of this driving thing when all the sudden Jacob yelled out, "Watch out!". I quickly pressed on the brakes and I looked at him questioning what was going on. Jacob started laughing hysterically. His eyes started watering and I was still trying to figure out what just happened. Jacob finally got himself together, "I was just messing with you. Gotta keep you on your toes" He started laughing some more.

"You're such an asshole!" I punched him on his arm. "I'm done!" my heart was still pounding I was still upset. "I'm never going to drive again."

Jake leaned in and tried to give me a hug, but I pushed him back. "Aw, come on! It was just a joke! Ok, I think that was enough driving excitement for the day."

Jacob took the wheel and we both made our way back to my house. Once we arrived we both ran upstairs to my room and started playing my game. We got so into it, by the time we took a break and looked at the clock it was already around 10.

"Do you mind if I stay over for the night since we're going back out driving tomorrow?" Jake asked

"Sure if you want." I was dying inside. I was trying to contain myself.

Jacob grabbed his phone and called his dad letting him know that he was going to stay at my house. When he finally got off the phone he just grabbed a pair of my basketball shorts and changed into it.

"Since I'm going to stay the night lets call it in early so we can head out first thing in the morning" Jacob suggested as he laid on my bed.

Oh well...I didn't know we were going to be sharing my bed, but I'm not complaining. I got up and changed into my pajamas and laid on the other side of my bed awkwardly. He turned off the lights and turned his back towards me. I in return turned my back towards him. It seemed like it has been almost an hour that I have been lying in this position and I couldn't go to sleep. I didn't know if Jacob was asleep already, but by the sound of his deep breathing I would assume that he was. Next thing I knew I could feel him starting to shift his body. I froze and held my breath. All the sudden I felt his weight on my back. I didn't know what to do, but just to stay still. I didn't want to wake him up. Even in this awkward position I couldn't help but admire how muscular he felt on my back. As weird as it may be, I got comfortable with him being so close to me that it felt really good and I finally fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey everyone! Thanks again for the reviews and the follows. Hope you enjoy this chapter as much I enjoyed writing it. This chapter does contain underage drinking so if you don't like that, I suggest you don't read it.

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I woke up to the sound of heavy breathing near my ear and as the grogginess of sleep left my head, I realize that there was something heavy was draped over me. I slowly looked down to see that it was Jake's arm around me in spooning position. I know this is probably because Jake was sleeping and unconsciously not knowing what he was doing, but I couldn't help but wish that Jake had did it because he wanted to. I wanted to stay in this position as long as possible.

I laid in this position for about half an hour not trying to ruin the moment and then I heard someone knocking on my bedroom door. I was trying to ignore the knocking until a few seconds later Jake had seemed to be woken up. Jake quickly rolled off my bed and fell to the floor. As I turned to see him, he got to his knees with his eyes wide open looking confused. I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction as I walked to answer the door. It was my mom telling us that breakfast was going to be ready soon and to come down. I closed the door again and looked at Jake now sitting on my bed.

"Are you ok?" I couldn't help but chuckle

Jake seemed obviously embarrassed, "Yea, I'm cool."

We both got changed and went to the kitchen to have breakfast with Leah and my mom.

"Hey Jake...Seth, can you tell me what do you think of Paul?" Leah asked after she drank a cup of OJ

"What about him?" we both replied simultaneously

Leah looked at both Jake and I. She looked like she was thinking of the right words to say. This was the first. My sister...speechless. "He asked me out and since you guys are all friends. I wanted to know if I should give him a shot."

Now I wouldn't have ever thought this would happen.

"He's a good guy. Under his tough persona, he's really just a softy." Jake chuckled. "Don't tell him I told you that."

Leah smiled and agreed. We all continued to have breakfast together just laughing and talking. I found out that my mom joined a book club with the fellow neighbors. It's nice to see that she's branching out as well.

As we finished eating Jake offered to wash the dishes and I cleaned up the table. Leah, now in the living room was calling Paul and my mom went to take a shower. As I was wiping down the counter I felt a splash of water hit the back of my head. I turned around only to see Jake holding a cup in his hand laughing and leaning on the counter trying to prevent him from falling to the ground.  
"Your hair seemed parched." Jake continued laughing

"Two can play that game" I said as I grabbed the water hose in the sink and sprayed him down as he fell to the ground.

"AH! Ok ok you win!" Jake was drenched in water as well as the kitchen floor.

"What the hell happened here?" Leah asked us as she entered the kitchen again.

I reached out my arm to help Jake get back up, but instead he pulled me down with him and rolled on top of me. "You're brother decided he wanted to clean the kitchen floor with his back"

"You boys are so immature" Leah says as she jumped on the counter to take a seat. "So I called Paul. We have a date tonight"

Jake and I both got up and I headed grabbed the mop so I can start drying off the floor. "Oh that was fast!" I heard Jake say.

"Not really, he's been asking me for a while already, but I kind of wanted to make him work for it."

"How did you guys meet anyway" I jumped into the conversation

"He's friends with my friend Melissa from Art Class. Since Rose has been preoccupied with Emmett lately I've been hanging out with her. We were walking to class when Paul asked Melissa about a paper that was due and that's basically how we met. He's been trying to ask me out ever since. Also, since I know you guys are friends with him, I wanted to do a little recon before actually agreeing to the date." Leah was all smiles. I was really happy for her. Leah jumped off the counter. "Anyways, I'll leave you guys alone and do whatever you guys were doing. I have to get ready for this date!"

Jake looked at me and we both just laughed. "This is going to be interesting. Paul and Leah. I must say, they're going to be one intimidating couple. Do you think you're going to be weirded out if she starts hanging out with us?"

"No, I love my sister. We always got into trouble growing up as kids. So I know she wouldn't really judge us with our shenanigans." I said as I finished wiping down the floor.

After Jake and I finished we headed out to the same lot we had practiced at the day before. It actually went smoother than the previous day. With a little more confidence I learned how to parallel park.

We only drove around for a few hours till we headed back home. Jake had to catch up on his homework and I had to finish my paper that was due at the end of the following week. When I got home I started going up the stairs only to hear Leah calling me to her room.

"So how do I look?" Leah spinning around showing me a 360 view

"You actually look like a girl!" I teased

Leah grabbed a pillow from her bed and threw it at me, "Shut up jerk!" Leah then turned around to face herself to the mirror trying to see if she has to retouch her hair or makeup. "I haven't gone out on a date in ages."

"You'll be fine." I said as I sat on her bed putting her pillow back into its place. "Paul's simple. Your simple. I don't see how anything could go wrong." I was trying to make her relax.

I chatted with Leah for a few more minutes till her phone went off. It was Paul telling her that he just arrived and she was on her way.

When I got to my room I dove into my bed and decided to call Jasper. I couldn't wait to tell him about the events that happened these couple of days that has past. He seemed kind of under the weather when I called so we couldn't really talk much. The rest of the night was really uneventful.

The following morning when I arrived at school I walked over to the usual spot where we all hang out. Everyone was already there. Best of all Jacob was there. He looked really good today. It was just a simple black v neck shirt with some dark blue jeans. He always knew how to make simple look great.

"Hey what's up Seth?!" Embry asked as I approached the group

"Nothing much, you?" I replied and sat down

"So are you ready to have Paul as your brother-in-law?" he chuckled and Paul hit Embry on the shoulder. As this happened I noticed Leah and another girl approach us.

"Hey guys!" Leah said as she sat down on the bench next to us. "This is my friend Melissa."

So this is Melissa. She had long brown wavy hair and I can honestly say she was cute. She had that naturally pretty look where you can tell that she didn't have to try and put on makeup. As the sun was shining on her green eyes, it just made it sparkle. When she smiled it seemed like it would just lighten up to crowd around her. Yup, she had the it factor. What I mean by that was many guys would want to be with her and a lot of girls just want to be like her. Another thing I did notice though; she was wearing almost the exact same thing that Jacob was wearing.

"OMG! We're twinsies today!" Melissa saying to Jacob. She put her hand on Jake's biceps and rubbed them down. I didn't like her already.

Jacob now blushing and laughing, "Twinsies? I think you stole my style."

"I didn't steal your style, it was just destined for us to look good together." Melissa now standing next to Jacob and put her head on his arm. Jacob was now playing along with Melissa and put his arm around her. Ugh, I can't take too much of this. I looked away. Why is it that two good looking people are just magnetically attracted to each other?

"Damn right! You two look cute together" Leah joining in teasing both Jake and Melissa.

Everyone just laughed as we all had our attention to both of them.

Could this be anymore awkward. "Don't you think Seth?" Leah nudging my shoulder. I guess I thought that too fast. I looked at both Jacob and Melissa. It seemed like she couldn't keep her eyes of him and he was just looking at me grinning.

"...Yeah" I said with a smile trying to hide my jealousy.

Right on time Jasper came and sat next to me, "What's up?"

"Nothing much, just everyone saying how much Jacob and Melissa look good together." Leah replied back.

Jasper looked at me and he could tell my discomfort. "Eh...maybe. I can picture someone else looking way better with Jacob"

"Boo!" Melissa replying back giggling. Then she turned to Jake, "I guess we weren't meant to be in Jaspers books." They both laughed after the statement.

"You guys know each other?" I asked Jasper

Jasper turned towards me and smiled, "Yea, we have history together."

Melissa walked over to us where she was now standing directly in front of Jasper and I, "Hey babe, did you remember we had a quiz today?"

Jasper laughs, "You bet...I did not!" Now both are laughing.

Jacob walks over next to Melissa and puts his arms around her again, "Babe huh? So you're cheating on me with Jasper now?"

"I'm his fag hag, you'll get used to that sweetie" Melissa saying as she pinched his cheeks. She was too damn cute for her own good.

While all this was happening I couldn't help, but think if Jacob was into her or not. I think this is more uncomfortable than when we were in the diner. My stomach is getting upset just seeing all this cutesy stuff in front of me.

"Hey Jake do you mind coming with me to help carry some stuff I need for first period?" Melissa asked Jacob

"No problem. I'll see you guys later." Jake said and they were both on their way.

"Cheer up" Jasper says leaning over to me

I took in a deep breathe, "I know I just didn't really want to experience that."

I looked over to the others and I see Leah now sitting on Paul's lap and them whispering to themselves. While Quil and Embry were checking out some girls that were passing by. I hope I don't see much more of the "Jacob and Melissa" show.

As the day was going by I would just think about Jacob and Melissa. I must admit, just thinking about if they do happen to start dating of how incredibly jealous I'd be. She was a good looking girl; he was an handsome guy. They both had welcoming and outgoing personalities. I was starting to think of the pro's and con's of if they did date. I'm so pathetic.

When the lunch bell finally rang I ran out of class cause I had to use the bathroom. When I finally reached the closest bathroom near my class I pushed the door open just to see a couple groping and making out on the wall. There was only one name that I knew that would be doing such a thing in school property. James.

They finally realized that they were no longer alone. I noticed that this was a different guy than the one from the diner. James turned back and smiled at me. "Seth, there you are! I was just warming up for you"

Feeling disgusted I just left feeling that I didn't have to use the bathroom anymore. I was lost in thought walking over to the spot when all the sudden someone grabbed my shoulder.

"Whoa there! I was calling you and you didn't hear me" I turned around. It was Jake.

"Sorry. I really didn't hear you." we were now walking together. "So you and Melissa huh?" I was trying to see if he had any interest.

"She's cute" was all he said. "Did you hear about the bonfire this Friday?"

"What bonfire?" I stopped walking and turned towards him

"I guess you didn't hear. Paul wanted to throw a bonfire this Friday. It's actually more of an excuse to hang out with your sister, but it's really just a small gathering with everyone in the group. So...you're going. I'll pick you up." It was more of a statement than a request.

"OK" was all I said back and then we were back to walking towards the group.

When we got closer I noticed that Leah and Melissa were there as well. Leah and Paul were off to the side talking to one another. They seemed like they were really into each other. Melissa ran over to Jacob and hugged him. Jacob carried her and spun her around. Oh gosh.

"Hey Jacob, Seth." She greeted us both. We all took a seat on the grass forming a little circle around each other.

"So Seth, Jacob tells me you learned how to drive this weekend! That must be exciting! I wish I could drive, but my parents won't allow me cause they're so overprotective. They feel like when I start driving, it'll be one step closer for me to move out. If only they knew that's not the case." Melissa is very friendly. It's hard NOT to like her when you start getting to know her.

"Yea, it was fun." I told her.

"I'm going to keep dragging Seth with me and make him drive so one day, he can start driving me around" Jacob said joining in. We all laughed together.

We all continued to talk then it just seemed like it was another rerun of what happened this morning. Jacob and Melissa just talking together and laughing. I felt like a 3rd wheel. The way they acted towards each other you wouldn't have thought that they just met today. Just seeing them like just made me feel sad and hurt. I shouldn't feel this way. But I couldn't hide the hurt that was forming on my face. I was beginning collect water on my eyes so I decided to just excuse myself and head somewhere else where I couldn't see this chemical reaction forming. If they were to start dating I needed to be happy for both of them, but I can't just right now.

The week just passed by so slow. With each day it seems like Jake and Melissa was getting closer. The other day some ignorant students were teasing this lesbian couple for holding hands in public. Melissa got mad and started yelling at the students; that they should be happy for people in love. She was so mad that after the confrontation you can tell that her eyes were red and that tears were starting to form. I knew that she was good friends with Jasper so I know she supports same sex relations, but seeing her this upset really tells me that she really does care. It seemed like she got embarrassed over her reaction so she just ran away and Jake ran after her. The next day both her and Jake had these inside jokes that only they would know what the joke even was about. They would just give each other looks and they would just start laughing. One afternoon when we were hanging out at Jacobs house, Jake left his phone on the table and I noticed that Melissa was calling him from his caller id. I got even more jealous. Jacob just grabbed the phone and took a step outside for what seemed to be forever, but in reality was just a few short minutes. The guys would just tease him and ask him when is he going to ask her out and all he would reply back was a shrug. What does a shrug even mean?!

Throughout the week Jasper just kept telling me to cheer up and was just there for me. He kept reminding me that we don't know what's coming at the end of the story, that it's not even close yet. I couldn't help but think that they were going to end up being together. That I just had my hopes up. It's not like I knew anything for sure, but just a small feeling.

It was finally Friday and this week was even more draining that the past. I really didn't feel like going to the bonfire, but Leah kept bugging me to go. Not only that, Jacob came over my house right after school and was just waiting for me to get ready so we could head to the beach together. Jacob was telling me that Paul was able to get a few packs of beer from his dad and that we would be drinking at the beach. I haven't drank anything alcoholic before, but just foreseeing Jacob and Melissa together would just be my motivation for such a sin. Leah lectured me before she headed out with Paul that if I were to drink that I shouldn't drink too much or make it noticeable that when we arrived back that our parents could tell we were being intoxicated underage. She also warned Jacob that he needed to keep an eye out for me too. Great, like I needed a second pair of eyes watching me today.

We finally reached the beach and it seemed like Paul and Quil got the fire starting already. It was a nice night out. The skies were clear and you could see the stars from where we were at. The smell of the beach was comforting and the feeling of the sand on my feet just added on the the comfort. I took a seat on one of the logs that was circling the fire and Jacob took a seat next to me.

"It's nice out tonight huh?" Jacob asking me while he grabbed a couple beers from the cooler and he handed me one.

I took a sip and it was disgusting. How do people drink this on a daily basis? I looked over at Jacob and it seemed like the taste didn't bother him. He smiled at me, "This isn't my first beer."

"I don't understand how people can drink this thing." I told him

"Nobody ever likes their first beer. I didn't."

Jake's phone vibrated and he took a look at his screen. "Oh Melissa and Jasper are almost here"

"Oh cool." I said as I took a bigger sip of my drink.

"So you and Jasper are like best friends now huh?" Jake trying to keep the conversation going. I don't know why he's even asking.

"Yea, he's cool. He's been a really good friend to me."

"How about me?" he asked

"What about you? I mean, you're you." I replied back giving a small laugh. I looked towards him and the way he was looking at the fire and biting his lips just intrigued me.

Jacob now giving a gentle smile, "C'mon man, don't you consider me one of your best friends? Because I consider you one of mines."

As I was about to answer him I felt a spray of water splashing on my back. Both Jake and I fell to the sand and turned around to find out it was Jasper and Melissa with water guns. The duo was laughing hysterically until Embry and Quil threw water balloons at them. After that, a water war has started. I grabbed a bucket near me and ran to the ocean and dumped a load on Jacob. He in return picked me up over his shoulder and threw both of us in the ocean. As we were walking back to the fire I noticed Leah and Paul both holding some water guns grinning at Jake and I. We started running away, but we were too late because right when we turned around Melissa and Embry sprayed some whip cream on our faces. It was a fun night. Laughter is what filled the air.

Later on that night, Leah and Paul decided to go walk around the beach on their own, Quil had to go home, while the rest of us decided to sit around the bonfire and play truth or dare. All I can think of is that this was a dangerous game.

We started off with Embry picking Jasper. Jasper just smiled and said "Dare". I wasn't surprised. Embry had dared him to take off all his clothes, run around Paul and Leah, and yell out that he was a dirty skank. While this was happening all I can think of was that I wished I had a camera on hand. Watching Jasper take off his clothes and just sprint towards Paul and Leah was just the start, but hearing Leah's screaming was priceless. Paul got upset and started chasing Jasper around the beach till he lost his footing in the sand and fell down. When Jasper came back and put his clothes back on, it was his turn to ask someone else. He in return asked Embry and he replied back Dare as well. Jasper dared him to also strip down and go skinny dipping in the ocean. Embry was a little hesitant at first, but got over his fear and just went for it. As he got in the water we can hear his little screech. I'm guessing the water got colder. We all laughed when he returned to us and he told us all to shut up. Melissa started teasing him that he screamed louder than her baby sister. Embry then asked Melissa and she returned with another Dare. Embry then dared her to make out with Jasper for at least 1 minute. She started giggling and walked over to Jasper.

"Sorry hunny we play for the same team" he started to tell her and she just took her finger to his mouth and shushed him. They both just laughed and agreed that they were going to just do it. Without hesitation, Melissa dove in and just started kissing Jasper. As they were kissing, Jasper lost balance and they both fell to the sand and continued on till the minute was over. Melissa got up and sat back down this time smiling at Jacob. Oh, no. When it was her time to ask Jake to my surprise he chose Truth. Everyone started booing him that he was no fun. All he could say was too bad. Melissa gave Jake one of their insider looks and Jacob was just shyly smiling and looking down. He looked like he was blushing. Melissa cleared her throat and asked Jacob what's the first thing that he see's in someone he likes. They were now looking at each other and Jacob couldn't stop smiling at her. Everyones attention was at both of them at the edge of our seats waiting for his answer. Breaking the silence Embry just yelled out boobs and we all just turned to him and laughed. All Jacob said was their personality and Jasper teasing him that he was such a sap. When everyone stopped teasing Jake he turned to look at me and called my name.

"Truth and Dare" he smiled

"What?! No fair! It's either or!" trying to get myself out of some trouble. Everyone was agreeing with Jacob and I could feel the peer pressure weighing on my shoulder. "Fine!"

"OK for truth, since you didn't answer my question last weekend. Do you like anyone?" he asked

I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I didn't like all this attention. My face was feeling hot.

"Yes" I said more as whisper.

"What did you say?!" Jasper leaning towards me. I hate him so much right now.

"Yes!" I finally let out. Everyone was starting to tease me trying to guess who this crush was. All I can see was Jacob looking at me grinning.

"And for dare..." I could hear the drum roll in my head "give Jasper your best lap dance."

OMG. Really?! "What?! I can't even dance" I told everyone

"No one cares just do it! Make it extra sexy!" I heard someone yelling

"There's no mood music! I can't be sexy and I'm also rhythmically challenged!" I protested

Melissa whips out her phone, "I've got you covered!" she yells at me laughing as she begins to play T-Pain "I'm in love with a stripper".

This is so awkward. While I was trying to gather the courage to complete the dare Jasper pulls out his legs and tells me that he's ready. I took a big swig of beer and decided to just get it over with. Have you ever seen Napoleon Dynamite? Yea, kind of like that. Just without the rhythm. I have to say this was actually starting to get pretty funny.

As I finished my "extra sexy" lap dance I noticed that everybody was rolling in the sand laughing. They all kept screaming for an encore and I just ignored them and just laughed along. It seemed like the fire was about to die so Jasper asked Embry to go with him and get more firewood. Melissa decided that she wanted to join too, so that left me and Jacob alone again.

Jacob got up and sat next to me, "Those were the best moves I've ever seen anybody do" he said teasing me.

I couldn't help but blush ,"You're such a bad liar", we both laughed.

Jake gave me a nudge on my shoulder smiling at me and from that moment Jake and I just caught each other in a gaze. His deep brown eyes looks so good with the fire light reflecting on them. I don't know if it was the beer or the crazy night that has been, but it seems as though the look in Jake's eyes were different. We stared at each other for what felt like forever, but in reality probably just a minute. Our gaze finally broke when we heard Leah calling out my name asking where everyone was at. I just told her they went to get more firewood. I looked back at Jake and even in the dim light it seemed like he was blushing. A few minutes later we heard Jaspers car pull up and the rowdy crew came running up with more firewood. The rest of the night we ended up telling ghost stories and spooking each other out.

We got back pretty late last night and I think I actually drank more than I thought. I woke up this morning with a pretty bad headache. I guess this is what they call a hangover. I'm glad today is Saturday because there is no way I would have made it through school. I couldn't get that moment I had with Jake out of my head. I'm more confused now than I was earlier. I can't tell if he likes me or if he likes Melissa. I'm starting to get frustrated more than ever. I don't know how much longer I can keep going with this "he loves me, he loves me not" game.


	6. Chapter 6

Again, I want to thank all of the reviews and follows. I cannot explain how much that means to me. You guys keep me going! :) Sorry this has been a long time since my last update, but life has just been a little hectic. I hope you guys really enjoy this chapter and do believe me that we are nowhere near the end.

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Dealing with this headache really didn't make it easy for me to get out of bed. I rolled around my bed for a good hour before I forced myself to finally get up. Before heading downstairs, I decided to take a shower to get this smell of beach and firewood off me. As I got to the bathroom and turned on the shower, I walked over to the medicine cabinet before jumping in to grab some pain meds to help deal with this headache.

As I was showering, I kept picturing that moment where Jake and I were lost in each others eyes. Did that really happen or was that the alcohol playing games with my eyes. It seemed so real; it couldn't be just my imagination. The way he looked at me with such compassion. I couldn't stop smiling. But then again, there's Melissa. Where does she fit into this? They seem to be getting closer each day and I really don't know how to feel. One side of me is happy and the other side is bitter. She seems like a nice girl. Why should she be wrong for him? Here I am getting jealous and mad at her. She didn't even do anything to me on purpose. Oh gosh, I'm hopeless.

I stayed in the shower some more till all the hot water was off. I quickly dried myself and I went back to my room. Not having any plans today I decided to call Jasper and see what he was up to. We made plans to meet up and have lunch at this new pizza place that just opened up down the street. Finally getting dressed, I went downstairs and chatted with my parents for awhile till Jasper called to let me know that he was outside waiting.

"Hey what's up Jaz!", I greeted Jasper as I entered his car.

Jasper smiled at me and started to move the car forward as I closed the door. "Nothing much, how's your head?"

"I have this killer headache! If this is what you call a hangover than I don't know if I want to do that again." I complained

He gave me a small laugh, "You'll get use to it if you continue to drink more. So, I've been meaning to ask you. How do you feel about Melissa?"

"What about her? I mean, she seems like a nice girl, but her being Jake's center of attention makes me not really like her. Does that make me a bad person?"

"It doesn't make you a bad person. I mean you can't help how you feel and that it seems like she's taking Jake away from you." Jasper replied sincerely

I gave a loud sigh. " They just seem to be getting close and not knowing where I stand with Jake is killing me. Last night, while you guys were getting firewood Jake and I had a moment."

"What?! A moment?! What kind of moment? And why are you just telling me know?" Jasper asked impatiently

I concentrated looking forward avoiding Jasper's eyes. "It really wasn't anything to be excited about. While you guys were gone, we just got to talking that's all. Then next thing I know we were just staring into each others eyes. It may just have been the alcohol, but the way he looked at me was different. I'm not even really sure it even happened."

"Whether it happened or not you obviously got it bad for Jake" Jasper now teasing me.

We pulled into the pizza place, went inside and it was pretty packed. Luckily, we found a booth at the back corner. We just finished ordering our food until someone just jumped into the seat next to me. It was Jake.

"What's up guys?! What are you doing here?" He inquired

Jasper and I laughed. "Same reason why you're probably here. To eat." Jasper replied back.

"So you're here by youself?" I asked Jake

"Oh, no. Melissa and I are sitting on the other side of the room. I actually just came from the bathroom and I saw you guys." Jake giving me a wink. "Well, I better get back before Melissa starts worrying."

Jacob had left us and I could see that he and Melissa were sitting directly in front of me. I guess Jake told Melissa we were here as well and she turned towards us and waved hello. God, I hate that girl. I leaned forward and put my head on the table. I gave a little moan either from this pain I feel knocking in my head or my heart breaking slowly into pieces. I looked up, "Jasper, what's wrong with me?"

"Nothings wrong with you. You've got a hangover and a crappy love life. Welcome to the club! You're slowly becoming a VIP member. Don't worry this isn't a frat so there wouldn't be any hazing, I mean. Unless you want." Jasper chuckled and sipped on his soda. "Look, you have two choices from where I'm sitting. Choice "A" you can keep this pity party and watch Jake and Melissa become the disgustingly adorable happy looking couple. Or "B" you and Jake can be the happy and disgusting happy couple. The only problem with "B" is that we don't even know where Jake is in this picture. We're both still trying to figure this out. I've been watching him and I don't really see anything out of the ordinary, but I do notice that when you are around he seems a little more lively. Ok, on a serious note. How would you feel if Jake and Melissa were a couple? Would you even be able to handle it? "

I lowered my head down again and grunted a little. "Grunting is not an answer. You need to figure it out. I hate seeing you like this. I want you to be happy." Jasper grabbed my hand and started rubbing it. I looked back up to see that Jake and Melissa laughing hysterically across the room. I wonder what they're talking about. "Jasper to Seth! Hello! Back over here."

I finally sat back up and got comfortable again, "I don't know if I can answer that. Just looking at them across the room I feel like I'm drowning in sorrow."

"You've got to make a decision soon buddy. If it takes you just plain up and ask Jacob to finally get your answer then I say go for it. It's way better than just sitting here moping." Jasper said.

"So you're telling me to just ask him. Walk up to him and just ask him if he's even remotely interested in me? Talking about being bold." I replied

"Do you want to live your life with this "what if" and just wonder what could happen?"

I glanced over the Jake and Melissa again. Jake was now tearing apart his pizza while Melissa was on her phone. "What if I lose him?" I asked.

"Is that a risk you're willing to take? You're at a crossroad here splitting in two different directions. It could go either way." Jasper said.

Our food came a few minutes later and we were devouring it. "You're going to have to make up your mind soon or just sit there and keep watching Jacob and Melissa across the room."

"Now?!" I asked

Jasper started laughing. "No, not now. But you do have to make a decision soon. For you own sake. If it helps, I'll be there for you every step of the way."

We continued eating and started talking about another subject. It was Edwards birthday next weekend and their whole family usually goes on a camping trip. Jasper was right though. I do need to make a decision. A good hour has past and we were still there talking about random things. I looked across the room again and I noticed that Jake and Melissa were gone. When did they leave?

"Are you ready to go?" Jasper asked. "We're going to my house to take your mind off things and that wasn't a request."

We paid for the bill and started driving towards Jaspers house. I've only been to his house once and all I can say is that if you didn't know where you are going in there, you would get lost. I grabbed my phone to check the time when I realised that I had a text message. I looked into it and it was from Jacob. "Sorry I didn't get to say good bye. Melissa had to go home in a hurry - Jake".

I sent him a text back saying "Don't worry about it. I didn't realise you guys left. Hope everythings ok."

Not a second later I got a reply from Jacob. "Let's hang out tomorrow? My dad has a date and I'll be home alone. - Jake"

We got to Jaspers house and found everyone playing board games in the living room. I didn't know people still did that. Jasper and I quickly joined the game. This was fun. After the board games were finished, we all ended up singing karaoke. Random yes I know, but this completely got my mind off things for awhile.

After a few good hours with Jaspers family I decided I wanted to go home. As Jasper dropped me off my cell phone rang. It was Embry.

"Hey whats up Em?" I greeted Embry and waved goodbye to Jasper.

"Hey dude, can you talk? I really need someone to talk to." he replied back.

I was concerned and took a seat on one of our porch furniture. "Yea, what's up man? Is everything ok?"

"Ugh, you know that chick I was talking about? I totally caught her making out with some dude at our secret spot."

"Are you serious? That totally sucks!" I replied back to him. "But I thought you guys decided you guys were just friends?"

I heard Em sigh on the other end. "Yea, but we kind of got together last week."

"Oh...yea. I'm sorry."

Embry starting going off over this girl that cheated on him. I know I'm suppose to feel really bad for him, but I just felt really confused because the last time I talked to Embry that the girl specifically just wanted to stay friends. I talked to Em for about 20 more minutes till he had to go answer another phone call. As I sat outside my house my phone vibrated.

"I see you -Jake" was written on my screen as I checked my phone.

I replied back to his text stating "Creep! Lol" I chuckled

My phone went off and I saw that Jake was calling.

"What's up creeper." I answered

I heard him laugh on the other end, "Nothing much just watching my favorite victim. You know, just have to make sure I keep it fresh." We both started laughing. I love this side of Jake.

"So how are things with you and Melissa?" I asked trying to find out what's going on with the two.

"What about Mel and I?" he answered my question with another.

"Mel?"

"Yea. Mel meaning Melissa." he chuckled

"Yea, you guys have been hanging out a lot. Getting really close there?" I stated

There was a short silence on the phone. "She's a cool girl." was all he said. It's always so vague when we're discussing her. Does he feel uncomfortable talking to me about her?

"So...are you guys going to start dating soon? Or that's already happening?" I asked. I wanted to dig deeper than a vague answer. I know I'm probably digging a hole for myself, but I have to know.

Jacob started laughing. "I can't answer that question at the moment. You know what's funny?"

"What?"

He started laughing some more, "When I talk to you guys. You and Melissa I mean. You guys always know how to make me laugh. It's ridiculous. I know you don't really talk to her much, but you'd be really surprised how much you and Melissa are alike."

Yea I was surprised by that statement. "What do you mean we're alike?"

"When I talk to you guys. You make me laugh. I feel like I can be myself. I'm so comfortable with you guys that I don't feel like I have to be anybody, but myself" he confessed. "Why do you think I consider you one of my best friends?"

I started feeling butterflies in my stomach. I wanted to push the subject a little more. "What do you consider Melissa?"

"There you go making me laugh again!" Jake just suddenly changed the subject. "So tomorrow night? You and me rematch?!"

"Sure. What time do you want me over?" I asked

"Come over anytime. We can make a day out of it if you don't have any plans."

"OK for sure." I said.

"OK then. It's a date!" he laughed.

We both got off the phone and I finally made my way inside. I saw Leah sitting down in the living room as she and Paul were watching a movie. I asked how they were doing and they both said they were doing good. They were really connecting. My parents seemed very fond of Paul as well. We haven't seen Leah so happy; which in return made my parents very happy.

While I was sitting down with Leah and Paul watching movie, I started considering what Jasper had told me earlier at the pizza place. Maybe he was right. I really need to make a choice of how I am going to live my life. Am I just going to sit down on the sidelines or am I going to go after what I want. Looking at Leah and Paul, they were so happy. Remembering what Jake said about how happy he was being able to be himself around Melissa and I; I felt a little jealous. I haven't been myself. The only person who I can say truly knows me is Jasper. Everyone else see's this facade. Maybe I shouldn't just be who everyone expects me to be. I need to be me. Living with all these secrets I starting to feel like I don't know who I am anymore. Who am I?

The rest of the night was just spent watching movies. I retired to my room around 10 and laid there thinking about the day I was going to spend with Jake tomorrow. What if I tell him and I lose him as a friend? Would he still consider me his best friend? Would the other guys in the group be my friend? All these thoughts kept circling my head until I fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up to my phone ringing. I looked over at my clock to see that it was only 9am. I answered my phone all groggy not knowing who was on the other end.

"H-Hello?"

"Did you make a decision?" the voice asked me.

Who the hell is calling me so early about a decision. I took a look at my phone to see it was Jasper calling. "Jasper it's way too early for this."

Jasper started laughing. "You are so not a morning person are you?"

"Does it sound like it?"

"I've been awake since 6 in the morning and I'm on my way to your house. I'm taking you to Ihop. Get ready bitch." was all he said then he hung up.

Ugh! It's so early. What did I do to deserve this. It's Sunday! I lazily got up and with my eyes still heavy. I walked towards my dresser, but all of the sudden I tripped over my backpack and fell on the floor. This was so not a good morning. It was a good 10 minutes after I hung up the phone with Jasper he finally arrived honking his horn yelling for me to get out. We got to Ihop and took a seat at one of the booths.

"Wake up cutie!" Jasper trying to wake me up.

"I am awake" I stated irritably

"Good. So you and Jake are hanging out today yea?"

"Yea." I answered short.

"Do you think you're going to say something today?" he asked

I gave a deep exhale. "Why are you pushing it Jasper?!"

"Because you're my best friend and if at least you know the answer; if it's good then you and Jake will be happy together and if it's bad then you'll cry. I'll be there, but at least you can move on and you'll never have that "what if" in your life." Jasper saying concernly. "I know how it feels to be too scared to tell someone how you feel. It sucks."

Jaspers a good friend. He's pushing me to do something I really don't want to do, but to avoid regret I have to push myself. Not just with Jacob, but with my whole life. I need to start taking control. I need to be happy. Who knew you can start finding a piece of yourself at Ihop.

"I don't know if I'm going to do it today, but I'm going to do it soon." I told Jasper. "You're right, I don't want to keep myself in this state. It's killing me internally and I just have to work up the courage to actually do this. If Jacob is really my friend and if he's not gay. He wouldn't walk away. He would be there too." Trying to convince myself was easy, but acting upon it was going to be a different perspective.

We continued talking and finished eating our breakfast. Jasper didn't want to leave just yet so we decided to hit up the mall. We didn't really buy anything; we ended up just walking around the mall and talk some more. He really knew how to give a pep talk.

Jasper ended up dropping me off at Jakes house instead of my house. I waved goodbye and walked slowly towards Jacobs door. I knew he was home because I can hear the radio on blast inside. My legs started feeling weak. Before I could even knock on his door, it opened up.

"Seth!" Jacob greeting me with a smile. "You're here!"

"Yea I'm here." I replied the obvious.

We hung out watching a movie and ordered pizza. We started playing Call of Duty and I was kicking some ass. I was having a really good time. Actually, whenever I spend time with Jake alone is a good time. We were in the middle of the game when Jacobs phone rang.

"It's Melissa" Jacob says and we paused the game. I really didn't know what she was saying on the other end. He said that I was over and she said hi from the other line. Jacob turned around, but it looked like he was blushing over something she said. It was only a quick conversation then we were back to playing our game. Every now and then I would glance at Jacob as he concentrated on the screen. He was so damn attractive. I so wanted him to be mine. Yearning for more attention. I wanted to feel his arms around me. His lips on mine. I was too concentrated on Jake that I didn't realise that he killed me.

"Hey you cheated!" I yelled and pushed him on his shoulder.

Jacob was laughing "If you werent too busy checking me out you would have seen me behind you!" he pushed me back.

"I was not checking you out!" I lied and pushed him harder.

Jacob then threw his controller on the floor and tackled me down with him. We were now wrestling. He pinned me under him and said "Say it!"

I got him to lose his balance and I rolled on top of him. "Say what?!" I asked.

He wrapped his legs around my hips and twisted them so he got on top of me again. He grabbed both my hands and placed them above my head. "Say you were checking me out" He was now laughing

I started getting red in the face. I quickly slipped my hand off his grip and I rolled over. I quickly grabbed him from behind and flipped both of us back. He then rolled over to his back and I got on top of him once again so he couldn't move. "I was not checking you out." I lied again.

"I know I look good. If I were you I'd check myself out too" he laughed some more.

I couldn't help, but started feeling angry. This is what I can't live with anymore. Is he flirting with me or is this some joke? I had both of his arms pinned at his sides. He just kept on laughing while I was just looking at him. Admiring who was beneath me.

"See you're doing it again!" Jacob continued teasing me.

I don't know how it happened or where it came from, but all of the sudden my lips were on top of his. Jake stopped laughing. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds, but I swear it felt like an eternity. I lifted myself off of him and I could see that his eyes were wide open. What did I just do. Did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?

"I-I'm sorry" I told him as I got off him.

He got to his feet and just stared at me not saying a word. He just looked at each other. Not saying anything.

"Look, I'm sorry. I don't know where that came from." I told him apologetically. He still didn't say anything. I couldn't tell by the look at his face of what was going through his mind. We just stared at each other for a few more seconds until he finally said a word.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Well..it was..I..."

"So...are you gay?" he asked another question.

"Well...I-I don't know. All I know is that I like you." I confessed. "You make me smile and l laugh." I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes. The lump in my throat was almost choking me.

"But...I'm not gay." Jacob stated. That is what I was afraid of.

I couldn't hold it back anymore. I just started crying. All this emotion I've been holding back decided to just come out. At least now I know.

"Ok, I understand. It was stupid on my part. I know you never showed me signs that you were. I'm sorry that it happened and I'll understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore." I confessed some more.

"I never said I didn't want to be your friend." Jacob said to me.

"Well, I'm going to say this. I can't be your friend right now. It's too hard to see you and Melissa together. I feel like such an idiot right now." I told him and my tears kept on falling. "Look, I don't know where I stand with you. And I don't know what I really mean to you. All I know is everytime I think of you. All I want to do is to be with you. You're all I ever think about Jacob. Do you know how hard that is to see you everyday and not be next to you? When you avoided that week I came back to school from being sick, after our great conversations. That hurted me so bad. But I couldn't...I wouldn't let you see how bad that hurt me. And you know what sucks about that? I still wanted you. Why?! Because of how you make me feel. You know how to make my day not even having to say a word to me. You being yourself around me and you being one of my best friends...I couldn't help but fall for you. I fell Jacob. And now that I know that you're not going to be there to catch me. I can't see you right now. I can't talk to you right now. It's going to hurt too much. I need to get over my feelings for you. And until I can do that I just have to keep my distance."

"But..." Jacob started saying something until I cut him off.

"But if you can tell me that you're something more than "straight" I don't know how I'm going to handle this." I can tell my eyes were red now. My face was full of tears drops rolling off my cheeks. And I can see Jacob just standing there staring at me. Speechless. "It was fun Jacob, but this is a goodbye for now."

I turned around and headed towards the door. Even more tears were falling from my eyes. I couldn't believe all this just happened. Jacob was just standing still behind me. Not moving an inch from where I left him. I got to the door trying to get my breathing in order. As I turned the doorknob, all I can think of was this was it.


	7. Chapter 7

__I would like to thank everyone for all the great responses from the last chapter. I swear your reviews keep me motivated to keep writing. Thank you for the new follows! I never even expected people to like this story. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as well :)

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_"Well, I'm going to say this. I can't be your friend right now. It's too hard to see you and Melissa together. I feel like such an idiot right now." I told him and my tears kept on falling. "Look, I don't know where I stand with you. And I don't know what I really mean to you. All I know is everytime I think of you. All I want to do is to be with you. You're all I ever think about Jacob. Do you know how hard that is to see you everyday and not be next to you? When you avoided that week I came back to school from being sick, after our great conversations. That hurted me so bad. But I couldn't...I wouldn't let you see how bad that hurt me. And you know what sucks about that? I still wanted you. Why?! Because of how you make me feel. You know how to make my day not even having to say a word to me. You being yourself around me and you being one of my best friends...I couldn't help but fall for you. I fell Jacob. And now that I know that you're not going to be there to catch me. I can't see you right now. I can't talk to you right now. It's going to hurt too much. I need to get over my feelings for you. And until I can do that I just have to keep my distance."_

_"But..." Jacob started saying something until I cut him off._

_"But if you can tell me that you're something more than "straight" I don't know how I'm going to handle this." I can tell my eyes were red now. My face was full of tears drops rolling off my cheeks. And I can see Jacob just standing there staring at me. Speechless. "It was fun Jacob, but this is a goodbye for now."_

_I turned around and headed towards the door. Even more tears were falling from my eyes. I couldn't believe all this just happened. Jacob was just standing still behind me. Not moving an inch from where I left him. I got to the door trying to get my breathing in order. As I turned the doorknob, all I can think of was this was it._

_As I turned the doorknob I heard footsteps rushing up behind me. Oh god, was he going to punch me? I started to open the door slightly until Jacob slammed the door back shut. He grabbed my arm and turned me around aggressively. He pushed me against the door and just stared at me. What was he thinking?_

_"What are you..." I started to say when Jacob leaned in and kissed me._

_As shocked as I was this had to be the best kiss I had ever had. His lips was so soft and moist. There was not tongue, but it had all the emotion to back it up. I could hear his heavy breathing and I could feel his heart beating against my chest. He then backed up and I think this time I looked like a deer caught in headlights._

_We were silently looking at eachother until I broke the silence. "W-what was that?" I asked. This time it I was the one left with all the questions._

_"I couldn't help it. I couldn't let you walk out." he confessed._

_"So where does this leave us? What are we? Are we anything?" I inquired._

_"I don't know. I didn't lie to you when I said that I wasn't gay. But since the first day we talked on the phone I started gaining all these feelings for you which left me confused. I wanted to talk to you more. I wanted to spend every day with you at school. I wanted more, but I'm not gay. Or at least I don't think so. I'm still trying to figure this out. As hard it was hard for you when I ignored you, it was just as hard for me to treat you that way. I didn't know how to act around you. When the first time I saw you after you came back I got nervous. Sure, I was excited that you were back, but seeing you walk up to us I couldn't help get butterflies. No one has ever done that to me before. Seth, you don't know what you do to me. Everytime you laugh I can't help, but not laugh myself. Seeing James hitting on you I made me want to punch him. He was trying to get at you and I wanted you all to myself. That sounds selfish I know. Granted I didn't know you liked me as well, but I don't know if I would have ever been the first to confess my feelings."_

_"What about you and Melissa? Where does this leave you guys?" I asked another question_

_"What about Melissa?! You keep talking about Melissa and I'm here confessing how I feel about you!" Jacob yelled seeming frustrated._

_"Well aren't you guys kind of dating?"_

_"Melissa and I are just friends. You have Jasper and I have her. End of story. Should I assume somethings going on with you and Jasper? You guys spend a lot of time together." Jacob said_

_"No! We're just friends!" I yelled back at him_

_"Exactly! That's what I'm trying to tell you." Jacob now calming down and sitting down on the couch. I took a seat right now to him._

_"So what does this make us? Are we together? Or are we just friends?" I asked._

_"I don't know. I can barely grasp on what's going on right now. Honestly, I can't believe I just did that right now." Jacob telling me._

_"Look, if it was a mistake then we can just pretend that never happened, but if that's what you're telling me right now then I still can't be your friend because that doesn't change the way I feel for you."_

_Jacob looked defeated and said softly, "I don't want to lose you as a friend or anything else. I don't even know where I stand right now. Just like you're probably trying to find yourself. I've been fighting these things for awhile as well. Since you came here to Forks my life has been turned upside down." Jake reached over and held my hand. "I can't promise you much, but I can promise you that if we take this one step at a time we'll figure this out. All I know is that I want to be with you and I'm not going to let an opportunity like this walk away from me."_

_I couldn't say anything, but smile and nodded._

As we were sitting down and I was staring at Jake, the room started getting darker and it seemed like Jacob was starting to fade away. What's going on here?! There was a loud buzz that echoed everywhere.

I opened my eyes just to see that I was in my room. My phone was violently vibrating next to me. My eyes felt so heavy and puffy from all the crying that happened last night. Then reality slapped me on my face. Jacob confessing his love for me was just a dream. The only thing that happened last night was me walking out of Jacobs house and running home to confine myself in my room. So many tears was shed last night which also caused me to fall asleep. Did I make the wrong decision in not wanting to talk to him for awhile. My heart hurts so much. How am I to act around him now? Did he tell everyone else?

My phone continued to vibrate next to me. I grabbed it to find out it was Jasper that was calling. Oh god. How am I going to tell him. I guess there's only one way to do it and just tell him. He said he'll be there for me. And right now, that's what I'm going to need.

"Hi Jasper." I greeted lowly

It sounded like he was driving somewhere because I could hear the sound of wind through the background. What time was it? I looked at the clock, it was only 6:30 in the morning! What was he calling me so early.

"So! Tell me, did you do it?!" was all he asked.

I couldn't hide it even just talking to him over the phone. I started crying again. It hurted so bad just to think of what happened last night.

"Are you crying?! OMG what happened. Never mind, I'm a few blocks away from your house. Open the door for me." Jasper said quickly and hung up the call.

He was right, it wasn't long till I got a text saying to open the front door. I really wasn't feeling the want to get out of bed today. I slowly made my way downstairs. Looks like everyone is still sleeping, I'm glad because I would hate for them to see me like this. I opened the door for Jasper and made my way back up to my room with him following right behind me. I jumped back in bed and put the covers over me so he wouldn't see me. I heard Jasper close my bedroom door and i felt my bed dip as he sat down next to me. He pulled the covers over me and he saw that I was still crying. He scooted over to me and placed his hands on my cheeks and wiped my tears off with his thumb.

"What happened last night?" he asked softly

As I began to tell him every detail of what happened last night. I continued to cry some more. This time Jasper jumped to the other side of the bed and just cuddle with me and hold me. His hold kept getting tighter as I continued to tell him about my confession and how I just walked out of his house.

"He's such a dick" Jasper said

I turned over to face Jasper. "No he's not. I kissed him. Not the other way around. I guess he just acted like anyone else would."

"Fuck that bullshit. He shouldn't have let you walk away. Even if he didn't feel the same way, he shouldn't have let you walk away!"

I didn't expect Jasper to be this angered. My emotions started to take over me again and I started the water works. He pulled me closer to him and he let me cry on his chest.

"Now you know. I hate seeing you like this. It breaks me to see you crying. But you know what? We'll get through this. I promise you that." Jasper said as he rubbed my back

I looked up at him, "What's going to happen today when we get to school? I don't know how I'm going to act around him. I told him I can't be his friend right now because it would hurt too much to see him with Melissa. What if he tells everyone?"

Jasper gave a sigh and looked into my eyes, "I may not know Jacob all that well, but I know him well enough that he's not going to out you. I can assure you that. Look, if you don't want to see him right now then we can both hang out somewhere else. Yea, people might start asking questions, but just tell them that you're going through something personal. The guys won't push the issue. They're guys. As for Jacob and Melissa. Try not to let that bother you too much. After all, at the end of the day. You and Jacob are still friends right?" I nodded. "Good, start getting ready. You're going to ride with me to school. I'll wait here."

I started getting ready. I got to the bathroom and looked at my face. Oh god, I looked like a mess. I took as shower and Jasper was left in my room waiting for me to finish up. I quickly finished up not wanting anyone in the house to see how horrible I look. Jasper and I left my house and started driving to school. When we got to the parking lot, we didn't get out. We just sat there talking. Jasper trying to get my mind off things and asking me random questions. I'm glad I have him as a friend. I don't know how I would be able to handle all this all alone.

I got to my first class and I noticed Embry wasn't there today. Good cause I didn't feel like doing any explaining. I kept my head down during class trying to avoid any wandering eyes. My thoughts came back to Jake. My feelings were so split right now. Half of me didn't want to see him, but the other half did. But how would I even act around him? Would that even be possible?

As the lunch bell rang, I quickly got out off the the class and headed towards the other side of the field of where we usually all hang out. I looked over at the group to notice that Jacob wasn't even there. Where was he? I heard a familiar voice behind me. I turned around to see that it was Jacob and Melissa sitting down on some benches behind me. Jacob and I made eye contact. The way his eyes looked made me feel like he was surprised to see me there. Melissa saw me and smiled and said hi. Before I could even greet her back I heard Jacob say "We have to go" and they both got up and left. I started to feel even more crushed. Was he avoiding me again?!

I took a seat at the bench where Jacob and Melissa occupied and just put my head down feeling defeated. I heard someone sit next to me and clear their throat to gain my attention. I thought it was Jasper, but I was wrong. It was James.

"What's up buddy? Where's your guard dog?" He asked with a smile.

I rolled my eyes and looked forward. "What's it to you?"

"You seem down, is everything ok?" He asked me another question.

"Why do you even care?" I answered with another question.

He nudged his shoulder with my shoulder. "I always see you smiling and today there's not a hint of it on your face."

I turned to look at him again. "I'm just going through some shit right now that's all."

"Did you need anyone to talk to?"

"Why? What are you getting from this?" I inquired

He gave me another smile. "I'm not getting anything from this. You seem like you need a friend since you're isolated away from your group. I was just walking around I saw you here. I saw your dog and his little chihuahua walk away so I decided to see if you were ok." He looked away from me and took a deep breath, "I know you hear a lot of stuff about me. Bad stuff. I can tell you that a lot of them are true, yea. But if I can say, no one has ever asked me why I'm even like this. Why I put up such a front with everyone. Deep down, I'm broken too."

I was trying to study his face. I didn't why he's even wasting his time.

James turned to look at me again. "Give me a chance to be your friend. That's all I'm asking. I promise you're not going to regret it. I want you to see that deep down, I'm not a douche. Just a guy trying to survive his high school life. Just like you. I may not have a lot of friends, but can't say that I don't try. Here's my number." He took out a piece of paper from his pocket and started to write down some digits and handed it to me. "When or if you feel like you want to give me a chance of your friendship; I'll be on the other end waiting for your phone call." He gave me another one of his charming smiles, got up and walked away.

He was right though, he has a reputation. I doubt anyone has even tried to get to know him. I took his number and pushed it into my pocket. Maybe I should just give him a chance of friendship if that's all he's asking for. It was another 5 minutes till Jasper met up with me at the bench. He asked me again how I was doing. I told him about what happened with Jacob and he seemed angered by Jacobs reaction.

"It's going to be so awkward in my math class now. We have the same class." I told Jasper.

"Then don't make it awkward. Pay attention to class and pretend that he's not even there. There's not much you can do with him being in the same class." Jasper said.

Ugh, Jasper was right. As I heard the bell ring, I dreaded going to my math class. I purposely walked to class really slow. I got in a few minutes before the bell rang and I see Jacob still hasn't come in yet. I took my normal seat. A few seconds later Jacob entered the class. With his head down, avoiding eye contact. He sat down a few seats behind me which was awkward because he usually sits right next to me. This time for sure I knew he was avoiding me. This was actually worse than before. At least before he still sat next to me. I'm losing this battle. I turned to look at him, but as I turned he looked the other way. Ouch! Did I just lose him as a friend? I felt my eyes start to tear up again, but not wanting him to see I turned to look forward again. Wasn't this what I wanted. To be away from him for awhile? Yes but I didn't want to be treated like I wasn't even in the same room. I was breaking in many different pieces. I'm breaking too fast to even try to put myself back together now.

The end of class didn't come soon enough. I grabbed my things and flew out the door without taking a chance to look back. I know that I have Jasper, but even just that I still felt alone. The one person that could have put me back together is making it clear that he doesn't want anything to do with me. I walked towards my locker when I saw Melissa running my way. Great, someone who I really didn't want to see right now.

"Seth!" Melissa yelled out as she continued running towards me.

"Hey" I greeted her.

As she was pulling her hair back into a ponytail she never left eye contact. Her eyes looked very concerned and I could see a hint of sadness in there. What did she want?

"Can I help you?" I asked her since she still hasn't said anything.

"I know there's something going on between you and Jake..." she started saying until I cut her off.

"Look Melissa. I don't want to sound rude, but you're the last person I want to talk about Jake with." I interrupted.

I tried to walk pass by her, but she pushed me into a locker so I wouldn't leave without hearing what she wanted to say. "I've been talking to Jake and I've been telling him what he's doing is stupid and immature."

"What's your point?!" I was getting frustrated.

"My point is that you guys are friends. Whatever happened between you two..."

"Whatever happened between Jake and I are our business." I interrupted once again.

"I'm trying to help you!" Melissa said

Getting even more frustrated I pushed her hand out of my way. I walked passed by her, turned around and said, "I didn't ask for your help!" Feeling more heated I left her in the hallway as I turned the corner.

Why did she even try to seek me out? I didn't ask for her help. What was she even trying to do? Rub the situation even deeper. No, that's not what I want. I'm not going to let her. She won. She has Jacob and I'm left without him. For all I know, she just needs to stay away from me.

I'm starting to lose a grip on everything. The rest of the school day went by slowly. I wasn't even paying attention to any of the lectures. All I heard with the ticking the clock was making. I was so anxious to get out of here.

When I finally got home I went straight for my room again. I've been feeling antisocial and I really didn't have a need to communicate with anyone right now. Thinking on the events that happened today at school I start to question if Jacob told Melissa what happened or did she notice it all by herself? And if Jacob really did tell her are they just laughing at how pathetic I've become? Feeling so low, I needed to talk to someone. Someone new. I decided to take James offer. I reached in my pocket and decided to call him.

"Who's this?" James said as he picked up his phone.

"H-hi. It's Seth." I replied back to him shyly.

"Oh hey buddy! So you decided to give me a shot." I could tell he was smiling on the other end.

I rolled around in my bed thinking if I'm making the right decision. "Yea, so um. I really don't want to be home right now. Did you want to meet up for coffee and just talk?" I asked.

He chuckled. "Yea, that would be great. When did you want to meet up?"

"About half an hour. There's a new coffee shop that opened down the street from our school. Do you know the place?"

"Yea. See you soon." He said and hung up the phone.

I rubbed my face with my hands and took a breathe. There's nothing wrong with just talking right? After all he's just asking for my friendship and that's all I'm willing to give him.

I started to walk to the new coffee shop which is about a 10 minute walk from my house. The only problem is that I have to pass Jacob's house just to get there. There was no avoiding it unless I want to go around and take an hour just to go to the coffee shop. As I walked pass Jacob's house, I noticed his truck parked in the driveway. So that means he's home. I tried to hurry past his house when I heard his truck door open. I don't know why, but my feet suddenly stopped and turned towards the trucks direction. Jacob was just getting out of his truck. Again, we both made eye contact. Staring at eachother once again. Not saying anything. I could feel the tension between us and we were nowhere near each other. I started getting frustrated and hurt at the same time. I decided to turn around and walk away. I could feel my heart swell every time I see him.

As I got to the coffee shop I noticed that James wasn't there yet. So I decided to take a seat outside on one of their patio furnitures. My phone started ringing. I grabbed it and saw it was Jasper calling. Probably trying to check up on me.

"Hey Jaz."

"Best friend! Where are you? I'm at your house and your mom told me you left." Jasper told me.

"I'm actually at the new coffee shop that opened down the street." I replied back

"Oh cool I can meet you there."

"Um. Well I'm actually meeting someone here already." I confessed.

"Oh whoo?" Jasper asked.

I gave a big gulp not wanting to hear what Jasper had to say. "James"

"W-wait?! Who? I thought I heard wrong. Did you say James?!" His voice started increasing with every word.

"Yes I said James." I answered quickly

"But why?! He of all people."

"He just wants to be my friend." I said starting to regret telling him.

"NO! I can't allow that!" Jasper now seeming to be even more frustrated.

I was starting to get annoyed. "Jasper you don't even know the guy!"

"I know him well enough. We dated for a day in our Freshmen year. When I mean a day I really ment a day. We started dating one morning and I caught him cheating after school with another guy. I don't want you hanging out with a guy like him." he confessed to me.

"I'm not trying to date him. All he wants to do is talk with me." I said irritably

"And you can't talk to me?! I've always been here for you. I'm your fuckin' best friend for christ sakes!" Jasper now starting to sound sad.

With all these emotions rolling over me I just decided to hang up the phone without saying another word. I know that was stupid of me to do, but I didn't want to hear anymore of his lecture.

I sat around for another good 10 minutes till James arrived. He asked if I wanted something to drink and I nodded at him. He disappeared into the shop and came back out with two frappuccinos.

"Oh you're finally giving me a coffee date. It only took you a few months." He said as he sat down next to me.

"It's not a date." I quickly replied back to him

"You can call it whatever you want. I still get to sit here with you drink coffee" he said with a smile . "So are you going to tell me what's going on? Why the change of heart?"

"I've decided to stop listening to other people and make my own decision."

He seemed amused. "I don't think that's the whole truth, but either way. It still benefits me. So what are the rumours going on about me this time. I lost track with it years ago."

I was starting to feel uncomfortable with his questions. "Well...let's just say they're not the friendliest rumours." I said

He pushed me gently and gave me a small laugh, "Oh c'mon. I promise I'm wearing my big boy pants. I can handle the truth."

I didn't want to look at him. "Um..well. Most of it is just that you're very promiscuous." I confessed.

To my surprise James started laughing hysterically. "Oh that's it. That's old news! I would have thought they would make up something a little more exciting than that. Something like I was secretly pregnant or I have half a dozen kids walking around town."

I looked at him puzzled. "That doesn't bother you?"

"No because they don't know me. They never took the time to get to know me. All it is are words and assumptions that I let them believe."

This guy keeps surprising me. "Why don't you let people know the real you?" I asked him.

"Nobody ever cared enough to find out the truth. Plus, this isn't the right time for that kind of conversation." he said as he gave me a wink.

We talked a little bit more then out of the corner of my eye I saw Melissa coming up. Oh god, there she goes again. I swear I'm going to punch her in the face one of these days. Does she have some kind of homing beacon on me or something?! She noticed me sitting down with James and to my dismay she walked up to me.

"Hey Seth, can I talk to you over here for a few seconds." She said as she waited for me to stand up.

"I don't think I have a choice do I?" I irritably told her.

We walked over to the other side of the patio just out of earshot. She put both her hands on my shoulder, "Hey so you're hanging out with James?" she asked concernedly. "I know we're not that close or anything, but you really shouldn't be hanging out with him."

Getting annoyed I rolled my eyes. "Look, you're not my friend. You can't tell me what to do and I can hang out with whoever I want." I spat back at her.

She lowered her hands from my shoulder to grab both my hands, "I'm just trying to look out for you and be a friend. No matter how much you don't want my friendship."

"Yea thanks for the advice." I took my hands away from her grip and walked back to James.

As I sat back down James asked "What was that about? It looked like an intense conversation."

"Oh nothing serious. Just someone sticking their nose where it shouldn't belong." I replied back.

"It was about me wasn't it?" he inquired.

I looked at him, "It doesn't matter if it was or not. Let's get back to our conversation."

We stayed and talked at the coffee shop for about an hour till we decided to depart our own separate ways. So much has happened today. More than I would have liked. As I was making my way back home, I dreaded the thought of walking past Jakes house again. His truck was still parked in the driveway, but hopefully he was inside his house. I couldn't help, but think how things have turned out. I've lost Jake as a good friend, but hopefully I've gained a new friend in James.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the long update! I've been trying to take my time with these chapters to make it even more enjoyable. Thanks again for the reviews and the new follows. I really appreciate it :) Hope you guys enjoy this.**

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A week has past and I seem to be getting closer with James. He wasn't the person who I'd thought he be. Though it can be annoying every time he tries to make a pass at me. But that doesn't stop me from putting up the stop sign and telling him that our relationship isn't changing. That it's strictly platonic. I also noticed that being friends with James also comes with a cost. It has put a strain into my relation with Jasper. Yes, we do still talk, but not as often. He says that he wouldn't accept the fact that I decided to become friends with James, but he says that I made my decision. He's still my best friend and we hang out every so often. But that still doesn't change the awkwardness between us.

I still haven't talked to Jake, but he's also making it clear that he doesn't want to do anything with me. Like when he would see me walking down the hall he would turn the other way or cut the corner so we wouldn't pass each other. He hasn't been sitting next to me in our math class either. Sometimes I just wonder if he's hurting as bad as I am too, but I highly doubt it. As for hanging out with the guys it's kind of the same story. What's actually weird is that both Jake and I haven't hung around with the group. Embry started asking questions what's going on. He would tell me that Jacob still hasn't confessed that he and Melissa are officially dating, but everyone in the group already thinks that they are an item. That's really the last thing I want to hear. It's like a low key slap on the face hearing all this information. Not wanting to hear what else he has to say I would just quickly change the subject to another topic. Lucky for me, he doesn't notice my uncomfortness.

Leah and Paul are still dating. I'm really happy for her, but due to my heart still broken I try to avoid all their cheesy acts with one another. Paul would try and conversate with me asking me how things have been going. That he and the other guys miss hanging out with me. I would just tell him that I have this big school project that I've been putting my head into and that's its a big part of my grade.

With the days passing by I keep slowly losing myself. I find myself alone a lot. It's because I don't feel like talking to anyone. That's also including Jasper and James. Or when I do happen to be hanging out with one of them, I tend to zone out. Which typically means I'm not even there. Jasper tries to cheer me up, but for the fact that I've been hanging around with James he hasn't really been around. James in the other hand seems like he's really enjoying my company. He's actually a pretty decent guy. I've learn a lot of things about him, but still I feel like he's keeping things away from me.

"I know things suck right now, but you have to let me in one of these days." Jasper telling me as I lay down on the sand. Jasper and I decided to hang out at the beach after school today since it was sunny. A rare occasion living here at Forks.

Even if it's been a week; it hasn't stopped the tears from coming in. "Yea" I said to Jasper. "Let's not talk about it ok? Can we change the subject?" I asked

"Sure, what do you want to talk about?" Jasper inquired

"Um..tell me about your camping trip. How did it go?"

Jasper smiled. "It was fun. You should have went! After all I did invite you."

"I just didn't feel like mingling with anyone at the time." I confessed.

Jasper gave a snicker. "You mean you still don't feel like mingling." I rolled around to look at him. "I understand you're still hurt, but isolating yourself from everyone isn't helping either. If it makes you feel better, Jacob doesn't look like he's doing any better than you are."

"I doubt that." I said with disapproval.

"You may not see it, but I do. I was talking to Melissa the other day and she's been telling me that he's been hard to be around lately. He's been in a pissy mood." Jasper said.

"Why is the happy couple's honeymoon phase over?"

Jasper gave a sigh. "Can you stop that. I doubt they're together. Neither of them are confessing it. I've even asked Melissa myself. She herself denied it."

"Aren't we suppose to be talking about another subject instead of coming back to Jacob?" I asked.

"You see. That's the thing. You want to change the subject, but I know you. You may not be speaking it, but you're always thinking about him. There's no denying it. So why even bother."

I got back up and walked closer to the water as the waves would lightly touch my toes. In an instant I felt Jaspers arms wrap around me from behind. We stood still letting the ocean breeze hit us. "It's going to hurt for awhile. Let it go Seth. Let your emotions take control. I'm here for you." I turned around and started crying on Jaspers shoulders. Jasper pulls back, cups my face in his hands and tilts my head up towards his and says, "Butterflies don't know the color of their wings, but human eyes know how beautiful it is. Likewise, you don't know how good you are, but others can see that you are special." I started to let the pain in my chest take over once again. Trying to let things go, but in reality it's going to take more than crying my heart out to get over this hump.

The next day James and I decided to hang out at the local park. I still didn't feel comfortable hanging out with him alone in a secluded area, but having his company fills a small void. To me, he's been trying really hard to be a friend to me. He would constantly check up on me whether its via text or giving me a call. I don't know where our relationship will go, but due to me feeling this void, James sure did know how to cover it up a little bit. Is it even possible to find the light when I've been stuck in this darkness for so long?

James starts waving his hands in front of me to bring me back to reality, "I don't know what's been going on with you, but just know that I am here."

"I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. About my life in general." I confessed to him. "I've been taking the time to try and find myself. Try and find who I really am. It's kind of funny you know? Me sitting here or anywhere just hoping for that sudden epiphany to hit me. And then I start feeling stupid because still nothing has happened." I shook my head and shrugged, "Can I ask you a question?"

"You can ask me anything you want to."

"Does your parents know about you?" I asked.

James looked at me with a puzzled face. "What do you mean by know about me?" I could tell my face is turning red. I looked down. I really didn't know how else to ask him. "Don't be shy. I told you, you can ask me anything. I promise I won't get mad."

I closed my eyes trying to gather my thoughts together. Should it even matter to find out? Why does it even matter? It's just something I feel like I have to know. I need to stop overthinking things and just let things go. I took a deep break and I finally got to nerve to ask him, "Does um...your parents know about you and your relations with other guys?" There I said it.

It took James a minute to even give a response to my question. He was trying to figure out where I was going with this. Then he gave me a slight smile and leaned back. Till this day I'm still trying to figure out if he see's right through me or not. He clears his throat and I'm here anticipating what he has to say.

"Oh. Well, my mom isn't in the picture anymore. And my dad isn't around a lot to even notice things like that." he told me in a saddened tone. "I never had that your typical family growing up. When you're young, you grow up thinking that your parents would love you unconditionally. That their kids are their world. Funny thing is that, they never teach you at school how to feel when your parents are the exact opposite. My mom kept blaming me since I could remember that my dad was an abusive alcoholic. She would keep reminding me that everyday that I was the reason that she was stuck there. If I would have never been born everything would have turned out better. One day I was waiting for her to pick me up from school. I still remember that day very clearly. It was a rainy day and I remember I forgot my yellow polka dots umbrella at home. I was waiting at the steps for her, but she never came for me. I walked home in the rain. I was soaked and when I finally got home my dad was already drunk and punched me in the face. He told me that my mom had left him and that I was the reason for it. Everyday after that my dad would hit me so I wouldn't forget about that I was the reason to blame for my mom's disappearance. There was one day that he threw a glass vase and broke it on my leg because he said that I better not think about leaving him too. I never called any authorities because I was afraid. He would always try and threaten me that if I did call that even before the police would even reach us he would have slit my throat. By the time they arrive they would seen that I would have been dead already and that he would just shoot himself to get the easy way out. It's not like he's losing out on anything cause he said that I'm just a disappointment. Every other night my dad would go out drinking at a bar so I would get a few hours away from him. Those are the nights I longed for. I was still pretty young back then so he would have one of my second cousins watch me. My cousin Ryan would always be there and just hang out with me. He was the first real person to show me what it felt like how to be loved. Everything was going great between Ryan and I until one day when I thought things couldn't have gotten worse; it did. Ryan was sleeping over my house and we usually slept in the same bed. We were family so I never really thought wrong about it. This one particular night we were getting ready for bed. We were already set under the covers then he started rubbing my stomach. At first I thought he was trying to comfort me, but then his hands went lower. I tried to fight it, but he said that it was ok. He just loved me and that he wanted to show his love. That night my so called cousin took advantage of me. I guess that's the reason why I am how I am. I try to find love in all the wrong places I guess. But considering that's how I was taught where I can find love, that's how I take it. I figured out that other people have other motives than just being my friend. So I figured I'd just beat them too it. You're the first person who actually took time to get to know me and you don't expect anything from me other than my friendship."

I was speechless. I didn't know what to say after that. That was some story that I can only imagine that can come from some TV drama. I'm sitting here sad about a heartbreak and he's here telling me about his traumatic childhood. Was I that ignorant that I didn't notice how other people have it harder than me? I was taken back and I couldn't look at him for a second. But that second can mean so much more to someone else. I turned towards him once again, but this time I can see hurt in his eyes. Hurt that can only be shown because he lived through it. Note to self; don't judge a book by it's cover. It really isn't as it seems. There was only one thing to do. I grabbed him and just gave him a big hug.

James took hold of me back and squeezed me a little tighter. I could feel him breathing next to my ear. Normally, it would have bothered me with him being this close, but not now. Not after he let me in where I bet not many has ceased to know. "You asked how come the rumours don't bother me. It's because nobody has ever known the real me since I was a kid. I learned that if I don't expect a friendship; it wouldn't hurt so much that after they got what they needed they would just leave." he whispered in my ear.

I started to tear up once again, but this time it wasn't because of my broken heart. It was because of how I thought my life is bad right now. It truly can be much worse. James was an example of it.

I let go of my hold and wiped the tears forming in my eyes. "I admire you. You're so strong."

"Everyone has their own story that many people may not know. So to me, it's not so bad. One day, hopefully after high school, I'm going to leave this place and never come back." he told me "So are you going to tell me why did you ask me that question?" he gave me a smile to try and lighten the mood.

Great, he's turning it back to me. After all that he just told me how can I even continue with what I had to say? Next to that my problems is just a walk through the park. I mean metaphorically speaking. He took my hand and I looked down at it. He was trying to comfort me. He was being a friend. Something I really needed right now. With all this to mind, I really need to make more of an effort with Jasper. He's my best friend. He has always been there for me since I moved here to Forks. And right now I'm here at the park with James. I need to get a hold on things. But I'm here with James. How could I deny him a friendship now? I took another deep breath and shook my head trying to throw my thoughts away. I need to concentrate on the now. "What I was saying is that I'm trying to find myself. And I guess..trying to figure out my...interests."

"Your interests? Please do explain" James now trying to squeeze the truth out of me. Why is he trying to squeeze more out of me. Can't he see that this is hard for me to even let out?

I didn't want to look at him because it would make me feel even more uneasy than I already am. "Um..my interests...in guys." I confessed

James started laughing. "That's it?! I've known since that day I first met you!" My cheeks flushed redder.

I started getting embarrassed. "You have?" Was I that readable like an open book?

"Yea. I've studied a lot of people and you get to know people's mannerisms if you don't have many friends like I do." James said. "I've known that you also have the hots for Jacob. And to tell you the truth, you're a sore spot for him as well."

"What do you mean?" I asked

"Just the way he acts around you when I'm around. He's very protective. Doesn't mean much, but I can tell you he holds you in a different light than everyone else." James told me. "Don't worry I can also tell that you're not ready for come out just yet."

James and I stayed and talked for a little while longer then we decided to head to mall for no reason other than we wanted a change of scenery. Once we walked in you notice that there was a lot of people already in the mall. There was no way you couldn't accidently bump into someone. As we were walking I can see all these kids running past us trying to get to the arcade. Hearing all their joyful laughs and seeing the excitement in their faces just made things a little more brighter. How things seemed so much more easier when we were younger. Not having to worry about this or that. The most we had to worry about was when our nap time would be or even just wondering when our favorite tv show would finally come on. I laughed a little inside. James called me into this store so he can check out some clothes. The first thing I notice when we enter are there were a lot of mannequins that display what kind of clothes the store is offering. Great way to get someone to buy something here. If only life was as simple as picking out what outfit for the day. I noticed a mirror around the corner from where James where and I quickly glanced at myself. I didn't realise that I had all this dark bags under my eyes.

"So what do you think about this shirt?" I turned around to see James pulling out a white striped v neck.

"Um. It's ok I guess. Not my taste." I told him.

"Hm. You suck." James started laughing. "Look we have an audience." He tilted his head and I followed to see that Jacob and Melissa were at the other side of the store. It looks like Melissa had all her attention trying to find something for herself, but Jacob looked at us dead on. He had this intense gaze not trying to keep his eyes off of us. Here we go again. "Let's make this interesting." James grabbed my hand and made it noticeable so Jacob could see. It looked like Jacob had this disgusted or pissed look. He then grabbed Melissa's hand and pulled her out of the store to her surprise.

I pulled my hand away and turned to James, "What was that for and why were you holding my hand?"

"I felt like since we had an audience that we should put on a show."

I started to get annoyed. "You think this is all just a game to you?"

"No, I don't think it's a game, but it's better than you two awkwardly staring each other for 20 minutes." James still smiling. "Plus, do you want him to see that you're miserable or would you want him to think that you got over whatever issue you two have?"

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever"

A few minutes later James got a phone call and he quickly dismissed himself. Saying that he had somewhere to go and swiftly walked off. I stayed at the mall still not wanting to go home and trying to enjoy some time by myself. I got hungry so I decided to grab a quick snack at the food court and just find a table to eat at. As embarrassing as it may sound I was really enjoying my food. Savoring every bite and closing my eyes as I hit every taste buds ecstasy; that until an uninvited guest sat right now to me.

"Hey Seth" Melissa greeted me.

Swallowing what was left in my mouth, "Um. Hi." I tried to be short with her; trying to make it obvious I didn't want her company. Can't I eat my food in peace?!

"Did you find anything you like?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

She started giggling. "What I meant was that did you find anything you'd like to buy since you're at the mall duh!" She quickly turned her head to glance at another direction for a second and made her hair swing to the side. Just by that I took a whiff of her sweet perfume involuntarily.

"No. Wasn't really here for that." I told her. Wasn't she with Jake? Just thinking about him just made me miss talking to him. I missed his smile and his laughter. Then I started to feel that emptiness he left me with and slowly my frustration was starting to lift. "So where's your other half?"

"My other half?" she looked confused.

"Your bread to your butter. The white to your rice. The ying to your yang. The peanut butter to your jelly."

She started playing with her hair and I can tell she still didn't understand what I was talking about. "Where's Jacob? Didn't you come with him?"

"Oh! haha yea, um. He...left."

"So he left you at the mall all by yourself?" I asked

She smiled and seemed amused. "I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself. Plus, I still had some more shopping left to do." she giggled some more.

"I'm sure you do" I rolled my eyes. When was she going to leave?!

She continued to smile at me, "So your sister tells me that your birthday is coming up? How old are you turning?" My eyes opened wide. I forgot all about that and why did my sister have to tell her. Not trying to make it obvious I tried to act as nonchalant as I can be.

"17" I answered

"Nice! So what are you going to do for your birthday?"

I looked at her up and down trying to figure out what she's getting from this. "I don't know. Leah's planning something" I'm still wondering why is she trying so hard just to be my friend. I've really been nothing, but a jerk to her at times and here she keeps coming back. I mean, if I were in her shoes, after a few times I would have gotten the hint already.

As much as I hated the situation, it's not her fault what Jake's decision was. She's not a bad person. She was actually acting as a friend. More than I can say about Jacob. Even with all the harsh things I've said to her during this past week, she is still trying to be a friend to me.

I wasn't really in the mood anymore to be here sitting with Melissa. So I excused myself and bid her farewell. I left her at the food court and I decided to start heading home. On my way home I started thinking on where I thought my life was headed. Still feeling lost I try to gather all my thoughts together. I still had a lot of growing to do and I need to figure out where to start out first. I've been avoiding my friends and that's not right. I've been making excuses to just not be around them. And where is that getting me? Nowhere. Next thing on my mind was my birthday. With everything that's been going on I almost forgot about my birthday. I don't even have an idea on what's Leah planning. She's always been the one to throw me something. Getting closer to my house I caught Jacob's house in the distance. I wonder if he even know my birthdays coming up. Will he even greet me? Will I see him on my birthday? A part of me wishes that I didn't even kiss him that night. I really do miss his company. I miss his friendship.

As I opened my front door to enter my house I notice Leah sitting in the living room on her laptop. She noticed my arrival and asked me to come join her.

"So I've been thinking about your birthday and I think we should throw a barbecue" Leah said. "It'll be great. How does that sound?"

"Sounds fun. How about mom and dad?" I asked

Leah smiles, "Well, this year they have a little surprise for you. They actually want to have a pre birthday dinner with the family. They said that they'll keep out of sight during the barbecue just as long as everyone will be on their best behavior and that we clean up after ourselves. I'll invite all the guys doesn't that sound great?!"

All the guys?! What does she mean all the guys? Even Jake?

"Yea..." I tried to sound convincing.

"So since that's planned the rest is going to be a surprise! Anyways, the guys are starting to wonder what's going on with you. They haven't see you and Jacob for a while."

"Nothings going on with me. I just have a big project that I'm putting my head into." I lied

"Still? That must be some project."

Trying not to make eye contact I looked away, "Yea, it's a big part of my grade."

"Well, since you're putting so much into it, I hope you get a good grade!"

"I hope so too." I said.

"I see that Melissa's been hanging out with Jake a lot lately. Have you heard anything about them?" my sister asked.

This was a subject I really didn't want to have. I kept my eyes on the walls. "I haven't really been able to talk to Jacob either. I've been so caught up that I haven't paid attention to them."

Leah closed her laptop and tried to get more comfortable on the couch, "Oh well. Maybe I should give a little push. They seem like they like each other. I mean if they didn't why would they be hanging out so much. Sure, I still see her at school and have some girl time with her, but just like I've been occupied with Paul she's been with Jacob."

"Leah, I really don't feel like it's your business. If they end up together then they should get together on their own time." Can't we just change the subject? "So, how are you and Paul?"

"Paul's been great." Leah chuckled and shrugged, "You know, I hope one day you can find a girl to make you as happy as Paul does with me." Leah was still all smiles.

"Yea, one day. Till that day comes I'm content on how things are right now." I told her

Leah scooted closer to me and laid her head on my shoulder. "You may say that, but things can get pretty lonely. I just want the best for you little brother."

"Thanks sis, I know. Hey I have the guys right?" I tried to lighten up the mood

Leah got back up and pushed my shoulder, "That's not the same. It's not like you can kiss any of them. Well at least most of them." She giggled. "So what's going on in your personal life? I feel like I haven't talked to you. I've missed you Seth. Other than you being busy with this project; I've been meaning to ask you if you were ok because you've looked sad lately."

Great, she's noticed. Maybe I should tell her? I mean she is my sister. She's family, but what if everything goes wrong? Should I just be like,_ I've kissed Jacob and now we aren't friends. I mean I told him that I couldn't be his friend because it's going to hurt having all these feelings for him. But really I didn't mean to not even try to socialize with me. I've been feeling lost and I don't even know who I am anymore._

Ok, I'm going to go for it! "Well..." I gulped. "Here's the thing.." I could feel Leah's intense stare at me just waiting for me to finish my sentence. I was starting to feel even more nervous.

"Are you getting sick?" Leah asked "Because you're starting to look like you're about to throw up."

"Um. Yea, I think I ate something bad earlier today." I lied again to her. I couldn't go through with it.

"Well there's medicine in the kitchen if you need any. Did you want me to make you some soup?"

I smiled at my sister and pulled her into a hug, "I'm ok, I think I'll just stick this one out. If I feel like I'm going to really need it, I won't hesitate to ask."

I let go of my hug and Leah grabbed my hands, "I love you Seth. I'll always be here for you just don't forget that ok? It may seem like I've been busy with Paul lately, but you'll always be my little brother." One day I'm going to tell her. Just not today.

We sat down and talked some more then my parents came and joined us in the living room. It was great to have all four of us in a room together. I love my family and it scares me to think that me telling them the truth about me can mean that I can lose them in a snap of a finger. I think that's what scares me the most.

A few days has past and things are still in the same pace. I try to say that I'm getting over Jacob, but Jasper knows when I'm lying. One day after school we were hanging out in Port Angeles because we wanted to be somewhere new. We were walking down a few shops and I noticed a music store. I didn't know how to play any instruments, but I've always secretly wanted to learn how to play the piano. Jasper noticed me looking through the window and pulled me into the store.

"Do you know how to play any instruments?" Jasper asked me. We passed by this keyboard and he lightly stroked the keys.

"No, but I've always wanted to learn how to play the piano." I confessed

Jasper looks at me and smiled "How come you never went for it?"

"It was more of a want than a need. I didn't feel right asking my parents to pay for me to learn a musical instrument."

"I love playing the piano. I can not explain the feeling of playing. Whenever I get stressed out or even just want to get away for awhile it seems like playing will always do the trick." Jasper seemed amused and get a small laugh. "You know when I was younger I would always force my family to listen to me play like I had my own little concert. Sometimes I would make my them pay me to play for them. I can't believe they actually did it." I smiled. I can totally see little Jasper putting on a show for his family.

"You seem very passionate about it." I told him and walked over to look over some music sheets. Looking at the music sheets I try to think about these notes actually sound like. Then I smirked getting embarrassed because I have no idea what it even means.

"That's true I am. What are you passionate about?" Jasper asked me sincerely

I looked at him, "I don't even know. I've been trying to figure myself out lately. You know I almost told Leah about me the other day? I got scared and I found an easy excuse out so I didn't tell her. I'm scared Jasper. What if my family hates me?"

He walked over to me and grabbed my arm to follow him. He led me into this room that had one big wooden piano. He took a seat and tapped the bench motioning me to sit down next to him. Just like that he started stroking each key and played something beautiful for me. I watched as his fingers would hit the keys. I looked over at his face to see that his eyes were closed, but he was smiling big. He finally stopped and his eyes opened to meet my eyes. "No one could ever hate you. Don't complicate things. Stop overthinking things in your head. Just let it be simple. Your family is going to love you no matter what."

I put my head down on his shoulder. "You're my best friend Jasper. Thank you. Can you play for me some more?"

With a simple request his fingers hit some more keys and I closed my eyes to imagine my life with no more complications. No more hiding. Just me. I kept my eyes closed and I just smiled. After Jasper finished playing we both headed out the music store and continued to walk down the street. We both started getting hungry so we both decided to eat at this Italian restaurant that we both passed earlier. Once we got in and took a seat at one of the booths I looked around and noticed that there weren't that many people in the restaurant. I took a look at their menu to see what I wanted to eat.

"See anything good?" Jasper asked as he put his menu down.

Still searching I shrugged and he gave out a smile, "I guess I'll just go simple. Spaghetti and meatballs for me."

Once the server came we both gave our order and started to wait patiently for our food to arrive.

Jasper cleared out his throat trying to get my attention. "I've been meaning to ask you, but don't take it as I'm starting an argument ok?"

"Ok, what's up Jaz?"

"I'm still trying to figure out why you even started hanging out with James. I get it. It's your decision on who you want to hang out with, but try to look at it from my point of view. I'm only trying to look out for you." Jasper said

Not really wanting to have this conversation I understand is worry, "I understand that you're just looking out for me, but to be honest there's nothing going on between James and I. He only is seeking out my friendship and that's all I'm willing to give him. Can you trust me on that?"

"I trust you completely Seth. It's him I have trouble with. I feel like he has some ulterior motive behind everything." Jasper said concernly

I looked into his eyes and I can see the worry, "Can we please not talk about him anymore please? I just want to have a good time with my best friend than have an awkward meal between us."

Just as I was saying that I didn't want to have an awkward meal I realised too late and that I was talking too fast. Not a second later Paul and Jake entered the restaurant and they spotted us. My eyes quickly focused on Jacob and in the same reaction both our eyes widened up. I gave a big gulp as they both started walking towards us. Turns out that they were around town to buy some car parts for Jacobs truck. Paul was actually doing most of the talking. They got hungry as well and decided to come in. Paul asked if they can actually join us and we really couldn't say no at this point. Paul then jumped to sit next to Jasper and that left Jacob to sit next to me. As Jacob sat next to me I also realised that the booth that we were sitting at was fairly small. So that really didn't leave any space between us as our legs were now touching. I looked over at Jasper and he can see the stress forming in my face. As Jacob and Paul were looking at the menu, Jasper sent me a quick text telling me to relax and act normal. I tried to get as comfortable as I can get in this uncomfortable situation. Our waiter came back to take the guys order and that left all four of us to talking again.

"Damn, it's been awhile that I've seen you two together in the same place!" Paul said smiling.

I can tell that Jacob was trying to shift over a little further, but there was no chance for that, "Uh, yea. Just been busy you know?" Jacob said. "Um. How have you been Seth?"

Surprised he even asked me something I didn't really know what to say other than, "fine."

I guess Paul can sense the awkwardness between Jake and I so he decided to speak up, "You guys need to loosen up! I swear just because we haven't hung around together in a while doesn't mean we have to start acting weird between one another."

"You're right sorry. Sorry, just have a lot on my mind." I said "How have you been Jake?"

"Oh you know. Same ol' same ol." Jacob now giving me a smile. It's been awhile.

"Now that's more like it." Paul said feeling like he won. Paul then started having a conversation with Jasper asking for some advice with my sister so that left Jacob and I out of the conversation.

As silence was once again taking over between Jacob and I his phone went off. I guess you can say that was the perfect excuse for him not to talk to me cause he was busy texting someone else on the other end. Not trying to make things noticeable I grabbed my phone to flip through my text messages pretending I got a text myself. I could here Jacob chuckling right next to me as if he read something was really funny. I shrunk down on my seat hoping this would be over soon.

Paul slammed his hands on the table causing all of us to jump and focus our attention to him. "Seth! You didn't tell me your birthdays coming up!" Oh great. All eyes on me now. I could see Jacob's facial expression like he was surprised and then shift his body towards mine. My cheeks were getting red and I didn't want all this attention on me.

"Um. Yea. Sorry. I didn't really feel like it was a big deal." I said

"Not a big deal?! You're our boy of course it's a big deal!" Paul now talking loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear. Jasper put his hand on Paul's shoulder to let him know that he was starting to talk a little too loud.

"Sorry" Paul chuckled. "I just meant to say that you shouldn't feel that way. The only reason I found out was because of your sister."

I looked down at my lap not wanting to look at anyone's eyes because it started to make me feel nervous.

Our meal went by as slow as it could have been. There wasn't much of any interaction between Jake and I other than the Hi's and How are you's. We finished up and Paul headed out the restaurant while Jake and Jasper sat around talking a little more. I'm relieved that this meal was done, but that didn't help me feeling any less depressed than how I already felt. I excused myself because I needed to use to restroom. To be honest, I just needed to get away from that small booth. I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic.

As I got in the restroom I went straight for the sink. I wanted to wash my face because my head had been feeling hot for the past hour. I bent down and cupped the water running in my hands. Splashed some water on my face and exhaled. I closed my eyes with water still running down my face. I leaned in towards the sink and rested my hands on the counter. My eyes were still closed when I heard the bathroom door open. Quickly getting my form back together I grabbed some paper towels so I can wipe down my face. Next thing I know, I was looking at myself at the mirror and surprisingly Jacob was standing next to me. We were now both looking at each other through the mirror. Nothing being exchanged from either of us. Just stares.

As I was looking at him I noticed his hands were in his pocket. I can see his chest rising up and down slowly. He looked nervous to be in here with me, but if he knew I was in the bathroom then why would he walk in? He slowly took a step closer to me and now we were both an inch apart. What was he doing? He leaned in towards me making our shoulders touch each other and with that I took my gaze off of him through the mirror and I turned my head to look directly into his eyes. Looking into his dark orbs I couldn't tell what he was thinking. He gave me a sideways smirk and softly said to me to, "Cheer up." As fast as those words came out of his lips; he turned around and walked right back out the bathroom.

Just as what Jacob was known for he left me in such confusion.


	9. Chapter 9

**Again, I would like to thank everyone for the reviews and the new follows. It really does motivate me to write more and I try to give you guys a little more that I can give. Hope you guys enjoy this next chapter! **

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Cheer up?! What was that suppose to mean? I haven't really talked to Jacob is almost 2 weeks and the only thing he tells me was to "Cheer Up"? As I was standing alone in the bathroom, I was left with even more questions. I started scratching my head thinking that it would help me figure out if that was some secret coding that he was trying to pass to me. I know I may be over analyzing things, but I couldn't help it. I started to pace around the bathroom walking in circles tapping my fingers to my lips. The more I try to think about what just happened, the more I started getting frustrated. The bathroom door opened once again and it startled me. I glanced over to look at some little kid walking pass by me to wash his little hands. This isn't the right place for this. I slowly walked out not really knowing what to expect.

I spotted Jasper waiting for me right by the bathroom door. I rushed over to him and grabbed his arms forcing him to follow me. I could feel a slight hesitation, but he quickly jerked away. I turned back to look at him with my eyebrows furrowed. He in return gave me the same look back, but was quickly transformed into a state of confusion.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked

"What's going on? You tell me what's going on." I said in a harsh tone. As we were standing near the halls of the restrooms the same little kid skipped right by us to join his family in one of the corner booths in the restaurant. Again, this wasn't the right place for this. "I need to talk to you." I stated, turned around and walked out of the restaurant. As I opened the restaurant doors a gush of wind slapped me in the face, but that still didn't seem to cool me down. I walked over to the parking lot and I can hear Jaspers footsteps following right behind me. Jasper now seeming frustrated too grabbed my shoulders forcing me to stop and look at him.

"Are you going to tell me what was that about?" Jasper saying in a solid tone.

I don't know why, but I couldn't help it. I just started yelling at him with tears rollings out my eyes. "What did you tell him?! What did you tell Melissa?! You had to right to tell either of them! You're suppose to be my best friend and not talk to others about my personal problem! Especially to the people who I'm least interested at the moment! Out of the blue Jacob comes into the restroom too and the only thing he say's is "Cheer Up." Seriously?! Seriously?! What the hell is that suppose to mean?! I haven't talked to him in so long and that's the only bullshit thing that comes out of his mouth?! Was it not enough for me to feel uncomfortable in there, but adding along to my misery and have him to come in the restroom too and seemingly mock my emotions?! What the fuck Jasper?!" With all this I had to say I started to feel light headed.

With all this being said Jasper was waiting patiently with his arms crossed just taking any heat that I was throwing at him. Not fazing him one bit. He tried to touch my hands, but I quickly jerked away and took a step back. I shook my head at him and he got the point. He bit his lip waiting for me to finish my rant. I could see that he was looking around to see if anyone was listening to me, but I was so focused on him I really didn't care if even Jacob was right behind me at the moment. As soon as I finished all Jasper said was, "Are you done?" in surprisingly a calm tone. I just stared at him. What else did he want me to say?

"What are you talking about?" Jasper asked again.

I closed my eyes to recollect myself and took a deep breath trying to calm down. I opened my eyes once again to see Jasper waiting for me to explain the situation. "Jake came in the bathroom and the one thing he said to me was to "Cheer Up". Have you told them anything I've been telling you?"

"What?" He looked at me with a puzzled face. "Why would you think that? I thought you would know me better?"

"I know you're my friend, but I don't know what to think when someone who I haven't spoken to in weeks all of the sudden comes up to me and tells me to cheer up."

Jasper just chuckled. "Maybe when he said to cheer up; it just meant to literally cheer up."

"I don't find this funny."

Annoyingly calm Jasper said, "Look I'm not talking to anybody about what you tell me. Especially the two people who I know you wouldn't want to know. Believe it or not, people know you've been looking depressed lately, but people just don't know how to come up to you. You're not the easiest person to talk to right now."

Feeling defeated I took a seat on the concrete with my face in my hands. "I'm sorry."

Jasper kneeled down right next to me and put a hand on my shoulder. He gave it a slight squeeze trying to comfort me. "I must admit it does seem suspicious, but I promise you I didn't tell him anything."

After all of that had happened, I asked Jasper to take me home because I became so exhausted. As I got home and laid into my bed all I was hoping for was a better day.

_Jasper and I decided to hang out at the carnival that just came to town. He wanted to keep my mind off things if only just for a little while. As we arrived in the parking lot we notice so many people here. Must be really popular. We started walking towards the ticket booth and I couldn't help, but get excited hearing all the rides whirling by. I could hear the little kids screaming with joy and someone in a distance puking from feeling sick coming off of a ride. I felt like a little kid once again and it made me smile._

_Once Jasper and I paid our way in we noticed Leah and Paul playing some games. It looked like they were having fun, but we didn't stop to say hello. Jasper grabbed my hand and he pulled me into a funhouse maze. I felt a little creeped out because I was all of the sudden surrounded in darkness. Jasper told me to don't worry and that he was right with me. I eased in a little trying to enjoy this dark environment. Laser lights started beaming everywhere. I looked around and it seemed like we were the only one in there. The flash of different colored neon lights amused me. Out of the blue, a cloud of mist started swirling around us like a thick fog coming in. One thing I did notice though, Jaspers hands never left mine. We then stepped into a hall full of mirrors. One made us look like we were big and the other made us look like a giant. We couldn't stop teasing each other and we were just full of laughter. Tears were once again starting to form in my eyes. Only this time they were tears of laughter._

_Jasper now let go of my hand and I turned to look at him, but he was gone. Where could he have gone in such a quick second? I walked down a small corridor and out of nowhere someone grabbed my hips and lifted me up. Out of surprise I started yelling only to receive nothing but laughter afterwards. I glanced back and to my relief it was only Jasper. Jasper once again held my hands smiling telling me to follow him._

_We finally got out of the funhouse only to walk around just a little bit more. A sound of a roller coaster filled the air and I was quickly searching for it like my life depended on it. After a few turns and a lot of people to walk through we finally found the line. We stood in line and it seemed like the line wasn't moving at all. I was starting to get impatient so I started to look around to see if I see anyone else I know. Through the large crowd I could spot Embry and Quil standing next to a food stand. Not surprised, Quil was stuffing his face while Embry hitting on some girls. Jasper pulled my hand to gain my attention to let me know that the line was finally moving once again. As we waited in line a bee started buzzing around Jaspers frizzy hair. As if someone pushed the slow motion button, I could see Jasper trying to dodge the bee. Even pulling the Matrix move, but failing to get back up and fell to the ground. Again, the air around us was filled with laughter._

_Once we got on the ride we started propelling up slowly. We can hear the clicking of the tracks slowly rise us up and Jasper sitting right next to me making funny faces to make me laugh some more. Before I can even notice we were at the top; I was suddenly taken out of breath when we zoomed our way down the first fall. The ride was filled with sharp turns, whip lashes, and my girly screams. All I can think of was this day was so perfect._

_We got off the ride with even more laughter. Looking at the picture of our faces during a snapshot of the ride. Priceless. I couldn't picture a pair of dudes looking even more uglier than we were. I suddenly heard the sound of ringing and laughter. I turned around to see that the games were right by us. Jasper and I walked over to look at the various games till I noticed a prize that caught my eyes. It was a cute little penguin._

_We stopped by a booth where you try to take down a stack of pins with a ball. I told Jasper that I really wanted the stuff animal and his eyes widened up and smiled. He started teasing me about the penguin, but I didn't care. I really wanted the penguin. I told him that I always thought penguins were cute. Their cute little walks and their badass tuxedo looking attire. With very little convincing, Jasper paid the guy at the booth and started throwing the set of balls given to him. I watched as he started throwing one set at a time. Next thing I knew he was already on the fifth set. I told Jasper to not worry about it and not to waste his money. Jasper just smiled at me telling me it's not wasted since the penguin was for me. I couldn't help but start blushing. I could see the twinkle in his eyes and he just winked at me. As he threw the next ball, slowly I can see the stack of pins that needed to go down finally fall. He had won me my penguin! I was so excited. I quickly grabbed him into a tight embrace._

_It felt strange hugging Jasper this time. Something wasn't familiar. I slowly let go of my hold and back way. When I looked up it wasn't Jasper I was hugging, it was James. Wasn't I here with Jasper? Was it James the whole time? I tried to recollect my thoughts about what seemed like the past hour and I could have swore it was Jasper. James quickly broke the silence between us and told me that we finally won the penguin. He pulled me into another hug and I could feel his excitement transferring into me. I let go of my thoughts and just went with the flow._

_We continued to walk around some more. Jokes flying between us; I was having so much fun. James noticed this artist that paints cartoon versions of you. We decided to get our drawing done. As we sat down the artist guy noticed that I was carrying the penguin around. He asked me if I liked penguins and James cut me off stating that I LOVED penguins. The artist then mentioned he thought we looked cute together. My eyes widened up to what he just said. We're just friends James telling him like he knew what I was thinking. The artist guy then replied back saying that it was too bad. I just shrugged it off and enjoyed the time being. When the drawing was finally finished I just started laughing because it was so cute. There was a giant penguin around James and I and it kind of looked like we were were floating on an ice plate with water splashing around us. Of course, he gave me and James giant heads, but that only added to the cute factor._

_I was now carrying not only the stuff penguin, but our rolled up drawing in the other hand. James asked if I was hungry and I replied back that I was starving. We grabbed some nachos and we devoured that poor piece of chips and cheese. I didn't know that I had some cheese on my cheeks, but James swiftly grabbed some napkins and wiped it off for me. He was actually being sweet instead of his usual forceful self._

_After we grabbed some smoothies James pointed at the ferris wheel asking me if I wanted to go for a ride. I've never really been on one so I said sure why not. The line once again was very long. Every now and then I would notice James trying to look around as if there was something he was looking for. I tried to see what he was looking at, but to me I couldn't spot anything that was unusual. When we finally got to the carriage I could hear the squeaks from the others all around us. James whispered into my ear assuring me not to be afraid and that he was there with me. I took a deep breath and stepped into and took a seat next to James. As we slowly raise up, our carriage started swinging slightly back and forth. Unconsciously, I grabbed James hand and held it tight. I could hear him laughing lowly besides me. It was getting dark and we got to the top of the ride at the perfect time. We had an amazing view of the sunsetting. It was perfect. James softly called my name and I turned my head towards him. Before I knew what he was doing I felt his lips on mine. I didn't know how to react, but let the moment take over. I felt my eyes start to close like drapes closing after a concert that had played. I was trying to breath in the moment when I smelled something too familiar to ignore. As our lips drifted apart I slowly opened eyes trying to refocus on the person in front of me. As my eyes started to focus I could tell that shape forming wasn't James at all. It was Jacob. My eyes widened up and cheeks flushed. Jacobs reactions was just a smile. I now noticed that I was holding Jacobs hands and his thumb was tracing a shape on the inside of my palm. I looked down and I realised that he was tracing the shape of a heart. I looked back into Jacob's eyes and I noticed the way he was looking at me. It was the same look he had when we were at the bonfire. Stuck into each others gaze he gave a chuckle. Jacob placed his hand on my cheek and he noticed my eyes starting to fill. He told me "Baby, I hope those are tears of joy because I never want to be the reason for your sadness". As I leaned towards to kiss my Jake again the air was filled with an annoying, obnoxious ring. What the hell was that noise?!_

I opened my eyes again to realise that everything was pitch black. It was another damn dream. I felt trapped underneath something warm. Groaning I tried to slip my way out of whatever I was under. I started laughing to find out that I was stuck underneath my sheets. I heard the ringing once again and I noticed that it was coming from another room. It was probably Leah's alarm clock. Exhaling I rubbed my hands on my face trying to wake myself up. I looked at my bedside clock and saw it was 9am. I got into a panic and quickly jumped off of bed. Trying to multi task to take off my shirt I accidently bumped my toes on my dresser and screamed in pain. I fell straight to the floor. It hurt so much. My mom rushed into my room in panic to see if I was ok.

"Honey what happened?" My mom asked as she came closer to me. She kneeled next to me starting to rub my back to comfort me.

"Yea, I'm sorry. I accidently bumped my toes on my dresser." My mom took a look at my toes and started rubbing it to make it feel better. "Thank you mom. I have to go and get ready for school now."

My mom smiled at me and pulled me into a hug. "Oh honey, it's Saturday. There's no school today."

What a relief. At least I didn't oversleep. My mom left me in my room and told me that she was going to start on breakfast. I finally got back up, but I can still vaguely feel the pain in my toes. The sun was shining through my windows. I walked towards my windows so I can open it to let some fresh breeze to come in. The sudden rush of wind comes into my room. I noticed someone running towards my house direction. Looks like someone woke up early for a morning jog. As the person came closer, I realised that it was Jacob. He was getting closer running on the sidewalk and it looked like he was slowing down to catch his breath. Surprisingly, he stopped right in front of my house and looked up towards my window. Our eyes locked and his eyes widened in surprise. He quickly took off running. That was weird. I shrugged it off and headed downstairs to have breakfast. I got to the kitchen to see my mom making eggs. My dad followed in behind me and we both took a seat at the table together.

"Seth, don't make plans tonight. We're taking you out for an early birthday dinner." My dad informed me.

"Aw thanks dad!" I said

My mom walked over to the table and placed some toasted slices of bread down. I got back up and grabbed some cups and oj so we can have something to drink during our meal. I sat back down at the table when Leah came and joined us. I laughed seeing her hair all messed up. A part of her hair still sticking up. I guess she didn't take a look at her self at a mirror before coming down.

"What's so funny squirt?" Leah asked coldly. I just smirked and shook my head. I'll let her look like a clown for a little while. She squinted her eyes giving me a dirty look. She grabbed a slice of toasted bread not letting her eyes leave me. "So how's la familia doing this morning?" Finally leaving her gaze off of me.

My mom turned around and giggled a little. "Sweetie, maybe you should go fix your hair unless that's the new in thing you kids are doing these days." With that being said, Leah shot me another dirty look and stormed out the kitchen. "Give your sister a break Seth. You know she's not a morning person." I put my hand up to show my surrender and to let it go.

When Leah finally returned she looked in a little more friendly mood. "I'll get you back" Leah said as she kicked me under the table.

"Kids calm down." My dad finally speaking up. "Can we just have a meal together without you two messing with each other?"

"Oh dad. You know me and Sethy. We always kid." Leah looked down at her lap, but slowly tilted her head so she can eye me.

I rolled my eyes and tried to turn my attention at the food being brought to the table. "Thanks mom. Breakfast looks AMAZING!" My mouth started watering as my mom put a big pile of pancakes on the table.

My mom gave me a big smile and sat down with us. "Ok so your dad and I have a surprise for you Seth, BUT...I hate to say this." She giggled. "You'll just have to wait and see." I hate secrets. Especially ones that are being flaunted right in front of me. I guess I'll just have to play this game with them.

The rest of breakfast went by with some more laughs. My parents told me to make sure I was home by 5 today because we were all going to dinner together. I still didn't know what I was planning to do today, but I guess I'll see where things go. I laid lazily around the living room till Paul sent me a text. I checked my phone to see what he had to say. All he said was to be ready in 30 minutes and that he's picking me up. I sent him another text asking him why. He replied back saying no questions just get ready. I groaned and I made my way back to my room to get ready.

Paul wasn't kidding; exactly 30 minutes later he called me telling me that he was right out front. I ran my way down knowing Paul and his impatience. As I opened my front door I see that he was parked in my driveway and there was already another person in the car with him. As I got closer to the car my eyes went straight to see who was in the passenger seat. It was Jacob.

"Hurry your ass up and stop snailing around!" Paul yelled out of the driver side window.

I quickly entered the backseat of the car and before I can even put my seatbelt on Paul already hit the gas.

"Can I get my seatbelt on first Paul?"

"You're moving too slow" Paul said as he looked at me through his rear view mirror.

"So are you finally going to spill why you kidnapped us?" Jake finally speaking. He was looking right out of his window. I could see that he was playing with his fingers on his lap. Was he nervous?

Paul started laughing. "It's not kidnapping when you two voluntarily came into my car." He elbowed Jake which made him turn to look at Paul. "Look, as you guys know. We all have been busy doing our own things. I just figured for once we all just hang out at the pool hall. All together in one place you know?"

"So you planned all this yourself?" I asked Paul finally putting my voice into this conversation as well. I started grabbing the handles near me as Paul would just weave in and out of traffic to get to our destination faster. No wonder I never felt comfortable in a car with him. It's like having your life flash before you in every turn.

He looked at me through his rearview mirror once again. "Not entirely. Embry and Quil helped too. C'mon! Ask yourselves when was the last time we all hung out?! Even Edwards going to be there. I know I've been caught up with Leah so I understand that I haven't really been around as well. Jake you've been too busy all tied up with Melissa so we haven't got a clue to even know what's going with you. Seth, you're all consumed into your school project that you're starting to look all depressed about it. We all see you walking around school all slouching and walking all slow like someone killed your dog." I looked at Jacob and he just looked down. I gulped and shook my head because that was nowhere near what was going on with me.

We drove into the pool house parking lot to see that Jasper and Edward was already there. As we parked right next to them I can see that Jasper was talking to Edward about something or maybe even teasing him because the brothers were in constant laughter. "What are we missing?" Paul asked them when he opened his door.

Jasper put his hand on Edward's hair and messed it up. "I was just teasing Edward on how pussy whipped he is with Bells." We all started laughing. "From the looks of it you're not too far off from where Edward is Paul", this time Paul wasn't the one that was laughing.

"Ha-Ha very funny!" Paul said sarcastically. "So did anyone hear from Embry and Quil?"

"Yea, Embry text me saying that they were down the street. He said to grab a table and they'll just meet us inside." Edward said.

With all of us standing in the parking lot catching up I have to agree with Paul. It has been a while that all of us hung out. I think the last time we all hung out together was when I first moved here and that was already a few months ago. I laughed to myself lost in my own thoughts till I felt someone lightly push my shoulders. I turned to see Jasper was right behind me tilting his head gesturing for us to move forward.

We got in and I see Paul talking to one of the workers. I notice Edward and Jacob already found a table for us. Jasper squeezed my shoulders and told me that everything was going to be ok. I agree. I think it's all going to be ok. I took a seat nearest to the table and I noticed Jacob and Edward grabbing a pool stick and examining each one till one suited them. Jasper patted my back telling me he had to use the restroom real quick. I just nodded and as he left Paul took his place.

"Man, this is great. All of us guys hanging out together." Paul stating. A few seconds later we can hear Embry coming through the front doors. He was always the loud one. As the two reached us Embry went straight towards Jake and Edward while Quil took a seat next to me.

"I'm starving." Quil now looking through the pool house menu. I took a look at him and I chuckled. Then I came to realise something. Since I've been hanging out with them. Quil was always the quiet one. Never really had an in depth conversation with him. Though it doesn't seem like he's the type to even have one. "Oh these wings look good" I could see the drool coming out of his eyes. One thing I know for sure is that this boy can eat.

"What have I missed?" Jasper asking as he took a seat next to me as well. Paul was now joking with Edward and I see the guys all laughing a few feet away from us.

"Nothing really." I said. "Anything good to eat Quil?"

"Wings and fries! Did you want some?" Quil responded

"Yea order us both! Can you get us a drink too?" Jasper telling Quil. Quil just nodded and left us as he walked towards the counter. "So how you feeling buddy?" Jasper asked me once we were finally alone.

"I'm ok. It's nice to be out with the guys. Paul was right, it's been a long time." As I was talking to Jasper the other guys have already started playing a game. I see that Paul and Jacob were playing against Embry and Edward. They were talking shit to each other like guys would do in a game. I just laughed. I took a look around the pool house to notice that this place was covered in mirrors.

Quil finally came back from putting in our orders and started laughing to see how intense the game was looking. "Oh man, they're really going at it"

"Hey Quil, I haven't really talked before. How are you?" I asked Quil

Quil just looked at me and just shrugged. "Nothing really. Just your average teenager waiting for high school to be over."

Jasper leaned in and whispered into my ear saying, "Quil doesn't talk much. He's more of an observer than a talker." I looked over at Jasper and looked back at Quil. James was an observer too. I started to wonder what has he noticed.

Quil gave me a weird look. "What are you looking at?"

Surprised I composed myself. "Nothing. You intrigue me."

"How so?" Quil leaning forward interested in my statement.

"You don't talk much, but I have a feeling you notice a lot of things."

Quil smiled and then smirked. "That is true my friend. I have a hunch on things, but I can be wrong." He turned to put his attention back to the game. What does he mean by that? I just shook my head didn't want to ponder more about it.

We were watching the boys go full force with the balls. One after another we hear the sound of balls clashing with one another. To say they were pro's at playing pool would be a total lie. They sucked. Every other move one team would accidently touch the other teams ball. Or even jump the cue ball off of the table. This game was a mess. If you were watching this, you couldn't help but laugh.

In the middle of the intense game Jacob and Paul were standing only a few steps away waiting for their turn, but their back were towards us. Paul started teasing something about Jacob and I started to become curious so I tried to listen to the conversation as much as I can.

Paul shoved Jake to get his attention. "So are you finally going to fess up and tell me that you're with Melissa?"

Jacob started laughing. "There's nothing going on man."

"I smell bullshit! There is no way you are hanging out with her all this time and you can't tell me you're not hitting that." Ugh. Paul talks such like a dude. I rolled my eyes at the thought of anything like that going on between Jake and Melissa. I feel a cold chill coming down my spine.

"You don't smell shit because there's nothing going on." Jacob pushed Paul back.

"Then why spend all this time with her?!"

At this moment for some reason I began to look at one of the mirrors across from us only to see that Jacob had his eyes on me this whole time through the reflection. As he noticed that I caught his gaze he only smiled and then blushed. "Aw look at you blushing. That's so cute! Jakey is blushing!" Paul said teasingly. Was he blushing because of me?

Jacob still keeping his gaze on me not letting a second pass by. "Her personality reminds me of someone." He chuckles. "I love that part about her."

"Aw please don't tell me you're not talking about the girl from New York!" Paul said surprisingly. I quickly glanced at Paul and looked back at Jake.

Jacob just laughed it off and shook his head finally taking his eyes off of me. "You're stupid! Of course not! Shut up now. It's my turn." He walked towards the table and leaned in to find a good shot.

Our food arrived at our table and Jasper, Quil, and I started devouring our food. Every now and then one of the other guys would come by the table and grab some fries without asking. Paul grabbed my drink and took a sip and I just looked at him like he was enemy number one. Paul just laughed it off and told me to get over it. I grabbed my phone from my pocket so I can look at the time to see if it was nearly time to go home. It wasn't time yet, but instead of putting it back into my pocket I just left it on the table next to me.

I turned around to see Jasper was on his phone then turned the other way to find Jacob right next to me grabbing some of Quil's fries. It was like the god of time was not on my side. Right at this moment my phone screen turned on to let me know that I recieved a text message from James. My eyes widened. Wrong timing. I didn't know why, but I looked up to look at Jacob's face and I noticed he looked down to see James name flash on my cell phone screen. His eyes squinted and I can tell his jaw was tightening. I quickly grabbed a fry and turned around. He was upset. His form changed from being relaxed to his body becoming stiff. Jacob walked back over to the pool table with his back turned towards me again. I let out a sigh. I grabbed my phone to see that James was just asking what I was doing. I replied back saying I was hanging out with the guys and that I'd talk to him later. This time instead of leaving it back on the table I swiftly put it back into my pocket so I can prevent that from happening again.

It was another half an hour till the game was finally over. Jacob and Paul won the game and that led to them teasing Edwards and Embry. After the James text incident Jacob didn't bother to look at me for the rest of the time we were all out together. I got a sudden feeling of something I've grown accustomed to lately. Sadness. Why does he make me so weak?

Jasper noticed what had happened and he kept trying to cheer me up, but this time none of his words was able to get through to me. I excused myself from everyone and decided that I wanted to get some fresh air alone. The day was seemingly fine until I got that text from James. Why does James upset Jacob so much?

A few minutes later I heard the sound of the guys coming out of the pool hall. I tried quickly to gather myself up so no one would see how bothered I was. Of course, mostly everyone didn't notice other than Jasper. Seems like the Edwards time hanging out with the boys was running short because Embry was teasing Edward that Bella has him in a short leash. Edward just shrugged it off and told Embry he's just jealous because he has a girl. Everyone in the group started laughing. I received a text from Leah telling me to that I had to go home so I can get ready for dinner. Since Edward and Jasper were going to leave soon I asked Jasper if he can take me home.

****On our way to my house I couldn't help, but think of how much of a great time I had with the guys. The difference between me and Jake shouldn't come in between me and the other guys. I missed all of their friendships as well. Matter of fact, they were the one to accept me when I just moved here. As much as I need to work on myself; I also need to work on my relationship with friends. They may not know everything that's going on, but when it comes down to it I feel like they will always be there to help carry me every step back.


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm so sorry for the long update! I hope I didn't loose any followers and I greatly appreciate everyone's reviews and PM's. I was going through something really heavy personal things and things just barely started getting better. So for my apology I give you this extra long chapter :) I can't promise the next update will be soon, but I can promise you wouldn't have to wait as long. **

**Warning - this chapter does have some violence on it. Please, please, please review and give me feed backs because I love hearing your thoughts :) **

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My body was in so much pain. What just happened? The last thing I remember was me and my best friend Anthony laughing and having a good time at the back seat of his mom's sedan. I tried to look around. Things didn't look and feel right. Everything was upside down. I was feeling around to realize that I was being held up by something rough. I tried to get my vision back in order, but everything was spinning. My head was throbbing in pain. I could hear screaming outside of the car, but I couldn't see anyone. There was smoke building up and it was getting harder to breathe. I tried to break loose from whatever was keeping me up, but I couldn't. Fuck! My head. I tried to touch my temple, but as soon as I touched it I felt a burning sensation overcome me. I quickly took a look at my hand, it was covered in blood. I started to panic. I tried screaming for help, but my voice was gone. Then Anthony came to the forefront of my thoughts. Where was he? I tried to look to my side to see if he was still there. As I turned my vision started to give up on me. Next thing I know, everything became dark.

When I finally opened my eyes again everything was so bright. I could see that there was a machine next to me beeping. Some tubes were tied to me. I was laying down on some bed. This isn't my bed. Where am I? Then it hit me. The pain was so unbearable. I started to scream. I was in so much pain. Not a second later people came running into the room I was in. Who are they? Then out of the crowd, I found my sister slicing through them and after her my parents. They looked like they hadn't slept in a while. My mom ran over to grab my hand and she was crying and my dad quickly stood behind her looking at me with so much worry. I was so confused. Then I felt Leah sit on my bed. She was rubbing my leg and it looked like she's been through hell and back. A man wearing an all white coat came walking next to where I was laying and pressed something. I looked into his eyes and all I could see was all the hope in his blue eyes. Things became dizzy. The darkness took over again.

When I finally woke back up again things were a little different. The lights weren't as bright. I felt something or someone holding my hand. I looked over and I see that Leah was right next to me holding my hand. She was sitting in a chair next to me with her head on my bed. It looked like she was sleeping. I tried to move a little bit, but it was so hard to even move. I grunted a little bit because I was still in pain. Leah quickly shot up. I smiled a little seeing that she had a little drool coming down her mouth. She smiled back at me and wiped herself clean. Then her eyes started watering as she started rubbing my arms.

"Leah, why are you crying?"

I could see the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Because I'm so happy". I could feel her hand that was holding my hand was starting to shake. "You were out of it for a few weeks now." She got up and leaned over to give me a hug. "I was so scared...that I...was going to...lose you."

"Where's mom and dad?"

"I made them go home. They've been here for days now not sleeping. So I told them I'd call them if anything new happens."

I began to feel uneasy. "What do you mean lose me? What happened?" Leah let go of me and sat back down to the chair next to me.

"You don't remember?" Leah asked with worry. I lightly shook my head. She gave out a long exhale and her eyebrows furrowed. There was fear in her eyes.

"You, Anthony, and his mom were on your way to Disneyland. Then you guys got into a car accident."

My eyes opened wide in horror. I tried to get up, but I couldn't I felt so weak. "Where's Anthony?! Where's his mom?! Are they ok?!"

Leah didn't answer me, but her silence told me everything. She continued to cry and shook her head. "They didn't make it Seth."

My body felt heavy. I didn't want to hear that. I started crying too. "It's all my fault."

"It's not your fault Seth. Don't you ever say that." Leah was rubbing my arm once again.

I turned my head to the other side so she couldn't see me. It was my fault. I tried to recall the the weeks before the car accident. Anthony was my best friend. He was around my height with short brown hair. He'd always were these 3D glasses with the lenses popped off. Saying that he was Harry Potter. I would just laugh and shake my head at him. He was always smiling. His smile was so contagious. We would always talk about how we would always be there for each other. He'd always have my back and vice versa. I remember a time when we were younger and these kids were trying to bully me. As I was being pushed to one bully to another; out of nowhere Anthony popped out and started wildly swinging and screaming at the other kids. We were the same height, but at that time he looked a few feet taller than me. We totally got our assed served to us, but after all said and done we were just laying there laughing. That's how it went for the next few years of our friendship. Though we weren't related; I felt like we were brothers. We were family. It was only his mom and him because his dad left them when he was younger. His mom was friends with my parents and they would always come over. We would always play little pranks on my sister. When she found out it was us she started running after us like it was an episode of Tom and Jerry.

One day Anthony and I were discussing what I wanted to do on my 13th birthday. My birthday. That's what caused this. It was all my fault. He was talking about it would be cool to go to this place called "Johns Incredible Pizza", but I told him I wanted to go to Disneyland. We would argue and point out the pro's and con's about which place was better. We even set up a meeting with our parents to like we were some kind of business trying to sell one of our products. At the end we ended up going to Disneyland.

Anthony and I couldn't sleep that night because we both were too excited. We got online to take a look at the park map and started to map out our day. We were going to each some churros first and start riding some of the rides. Then after that we would take pictures with as much characters as we can. I would also get one of those birthday pins to wear proudly around the theme park. When the morning came we were already dressed waiting impatiently for everyone to be ready. Leah would tease us that if we wouldn't stop moving that we wouldn't be able to leave anymore. As kids we believed her so we just sat down in the patio waiting. We were talking about how much fun we were going to have. We all couldn't fit in one car so we decided to take two. My parents and Leah in one, while Anthony and I in another. We were thinking about the new ride that just opened and joking around that the other would pee their pants. I looked behind us to see that my parents and Leah were just behind us. That was the last thing I remember.

I turned around to look at Leah who was still rubbing my arm. "If it wasn't for my birthday they would still be alive. It's all my fault!" I lost it. I couldn't stop crying now.

After that every time when my birthday was coming around I never had a desire to celebrate it. Leah would always take it upon herself to make sure that I would have a good time. There was even a time when no one showed up for one of my birthday party, but that didn't stop her from cheering me up.

I mean after Leah's famous words, "Fuck them". We would just set off and do something ourselves.

I looked outside the window as Jasper and Edward was taking me home. Taking a look into what just happened at the pool hall I couldn't feel any worse. I wanted Jacob back into my life, but him being hot and cold I just don't know how to approach things. I missed my best friend.

When we finally reached my house I could see Leah pacing back and forth on our driveway. I grinned when I noticed that she was wearing heels. Paul really did a number on her. Never in my life would I think that Leah, my sister, would ever show a little bit of feminism in her. When she realized that we were there she stopped and put her hands on her waist tapping her heels now.

I bid Jasper and Edward goodbye and they told me to have a good time with my family tonight. Before I could even turn around I felt Leah grab me by ears and start dragging me into the house. Jasper and Edward hasn't even drove off yet and I could see that they were laughing inside the car. My face was burning red as I walked into my house in embarrassment.

"What took you so long?! You know we were having dinner tonight" Leah telling me as she let go of my ear.

I rubbed my ear to ease out the pain and just smiled at her. She gave me her best "What the fuck" look, but that didn't scare me away. I walked towards her and just gave her a hug. She let out a grunt and hugged me back. "I love you too squirt."

"Seth you're home" I heard my mom say behind me. "Sweetie, hurry up and get dressed. We have reservations in half an hour."

I quickly ran upstairs and looked into my closet to see what I should wear for dinner tonight. Did I want to wear a tie or bow tie? Or should I just go simple with a just a long sleeve? Slacks or jeans? So much to think from, but so little time. One by one I would take my clothes out of my closet and look in front of the mirror to see if this shirt would look ok with these pants. I finally decided to just wear some khakis with a black buttoned down shirt. As I finished getting ready I looked at myself again. I shrugged at myself. This is the best that it's going to get.

I looked outside my window to see that my parents were already waiting for me in the car. Leah was standing outside the door on the phone; probably talking to Paul. I glanced at Jacob's house and noticed that he just arrived home. I sighed. This wasn't the right time for that. I made my way downstairs and out the front door with Leah already on her way to the car. I could see the sun was already coming down illuminating the sky with a vermillion color which I thought looked beautiful. I got into the car and we quickly departed our house.

"So where are we going?" I asked everyone

My mom turned around and giggled a little bit. "Well, Leah has been telling your dad and I about this Thai restaurant in Port Angeles so we decided to try that out. We know how much you love Thai." My mom giggled some more and turned back around. She and my dad started talking about something lowly to which I couldn't really hear. I got so excited as my mouth started to water. The last time I remember eating anything oriental was back when we were in Los Angeles. I gave a huge grin.

I turned to Leah to see she was playing with her phone. I gave her a nudge. "How'd you find out about this place?"

Leah took her eyes off her phone and gave me her attention. "Paul took me there one night. It was quite funny actually. I got mad at him one night he was taking me out to dinner. He couldn't find a place for to eat. You know me when I get hungry." She laughed and smiled at the thought. "Anyways, at first he wanted to take me to this buffet, but he didn't know that place actually shut down. We drove around for about another hour till I was starting to get cranky. We stopped at red light and I just decided to get out the car without telling him. I guess he pulled over and parked trying to catch up with me. One thing led to another while we were arguing and I poured some random guy's water on him then he noticed this little Thai restaurant in a corner. He suggested it and I just walked towards the restaurant without even talking to him. The food's really good there." She continued laughing after telling her story.

"You two are something." I laughed with her. "So where did that guy come from?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I saw him walking towards us bopping his head listening to some Miley Cyrus tunes and I noticed he was holding a water bottle" My eyes widened as I tried to picture this whole scene happening. She pushed me gently. "What?! You know I wear the big pants in the relationship"

I shook my head. "Oh great, let me know when Paul gets them back."

"Um. Yea. That won't happen."

We continued driving some more when I recieved a text message from Jasper. He was wondering how was dinner, but we haven't reached our destination yet. So I replied back that we weren't eating yet. He then sent another to let him know how the food was.

We stopped at a red light when we saw 2 guys holding hands walking in front of us. Aw, they looked so cute and happy together. They were just laughing; I guess cracking jokes to one another.

"I'm so glad I don't have to deal with 'them' in my house." My dad quickly said. My eyes quickly turned to look at my dads reflection in the rear view mirror. He had this disgusted look. I turned to look out my window as I slowly sank into my seat.

"Dear, that's not really nice." My mom tells him.

"That's just not normal."

"What's not normal. Love is love." my mom replied back.

The light finally turned green and we passed the same sex couple. "Yes, love may be just love. But that's not how I view things and that's not how I raised my kids." I could see my dad tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

"You know our son has a gay friend right?"

My dad sighed, "Seth." I looked right back at him, "I'm glad you're finally making friends again. I know how hard it is for you to even socialise with new people. Especially, you know, with some prior events that I don't really want to get into. I'm not saying that I don't approve of it. I'm saying that I'm glad you're not one of them." He said it so aggressively and matter of fact. I felt like crap. I didn't know what to say or do other that just nod my head at him. I looked back right out the window as we continued to drive towards the restaurant.

Dinner was actually really nice. The food was great. I had a really nice time with my family even with the prior incident that happened before arriving at the restaurant. My favorite was the pad thai. I was able to get my mind off a few things during our meal. Other than having conversations with my family; dinner was pretty uneventful.

When we finally got home my dad called me into the living room. I was getting pretty nervous because he had a certain tone in his voice that's only reserved for whenever my sister or I were in trouble. I sat down on the couch and Leah sat down right next to me. It felt weird. She grabbed my hand and had a huge grin on her face. I looked over to my parents who now took a seat comfortably on the other couch facing towards us. I started to feel chills. What was going on?

"So Seth. You're turning 17 this year. I still remember when you started learning how to walk." My dad started laughing and my mom giggling right next to him. Oh god. I could tell where this was going. I was starting to get embarrassed. "You were...special. You never liked to wear any pants or even your diapers. If it was up to you, you'd be walking around naked everywhere." He turned to my mom "Honey, do you remember that one time at the park he was with Anthony? Seth, you convinced your best friend that you had a special ability and that you can turn invisible. You told Anthony that he can be invisible as well as long as both of you were naked and he had to be only an arm's distance away from you. Oh boy, I remember all the parents facial expressions watching 2 kids running around the park naked." I missed Anthony. Why did they have to bring him back up?

Leah tried to join in on the fun. "How about that one time I convinced him that he can fly as long as he his special cape on."

I pushed her, "That's not really funny Leah."

"Oh my god! Why not?!" She was starting to laugh

"Because I broke my arm"

"Only because you jumped off our roof!" She fell to the ground laughing now. Tears were starting to form in her eyes. I just shook my head at her. "Seth, you were sure gullible back then."

I rolled my eyes back at her and focused my attention back at my parents. "Anyways" my dad said, "The point is that with time passing up, you're growing up. You're going to be taking your driving test soon and with that you're going to need some wheels." My dad reaches inside his pocket and takes out a key. My eyes stay strained to his hands and then he tosses it to me. I grab it before it can hit me on the face. I opened my hands to look at the key I just caught. Then I looked right back up to my parents with a questionable face.

"What is this?"

My mom chuckles some more. "What do you think it is honey?" I looked over at Leah with a grin still on her face.

I looked at the keys again, it looked like a car key. "Is this for a car?"

My dad just nods. "You're mom and I decided that it's time for you to have a car. It's nothing fancy. A good starter car."

"Paul already took a look at it and made sure the oil is changed. The engine is in good shape so it shouldn't give you any trouble." Leah added.

"Did you guys really get me a car?!" I was so ecstatic.

"It's yours WHEN you pass your test." My dad said. I couldn't hold myself. I jumped off the couch and went to hug both my parents.

I couldn't hide the smile that was plastered on my face even if I wanted to. "Thanks Dad, Mom. You guys are the best!"

Leah cleared her throat. "How about me?! I was the one pushing for you to have one" I looked over to her and I walked over to her. I reached my arm out and pulled her up into a hug.

"Thanks big sis", I whispered into her ear. We were wrapped around in each others arms for a good minute.

Leah finally pulled out of the hug, "Glad you love it. Anyways, tomorrow's your birthday and your barbeque so it's going to be a long day"

I found out a few minutes later that my actual car wasn't home, but at Paul's house because they didn't me to find out. Paul was going to drive it over the next day and show me around the car. This was such an amazing present.

After receiving my present I went to my room to just stared at my car key. I laughed to myself. It's not like me staring at it for a long period can make the car come to me. Then a thought came to me. This would have been a perfect moment to share with Anthony. He was my best friend and he would been so happy for me. Then it hit me.

'Anthony would have been happy for me'

I smiled as my a tear slid down my cheeks. He may not be here anymore, but he'll always be in my heart.

I quickly grabbed my phone because I wanted to tell everything that just happened to Jasper. When he answered I didn't even miss a beat. I didn't even give him a chance to speak. It was actually funny. When he would think I was about to finish my sentence I would cut him off with how I couldn't wait to see my car or that Paul was driving it to my house tomorrow. Just like I expected Jasper was happy for me as well.

The next morning didn't come fast enough. I was up by 7am and that was not normal in my book, but I couldn't help it. I had already received numerous text messages from family and friends greeting me a happy birthday. I was excited. Yes, I wouldn't be able to drive it till I get my license, but having it here at my house was all the inspiration I needed. Paul arrived an hour later calling me on my phone letting me know he was right outside. Since I have been awake for an hour already I was already up and ready to run outside. As I opened my front door, I noticed a white car sitting in my driveway. Even though my dad said that it was just a nice starter car I couldn't help but think it was nothing else but perfect. Paul showed me around the car. It was quite roomy inside. He opened the hood and he showed me how to check the oil and other necessary stuff I needed to know.

"So how do you like your car?" Paul asked me as he closed the hood of the car.

"I love it."

Paul laughed and put his hand on my shoulder, "Happy Birthday buddy" He turned around to take a seat on my car hood. "Look Seth I wanted to talk to you."

"Sure what's up Paul?" I asked and took a seat next to him.

"We're friends right?"

This was a weird question for him to ask. "I thought so yea"

He just smiled, looked down, and shook his head. "That came out wrong. Um. Anyways, I should have asked you if it was ok for me to date your sister before actually trying to pursue her and I'm sorry if it came out of left field. You're sister..." He released out a deep breathe. "Your sisters amazing. I just wanted to let you know that. She's not intimidated of me or even try to put on this pretty girl front. She is how she is and honestly...that's what I love about her." I was still trying to figure out where is he going with this.

Paul turned his head towards me again. "Your sister can be closed off at times and there are times she can be...um. What's the right word for this. I guess you can say, difficult. I'm trying to understand her, but there are things as what I said she doesn't want to tell me. Especially if I try to bring out her past. I promise you that I'm not trying to play her wrong man, but what else can I do to prove to her that I'm all for her and I only want to make her happy. I just feel like she's hiding something from me. I'm trying to open up to her, but when I try to have her open up to me it just ends up us getting into an argument."

I smiled at Paul. He was very genuine. A side I rarely see come out of him. I don't really know what I was about to say to him, but I know that he wouldn't hurt my sister. "I shouldn't really be telling you this because if she knew she would probably kill me and as a resort of you knowing she'd probably kill you too." We both laughed because we knew how true my statement was. "I don't know if she ever told you, but you're basically the second guy she's ever dated."

"Yea, she's mentioned it, but she doesn't talk about the first guy at all. I mean that should be a good thing, but I want to know her story." He chuckled. "I know that sounds lame, but I want to know all of her. I want to know why she is the person she is right now. I know everyone doesn't have a perfect past. Hell, look at me. I was in and out of juvie when I was a kid. I hung out with the wrong crowd. That was until I met Jake and the guys. Then I started changed and I guess you can say for the better. Point is that I know what I have in front of me and that's your sister, but I want to know how she got there. Um. I don't even know if that made any sense." He started laughing now.

I gulped. "Hmm...yea you're right and I see where you're coming from. There's a reason for her being so closed off. Sam. That was his name. They dated for a long time. Yea, they were happy, but what he did broke her and her trust for other guys. There was a time I thought she was going to go lesbian on us. Anyways, it was during the summer and our family went out fishing one weekend. We actually came home earlier than we expected. Sam didn't live too far away from our house back in Los Angeles. I guess a few blocks the most. She walked towards his house and not even a half an hour later she came running back in crying. She wouldn't come out her room, she wouldn't even eat. Till one day she finally opened her door for me. At first she wouldn't talk to me. I guess she just wanted my company with her in her room. She was crying and I had to force her to eat at least a piece of bread a day. I just went through a lost of a friend recently before that and she was there for me every minute to make sure I was ok. I wasn't going to give up on her."

"What did Sam do?" Paul asked.

I looked away. "It was a week later till she finally told me what happened. When she arrived at Sam's house she noticed that his front door wasn't closed properly. At first she thought it was weird, but she didn't really question it. Since she was close to Sam's family she knew that they wouldn't mind if she just came in. She thought Sam was sleeping and that she wanted to surprise him. In the end he was surprised alright. She walked into Sam having sex with our second cousin Emily. Ever since then she was always closed off to dating guys. Well...until you came along. So honestly Paul, there's no apology needed. You kind of saved my sister out of her funk. She learned how to trust again. She's happy with you, I can see that. If she seems closed off at times then maybe she is, but that scar is always going to be there. It's not your fault, but it really isn't hers either. Just give her time. I see that she loves you...actually I know that she loves you too."

"She hasn't said it to me."

I shrugged. "She doesn't have too. She looks at you like you're the world to her."

Unexpectedly, Paul pulls me in and gives me a hug. "Thanks man."

"No problem Paul, just keep doing what you're doing. Don't become another Sam in her life. Just be Paul."

Paul pulls back out and puts his hands on both my shoulders and he looks right into my eyes. "I don't mean to pry, but since you're Leah's brother I can't help now, but to feel like I need to make sure you're ok. Is there anything going on between you and Jake?"

I couldn't look him into his eye, but he wouldn't let me turn away. So the best I could do was look down. "We just got into an argument." That was the best I can think of on the spot.

"Well whatever you guys are fighter over; you two need to get over it. We're all friends. Friends don't turn their back on friends regardless of what they're fighting about. I tried talking to Jacob, but he wouldn't say a word and I'm not going to try and squeeze it out of you too. Just know, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you too ok?"

I just nodded.

I saw Leah creeping behind Paul and wrap her hands around his waist smiling. He in return smiled right back at her. It was good to see her happy. "Sorry to break up the bromance, but babe I'm going to need help setting up these tables." She planted a kiss on his cheeks. "Seth, why don't you wash up."

Not wanting to be around the love fest downstairs anymore I followed Leah's request. Plus, with all the stuff Paul was showing me around the engine my hands were full of dirt. I still can't believe I have a car. I went to my room to grab some clean clothes and went straight for the bathroom.

As I was standing in the shower letting the water hit my face. I just stood there. Relaxed. For the first time not trying to think about any drama that has been going on. Today was my day. Normally, I would have dreaded my birthday due my past, but I feel lighter today and that was all I needed. I finished washing up and dried myself. I went straight towards my room and I found a small box on my bed. That's weird. That wasn't there before. Underneath the box was an envelope. I walked slowly to it. I wonder who's it from. I picked up the box and placed it on the side and picked up the envelope. The envelope was left blank. Also weird. I opened it to realise that it wasn't even closed. I pulled out a note the was typed on a piece of hard paper. Like this person didn't want me to know who wrote it. I started to blush as I read what the note said.

'All everyone really needs is a good adventure to write down in their own personal history books. We go through life missing things that are right in front of us even if it does hit us on the face. This journey is like a roller coaster. We have our ups and we have our downs. Be happy. Nobody like you deserves to be in a sad mood. At the end of the day remember this; YOU will always be my favorite part of history. Happy Birthday Seth.'

There was no name written on it. I turned the card over and it was blank. Who was this from? I noticed the small box I laid on my bed. I put down the card and replaced it with the box. I started to tear off the gift wrap around it. As I slowly opened the small lid I noticed something shiny inside reflecting from the sun. It was a key chain and it looks like a dog tag was hooked on to it. On one side it had my name 'Seth Clearwater' and on the other it said 'let's go on a new adventure and create more history'. I'm still trying to figure out what this all means. Was Jasper here? I did like the keychain though. I thought it looked pretty cool. I grabbed my new car key and added it to my new keychain. Whoever this came from, thank you.

I finished up getting ready in my room and then I headed back downstairs to offer some help. I found Paul in the kitchen marinating some meat and I saw Leah outside setting up the table and decorations outside. Looks like Quil got here when I was getting ready because he was outside helping my sister out.

"Hey what's up Quil" I greeted. He nodded back in reply. "Hey Leah, did you put that present on my bed?"

She gave me a questionable look. "What present dork? I was down here all the time setting up for your party." I shrugged it off.

"Did you guys need any help?" I offered.

Leah finished putting down a table cloth. "Um. You can see if Paul needs any help marinating."

I walked back inside to find Paul.

"Hey Paul did you need any help?" He just smiled and shook his head at me. I was about to ask him about the present as well, but I decided just to drop it. I figured it was just a kind gesture from someone anonymous. I guess I'd figure it out another time.

My phone rang and I grabbed it out of my pockets. It was Jasper.

"Hey what's up Jaz!"

"Happy Birthday best friend!" He greeted me.

"Thanks! What's up?!" I asked

I heard laughter in the background. "We're right outside. Can you open the door?". I smiled and walked towards the door to open it. As I opened the door to find Jasper, Edward, and some girl wrapped around Edward.

"Happy Birthday Seth." Edward greeted me. "This is Bella." I waved at her and she smiled and greeted me as well.

Jasper pulled me into the living room, Edward joined Paul in the kitchen, and Bella went outside.

Once we were alone Jasper pulled me into a hug. "So are you excited about your car?". We pulled out of the hug and I just nodded my head. "I've known about it for a while now. It's a nice car. Look who's a big boy now." He chuckled.

"I can't actually drive it till I get my license."

Jasper put his hand on my shoulder. "Well we better get started...after your birthday of course." Jasper then reached into his back pocket and pulled out a card.

"What's this?"

"Open it to find out." He just smiled back at me. When I opened it I found a Happy Birthday card and inside it said 'I.O.U.'

I gave him a look of confusion. "I figured you'd look at me that way." He laughed. "You told me that you always wanted to learn how to play the piano and I figured...I could be your tutor."

I was in awe. "Jasper..." I couldn't find the words to tell him how much I appreciated him.

He held up his hand for me to stop. "Don't mention it." We joined the others outside. Paul and Edward was right by grill starting the fire. Embry came a few minutes later. Quill was sitting at the edge of the table eating some chips and dip and Bella was taking pictures with Leah on her phone. I wonder if Jacob is coming? As much as things are weird between us, I wish he was here. We were all having a good time and my phone went off again. It was James. I walked away from our group and answered my phone.

"What's up James."

"Yo! Buddy. What are you doing today?" James asked. My eyes widened in surprise. I didn't tell him. Oh crap.

"Um. Sorry. I forgot to tell you. My sister is throwing me a barbeque for my birthday. Did you want to come?"

I heard him laugh. "It's your birthday and you didn't tell me?"

"I know I'm sorry!"

"Don't be sorry. It's your day." James said.

"So are you coming?" I asked.

"No, I don't want to cause any drama. Especially on your day. I tell you what. There's a meteor shower going on tonight and the sky is going to be clear. Let me take you out to watch it with me for your birthday?"

I smiled. Without second thinking. "Sure."

"Great. I'll pick you up later. Have fun." James said and we ended the call.

I joined the others again. They were talking about how things were before Leah and I arrived at Forks. Hearing these stories were bittersweet. I love the stories of the past, but it made me feel left out because I wasn't there. Regardless, I was here now. We were all having fun. Talking have great conversations. Teasing each other. Teasing me mostly. Leah excused herself because she got a phone call and I eyed the food. I asked Paul if it was almost ready and he nodded. Seems like he and Edward were in a deep conversation.

I wanted to grab a soda from the fridge while I was waiting and on my way to the kitchen the front door opened. As it opened it seemed like a slow motion scene from one of the movies. A small gust of wind blew in and I see a body start to come through the door. The light outside was hitting me in my eyes so I couldn't really see who it was at first. Then as they got closer I noticed the silhouette of the person. With hair like that it was hard to miss. It was Melissa. She was smiling and then she turned around like she was talking to someone. My heart stopped and my eyes widened. Was Jacob about to come to my party? I hoped so. I really missed him. Desperate as it may seem, I would have loved if he just came and completely ignored me the whole time. As the door opened even further I was disappointed to see that it was only Leah behind Melissa. I turned and continued walking towards the kitchen to get my soda. I didn't want them to see my saddened face. Why did I even get my hopes up?

As I was getting my drink in the fridge I stuck my head in there get a good cold breeze to blow on my face. Then all of the sudden I felt someone hug me from behind. I turned around to find it was Melissa. She greeted me happy birthday and I thanked her and hugged her back. Even she came. We had small talk and we both walked to join the others outside. I realised that even with all the negativity and transgressions I threw at her she was still here wanting to be my friend.

I heard my phone go off again, but it was only a text message alert. I grabbed my phone once again and to my surprise I saw Jacob's name. I haven't seen his name flash on my cell phone screen in a while. Nervously I just kept looking at my phone staring at his name that popped up. I finally used my thumb to click open the message.

'Happy Birthday Seth. - Jake' was all it said. My stomach turned giddy and I couldn't help but smile. He didn't forget about me. I replied back 'thank you' and just left it as that. I didn't want to push my luck.

I turned my focus back to the group and had some more fun. The food was delicious. I guess Melissa baked this lemon jello cake that was bomb dot com. Everyone got second servings. She was a really good baker. I couldn't be any happier on who I was spending my birthday with. Everyone was amazing and they all made sure that I had a wonderful day. The sun was setting, but that didn't mean the party was ending soon. I didn't realise that they set up a portable bonfire that they placed in my backyard. We all gathered around the bonfire and just talked some more. It was getting kind of chilly, but being next to the fire was pleasant. James was right. The skies were clear tonight.

Out of the corner of my eyes I saw someone walking towards me and I turned to see that Leah was holding a cake lit with candles. At that moment everyone started singing happy birthday to me. I started gushing and I was in awe. I blew out my candles and made my wish. My only wish right now was to have Jacob back in my life. Embry tried to pry out what I wished for then Melissa smacked him on the arm saying that I couldn't do that or my wish couldn't come true. I smiled and shook my head.

It was about another hour till everyone started heading out. First it was Quil and Embry. Half an hour after that it was Melissa saying that she had to go home and walk her dogs because her parents were out of town. She then began to explain of how super anxious her dogs get if they don't go for a walk that they would start tearing her house apart. This girl was cute. I smiled, thanked her, and walked her to the door.

The rest of the gang helped Leah and I clean up the back yard which we finished faster than I thought. Jasper, Edward, and Bella left right after we got finished cleaning. Leah and Paul stayed outside in the backyard next to the slowly dying bonfire and I just hung out in the living room waiting for James to pick me up. I didn't tell Leah and Paul that I was going out with James due to the fact that I know that I'd be lectured and I really wasn't up to any that today. Today was my day and I get to hang out with whoever I want. I sent James a text message to ask where he was and he replied back a few minutes later stating that he would be at my house in 5 minutes.

I decided to wait for him outside, but before I did I went to my backyard to tell Leah that I would just be going out for a walk since it was a nice night out. She just nodded, told me to be safe, and asked me to call her if I ran into trouble.

As I waited for James outside my house I kept looking up at the sky wondering what the meteor shower would look like. Previously living in Los Angeles I wouldn't have been able to watch this since the sky is always thick with clouds. James pulled into my driveway in a really nice red convertible car. Was this his? I got in and we quickly drove off with the tires of his car screeching.

"Thanks for taking me with you to see the meteor shower tonight" I told James

He gave a small laugh, "Don't thank me. It's your birthday. All I want you to do is enjoy the last part of your day. I have a feeling that this night you're going to remember forever."

I smiled at him. "I hope so. I've never seen a meteor shower before. Where are we heading?"

"The beach. It's a great place to see it. I brought a blanket in the back seat so we can just chill on the sand." He pointed to the back and I saw this dark blanket thrown into the back.

We got to the beach in record time. Surprisingly James didn't get stopped for speeding. We both got out of the car, James grabbed the blanket, and we were off to face the sand. I tried to look around to see if there were anyone else that had the same idea, but I didn't see anyone else. Oh well, their loss I guess. The beach was really dark. The last time I was here was when Paul threw that bonfire. That night Jacob looked at me differently. I shook the thought away and sat down on the blanket after James swiftly set it down.

I exhaled. "This is such a beautiful night. I would have thought that other people would have had the same idea to be at the beach."

"Hmmm..."

I gently pushed James. "Hmm...What?!" I laughed.

"Nothing. I'm just joking." James replied. He looked straight up towards the sky which in return made me look up as well.

"Do you know when it's suppose to start?" I asked.

"Um. No idea." He laughed.

"Is there even supposed to be a meteor shower tonight?!"

He looked straight at me with a grin. "Would you be mad at me if there wasn't?"

"Not necessarily." I looked down. "Maybe a little disappointed for the fact that you got my hopes up."

He gave me a questionable look. "So you're telling me that the only reason that you came with me here tonight was because of the shower?"

I looked right back at him and shook my head. "No, I would have chilled with you without an occasion. You don't need to lie to kick it dork." I chuckled.

"You are right. There really isn't anybody around."

I looked towards the ocean hearing the waves hit the sand. It was kind of windy, but not too windy that it gave you chills.

James and I decided to lay back on the blanket staring into the sky. As time continues to pass by I felt James moving closer to me. I assumed that he was just trying to get comfortable and I felt James turn his head to look at me.

"We're here to watch the meteor shower not for you to stare at me" I told James without taking my eyes off the sky.

He scooted closer and whispered in my ear, "But you're so sexy though..."

I started to get an uneasy feeling, but I tried to ignore it. Next thing I know James was now hovering over me. My eyes widened. I was so nervous and uncomfortable I didn't know what to do. James kept getting closer and closer and I knew that if I didn't stop him our lips would meet. At the last second I turned, rolled over, and got to my feet as quick as I could. I could feel a little anger rising up inside me.

"What are doing? I told you we're just friends." I confronted James.

James just chuckles and gets on his feet as well. Slowly he starts walking towards me and I automatically start stepping back to keep the distance between us. As I kept stepping back I lost my footing into a hole someone dug in the sand and I fell on my back. I could feel my heart racing and I started breathing faster. I noticed James shake his head and kneel down beside me with his arms in either side of my head. Crap, I'm stuck.

"Where you going little puppy? We haven't even started playing yet." James said. He leans in for another kiss and this time he got our lips to touch. I was so disgusted that my first reaction was to push him off of me. I place both my hands on his chest and pushed him off as hard as I could. It took James by surprised and suddenly I can see anger flash in his eyes.

I tried to get back up, but James quickly pushed me back down hard into the sand. "If you'll just let me give you my gift, I swear it'll be easier on you."

"What the fuck does that even mean?!" I shouted at him. James just started laughing again. "You're fucking crazy!" Now he has a smirk planted on his face and he starts to lean in again. With fear and adrenaline rushing through me I did the only thing that I thought that can get me away from this situation. I balled up my first with all my strength and connected it with James' left cheek.

It stunns James, stumbles back, and falls onto his butt. It gave me enough time to get on my knees and crawl away as fast I could. I couldn't get my footing so I continued to stumble along the sand when I felt a side splitting pain and I fell to the sand and gasping for air to breathe. That's when I realised that James had kicked me on my side and James was now standing over me with a demonic look on his face.

"Bitch, where are you going?! I'm not done with you yet!" he yelled out and continued to kick me on my stomach. He just continued laughing at my pain that he was causing me. "You're going to make me feel so good tonight you dirty whore."

As he was about to kick me again I saw an opportunity to grab his foot and flip him off balance. I gathered up all the energy I had to get on my knees and the only thing I can think of was I need to hurt him bad enough so I can get away. As I got closer to him his eyes were closed and it looked like he was trying to pull himself back together. It gave me a chance that I needed to start throwing the punches I needed hoping to knock him out so I can flee. After the third punch he grabbed my arm and hit me on my temple. It gave me a blinding pain through my head and everything went black for a second.

When I recovered I was on my back and James straddling me. I felt my shirt being ripped apart. "Why are you doing this?" While I was kicking trying to get away from James. "I thought we were friends? Why are you doing things? What did I do to you?

James leans into my ear which gave me even more chills. "I told you I don't have any friends."

"But I thought I was giving you a chance for us to be friends. You told me about your life...something you said that you never told anybody else."

James gave a psychotic laugh. "You're so gullible. You think you're the only person who fell for that sob story. What other way would I have been able to gain your trust?" He started rubbing his thumb on my lips. "No more talking; you're going to make me feel good tonight."

Panic surged through me and the only thing I could think of is I have to fight until I couldn't fight anymore. I was still kicking underneath James trying to get away. I tried to swing my fist at James again, but unfortunately luck wasn't on my side. He got even more mad and he started throwing punches my way. I got hit on both sides of my face and while this is happening I was still kicking underneath.

Since we were both on the sand James somehow lost his balance and I scurried to my feet and took off running. My thought was to get to the street and hopefully someone can help me. To my dismay I couldn't really see where I was going because there was blood running into my eyes. Then a sudden realisation hit me. I went the wrong way. I felt the water hitting my feet and I exhaled in defeat.

Out of nowhere I felt someone grab my waist and body slammed me into the sand head first. Then I heard a snap and my left arm was on fire. What just happened? I couldn't see and I couldn't breathe. I had sand in my mouth. In my eyes and I was in so much pain. I couldn't believe what was going on. All of the sudden I heard James laughing again and he grabbed me into head lock and started dragging up the beach. Scared that he might snap my neck I decided to push myself along with my feet.

We finally stopped moving, he rolled me over to my stomach, and he got back to straddling me from behind. I could hear him breathing over me trying to catching his breath. Again, James started punching on my head again. You know that saying people say that when you think you're about to die, your life flashes before your eyes. With each blow I saw my mom taking care of me when I was sick. My dad teaching me how to ride my bike. Leah and I running around playing jokes on each other. The guys hanging out laughing have a good time and...Jake.

No, this isn't how I'm going to die. This isn't how my parents are going to find me. With little strength I had left I threw my right elbow back. I hit something and I heard crunching. James let out a painful scream and I knew I got him.

"You broke my nose bitch! You're going to pay for that!" With that being said he put me into another headlock took my right arm and pinned it under his knee. My left arm was useless and I was gasping for air. I felt James arm reaching under me. Oh god, he's trying to take my pants off. I started crying. This is it. This is the end. I could feel the ocean breeze hitting every part of my body. With each breeze it seems to take a part of my life with it. I was getting light headed. I couldn't breath. My vision was going in and out. Is this how it feels to slowly die?

Then I saw it. The bright light. The last thing I can think of was take me away from this pain. I'm sorry to everyone who cares about me. I'm ready now. Goodbye. I tried to fight for my life, but it just wasn't enough.


	11. Chapter 11

**OK guys as promised, you didn't have to wait as long as the last chapter :) however, it's not as long, but still juicy. Thank you so much for everyone who reviewed. I can not express how much it really means to me. Getting this kind of feedback is so unexpected. Coming into this I didn't know what I was getting into. Thank you so much! Again, please review and let me know what you think :)**

**Also, if you guys don't mind. I am in a process of writing another story. It's called "Agape". So if you wouldn't mind checking it out for me as well and letting me know if I should continue with the story :)**

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It was like watching your tv go in and out. Static blurring your vision. Every other second was movement and grunts. I felt James grip around my neck tighten up and I did whatever I can to get away. Even if luck wasn't on my side I tried to go against the odds.

"Baby your skin feels so soft", James whisper in my ear. I felt the tears coming down. I tried to call out for help, but I couldn't. Then out of nowhere James tight hold was suddenly thrown off me. I heard yelling and grunting, but I just couldn't just make it out. I was just glad that James had stopped choking me. Then to my disappointment...the darkness took over.

I opened my eyes once again and somehow I was in the back seat of someone's car. My head was still in scorching pain. The wind blowing through the front windows was slapping me in the face. Then James came to the forefront of my thoughts. I looked around in horror. This car was different. I wasn't in James car. I let out sigh of relief. Who's car am I in? Then I grunted in pain trying to get up in a sitting position. I couldn't. I felt the car slow down like if we were stopping from a red light. Then to my surprise a familiar face turned around to check up on me. Jasper.

He looked at me with worry. My vision was still discombobulated and trying to focus on Jasper in front of me. All these emotions just rushed into me and I just started crying. Jasper tried to reach back to rub my arm to comfort me, but out of my unconscious thoughts I backed up as far as I could and just yelled and panicked. A vision of James grabbing me came to mind. I yelled out "get away from me!" I didn't mean to. Then Jasper came back to view. My vision was bad, but I can tell that he was crying silently. I know he wasn't trying to hurt me, but after what just happened with James panic just took over. I can tell Jasper can see the restlessness overcome me and just nodded because he knew he really couldn't do anything.

Still crying I was trying to gather myself together. "Where...are we...going?" I asked.

Jasper turned back around and started driving the car forward again. "I'm taking you to the hospital." He was so matter of fact. I could see all the streetlights we were passing by. I started crying erratically. "Please don't be scared. You're going to be ok." I could hear the pain in his voice.

We drove through a bump which made me jump out of place and I screamed out the top of my lungs. "I'm so sorry!" Jasper yells out. I knew it wasn't his fault, but he was trying to comfort me as much as he possibly could. The car suddenly stops and Jasper jumps out the car. I started to get anxious being alone in the car. What if James found me? How did I even get here? What happened at the beach? I can feel my heart beating faster. A few seconds later the back door opens and I see Jasper with a wheelchair accompanied with what looked like hospital nurses behind him.

They lifted me up carefully and sat me on the chair and wheeled me in. As the glass doors of the emergency room slid open I could see everyone that was in there looking at me horrified. The bright lights hit me hard in my eyes. I didn't want to see any reactions so I looked down watching the tiles below me flow by. I was ashamed. I heard Jasper talking to the nurses and then he told me once again that everything was going to be ok. I was still crying.

They rolled me into a room with a single bed. The nurses gently lifted me up again and laid me down in bed. Jasper took a seat next to me and slowly reaches out to hold my hand. I flinched a little bit, but my reaction to his touch wasn't as bad as before. "My dad's working the emergency room tonight. I've asked the nurses to call him so he should be here any minute." Jasper squeezed my hands tighter. He was right. Not a minute later a tall man walks into the room. It looked like he may have been wearing a white coat, but I couldn't really put everything into perspective. It must have been Jasper's dad Carlisle. I couldn't even explain the look he was giving me because I was avoiding to look at his face. Everything else was a blur. Everything was so bright.

"God, Seth. What happened?" I didn't know if he was talking to me or Jasper.

After a few seconds of silence Jasper answered his dad, "He got attacked by..."

I quickly cut Jasper off, "Muggers." Out of the corner of my eye could see Jasper quickly whip his head towards me. His mouth slightly opened as if he was surprised that I didn't tell the truth.

He turned to look at Carlisle. "He's lying dad."

I let go of Jasper's hand and just looked down at my feet. "No I'm not. You weren't there. It was a mugger." I didn't want to admit that James did this to me. I didn't want to ever see him again and if that means I have to lie to not see him then that's what I'm going to do.

Carlisle walked over to the other side of my bed. "I have to check your pulse, but before that I need to look at your head." He brought a small flashlight and waved it across my eyes. Then he started gently moving my head side to side to get a better view. "Looks like you may have gotten a concussion. You're going to need some stitches." He leaned into my left arm and I leaned my head back screaming in pain. He took a look at my arm. "Your arm seems to be dislocated as well. Seth, I'm going to need to put it back into place. It's going to hurt, but I can promise you I'll give you some pain medication so the pain would go away as soon as possible." I looked at Carlisle then I looked at Jasper who was still on the other side of my bed. Jasper nodded to me and in return I turned back to Carlisle and nodded for him to do what he had to do.

"Ok in 3 I'll pop it back. One..." then I heard a loud pop and immense pain taking over my body. I turned to my side and cried profusely. "Sorry. You're going to need a sling for your arm for a few weeks. Charlie should be coming in soon to file a report. Any violent act that goes around here needs to be consulted with the sheriff." I widened my eye and shook my head at Carlisle. "I'm sorry Seth. It's hospital protocol. Mugger or not you got hurt. Whoever hurt you has to deal with the consequence of their actions. I don't know if you've seen yourself Seth. You look pretty bad. I'm not going to lie to you and say that you just got a few scrapes and bruises because you obviously have more than just that." Tears were still coming down my eyes. I gave out an exhale. "I'll leave you two alone for awhile. I'll send a nurse to bring you some pain meds. Jasper , I'll leave it to you to call Mr. and Mrs. Clearwater. I'm sure they're worried and they would probably want to know where Seth is."

As soon as Carlisle left the room Jasper quickly confronted me. "Why did you lie? You fucking know it wasn't a damn mugger who attacked you." He was getting frustrated. "You..." He choked on his words. "You...could've died." I looked up at him and tears were flowing down his cheeks. His eyes were red.

"How did you find me?"

Jasper didn't answer me right away. I kept looking at him while he was busy looking around the room. Seem as if he gave up and looked right back at me.

"Melissa called me." Jasper finally answered my question.

My eyebrows furrowed. "W-what? How did she know where I was?"

Jasper smiled. He grabbed my hand again and started rubbing his thumb across my hand. "She lives right by the beach. She was walking her dog and she saw this car zoom past by her which upset her dogs. Then she saw you and James get out the car. She thought it was suspicious that you two were going to the beach so late for no reason. So she ended up giving me a call and asked for me to check up on you. I drove down the the beach as soon as I can. I'm so thankful that she did Seth. We could have lost you." Tears were coming down his face once again. "Right when I arrived at the beach my headlights caught you two on the ground. I didn't even have time to think. I just ran towards you two. Then the closer I got I was able to see what was happening. I tackled him to the ground and he got his arms off of you. We fought for a bit, but I noticed that his nose was already bleeding and he was hurt. Somehow I get a good jab and he passed out. Once I saw him just lying there I ran towards you...you were just laying there. I tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't. I panicked so I just grabbed you and put you in my backseat and that's where I guess you woke up. Now answer my question. Why did you lie to my dad? Don't you see what he's done to you? You shouldn't let him walk away just like that." That's when my vision started getting a little better. I looked at his hands. It was all scraped and bruised. His knuckles had blood all over them. He had some scratches on his face. I felt so bad that he too had to get hurt.

I gulped. I really didn't want to answer his question, but there was no use. I couldn't even get any words out at that point. Once again I was crying hysterically. One of the nurses finally came into the room and handed me some pill for me take. That task itself was hard for me to do. My jaw hurt to open my mouth wide enough to put it in and do drink water to wash it down was almost close to impossible. It must have been the pain pills that Carlisle was talking about because not too long I phased back out.

As I opened my eyes again the room was a little be dimmer than when I first came in. I was trying to get my vision back together and I noticed my family was here. I turned my head to see that Jasper was asleep on the couch across the room. Leah was on the floor asleep on the ground with her back on the wall. My mom and dad was right beside my bed. My mom with her head on my dads shoulder and my dad just looking right at me. He gave me a small smile. He reached out to grab my hand which in return woke my mom up.

"Oh my god Seth you're awake." She got up and hugged me. I winced in pain and she quickly pulled away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." She sat back down besides my dad. I noticed that Leah too had woken up. She got up and slowly walked towards my bed and sat down at the footing of it.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked.

Leah crawled up to lay down besides me and I tried to scoot over as much to give her some room. "You were asleep for over a day. We got all worried, but Carlisle said from the exhaustion of what happened during that mugging and the extent of how much pain you took that it was normal for you to be sleeping for so long." I closed my eyes. I'm so thankful that Jasper didn't tell anyone what really happened. I turned my head towards him to see if he was still sleeping. He wasn't. He was now there sitting with his arms crossed.

"Charlie came by yesterday, but since you were asleep he couldn't complete his report. He said that he would just stop by the house during the week." My dad said to fill up the silence that took over. "So why were you walking at the beach so late at night Seth?"

I looked up at the ceiling. "I just wanted to go for a walk." I hated lying. I felt someone touch my other hand and I flinched in nervousness. It was just Leah. What's going on with me?

I was in the hospital for another couple days till Carlisle said it would have been ok for me to come home. A sigh of relief got to me because I was getting restless just being in the hospital room. I finally got the see the extent of how badly hurt I was. Yes, I had a sling on my arm, but my face was badly beaten. I could barely tell it was me.

When we finally got home I just stayed in my room. To be honest never really wanting to leave my room. A few days has past and I didn't want to go to school. The worst part was the nightmares. I would cry and yell in my sleep for help. I would recall the events that happened that night. I would wake up by either Leah or my parents coming into my room to wake me up from my horrible slumber. Jasper came by everyday to check up on me. He said that the guys were asking about me and he told me that he told everyone the same story I was telling everyone. I wanted to talk to him about it, but still I couldn't come to face with reality. I could see a hint of disappointment behind his eyes. Charlie came by the other day and asked me a few questions. He asked me to describe my 'mugger' and I just told him since it was dark I couldn't really identified the attacker. As he left he told me that if I remember anything else don't hesitate to come to the sheriff's station.

It was a little over a week till I decided that I had to go back to school. My face has healed up just a little bit, but still I was still unrecognizable. I told Jasper yesterday my plan and he told me that he would be picking me up and that he wouldn't be leaving my side. Great, I have my own personal security guard. I didn't want that. I told him he didn't have to, but I guess anything I tell Jasper at this point he wouldn't listen to. I had to face the possibility that I might see James at school. Jasper told me that he hasn't seen James at school since the incident which helped me ease up just a little bit.

As soon as we got to school I was just looking down. Passing students left and right. Then we just stopped as I saw a pair of legs in our way. It started me and I quickly took a step back. I thought it was James, but I looked up to see that it wasn't him. It was Jacob.

"My god. Seth, what happened?" Jacob asked and he took a step closer.

I don't know why, but anger was starting to take over. My eyes were getting filled with tears again. I looked at him with so much anger. "So now you're talking to me?! Why do you even care?!" I took a step forward and in return he took a step back because of my aggression. He finally stopped walking once he finally backed up into a locker. I don't know where it came from; I just went off. "Don't act like you care now just because something happened! The way you've been treating me this past few weeks made it clear to me that you wouldn't have cared if I existed. And now what?! Just because I look like shit and almost got the life beaten out of me you try to come running and rescue me? What the hell do I look like some damsel in distress?! You said you considered me your best friend Jacob, but the way you treated me made it seem like you cared more for shit stuck on your shoe than me. So yea, I look like shit, but don't you dare come to me acting like you care now because I'm tired of this bullshit! And you know what sucks about this whole situation?! I still considered you as one of my best friends, but I guess you proved me wrong right?" He was surprised. I stared at him with his eyes wide open and his mouth agape. It looked like he was about to say something, but before he can muster up the words I walked away pulling Jasper with me. I could tell students had stopped and they were staring. Whether it was because of my sudden outburst or the way I looked like, but at that moment I did not care.

I got to my first class and everyone's attention was on me; including my teacher. They all gave me the look like I was a walking dead. I tried to ignore it because I'm probably going to be getting these looks all day. I kept my head down till I noticed Embry come walking towards me and sat next to me.

"Holy crap Seth" Embry whispered to me. "What the fuck happened to you? I mean, I heard you got mugged, but fuck it looks like you got one hell of a ride out of it. I'm sorry I don't mean to open up wounds that you are trying to heal. We were just worried about you man."

I sighed. "Thanks. That really does mean alot to me." I forced a smile to come across my face.

Embry looked like he was studying my face. It looked like he had a question he wanted to ask me, but was deciding if he should or not. "So if you don't mind me asking, do you know who did it? I mean the mugger. Did you take a good look at him? Whoever messed with you is messing with everyone in the group. We're all ready to pounce." He chuckled. "I know Jacob sure is."

"What are you talking about?" I inquired. That statement somehow got me curious.

Embry and I waited for a while to continue our conversation. Our teacher started talking, but fortunately the rest of the class we were just going to watch a video. Once the teacher popped in the video Embry turned towards me again. "Back to Jacob, he was so pissed off when Jasper told us. He kept asking who was the person and all Jasper told him that you didn't know. Is that true?"

I shrugged. "It was dark. I couldn't get a good look at him." I hated lying, but I wanted to stick with my story. If I can just avoid James my whole life then I would do it.

Class ended faster than I thought, but then again Embry and I were not even paying attention to notice the bell even ring. It was nice talking to him. He started telling me about this new girl he has started seeing. He was at the mall with Quil. Quil was hungry so they went to the food court and as they waited in line to get a hot dog this girl stood behind them. Embry told some lame corny pick up line which I guess worked because they have been talking ever since and that was a week ago. To be honest, I'm glad he's telling me this because it kept my mind away from things. At the end of class we were assigned a project. Embry and I were to work on it together so that just means we would be spending a little more time together. That would be nice.

The day seemed to go by quicker than I thought. Of course I got a little more attention than I ever had since moving here, but I have to say that I'm glad I came to school instead of staying home. It was lunchtime and I decided that I wanted to hang out with the guys because I did miss them. Once I arrived joining the rest of the group they all expressed their concerns and I in return told them I was ok. In reality I was nowhere near that. I still had James in the backseat of my thoughts and seeing him I don't know how I would react. Surprisingly Jacob was with us. He didn't speak to me of course, but I caught him looking at me and when he saw me turn my head he quickly turned his. Not this again. I'm getting tired of this. Can't he just go back to ignoring me. I would be a lot happier. Jasper and I was sitting on the bench talking about heading to the diner after school when I got goosebumps from a familiar voice speaking up. I turned around only to be horrified to what was in front of me. Jasper quickly stood up in front of me with his hands balled up.

"So I heard a rumor in school that you were mugged. I hope you're not as hurt as you look." James said coldly with a smile. Everyone else in the group didn't really pay attention to him because prior to events we were actually hanging out so they just acted casually.

I could sense the hostility that Jasper has towards James. A flashback of what happened that night hit me and then I felt anger boil inside of me. I stood up to face James. There's no way that I'm going to let James affect me this way. I know for a fact that James wouldn't start anything here anyways because all my real friends were here. The adrenaline was pumping into my veins. "You know what James? You can take your fake ass concern and take it somewhere else!" My eyes darted towards him. At this moment, I could tell everyone in the group had their attention on me, even Jacob.

James grinned back at my stabbing stares, "But Seth, I thought we were friends?"

"Friends?" I laughed. "James, you don't have friends. My parents always taught me to never judge anybody on their appearance; so I figured that I should give a pathetic soul a chance. But I guess I just wasted my fucking time didn't I? Do us all a favor and jump off a cliff and at least make it entertaining for us. I'll reserve my seat front row. Till that day comes, back off the fuck off and I never want to see your face again."

Out of nowhere I heard clapping and I turned to see Jasper laughing and cheering me on. The other guys had a look of surprise on their faces. I hate to admit it, but even seeing Jacob grin made me feel good. I turned back around to see James expression of what looked like defeat, but then smiled again. As he was leaving a turns his head to look straight at me, "I may be a pathetic soul, but you're the dumbass who gave me a chance. Seth, just remember even in the dark you have a shadow." He winked at me and walked away.

As James cleared away I realised that I was now shaking. I can't believe I just did that. I can't help but think about that shadow crap that he was talking about. Was that another threat? Shit. I felt someone grab my shoulder and turn me around. It was Embry.

"What was that about?!" He yelled out.

"Oh we just had a falling out. I realised that he was everything that you guys warned me about. I was just stupid enough to think he had any good in him."

After my confrontation with James I kept a lookout around me. Jasper as promised was with me with every turn. Luckily, I didn't encounter James the rest of the day. After school Jasper took me to the diner Jacob and I went to when he was teaching me how to drive. All these memories was starting to fuel my emotions and I was going haywire.

We were getting out of the car when I noticed Jacob and Melissa walking out of the diner. Oh great. Why does this keep happening to me. When I wanted to see him Jacob was nowhere around. Now when I don't want to see him he was always there. Nobody got time for this.

Melissa skipped towards us. "Hey Seth!" I hate how she's so cute.

"Hi Melissa" I greeted.

"How about me?" Jacob asked. "Are you going to greet me too?" I just looked at him and waved. "So can you tell me what happened?"

Once again, anger was starting to take over. "Didn't you hear? I got mugged." I told him.

Jacob chuckled. "Do you know what this guy looks like? Did you get a good look at him?" Why was he pressing so much?

I exhaled. "I told everyone the same thing and I'm telling you this; I don't know."

"C'mon Seth, you have to remember something about the guy."

Jasper all of the sudden steps in front of me. I took a quick look at him and he looked pissed. "You know what Jake you want to know the truth, here's the truth. It's all your fucking fault!" I grabbed Jaspers arm and he snatched it away from me.

"Please Jasper don't." I begged him. Jasper turned to look back at me.

"No Seth! I'm tired of this crap. Out of all the people, Jacob needs to know." I took a look at Jacob and Melissa; they both had a puzzled look on their faces. Jasper turned his attention back at Jacob. "You want to know what really happened?! I'll tell you. Since you chose to not be around and now since you're so worried about Seth here's what really happened. You want to know about the mugger?! You wonder why he couldn't remember anything about that mugger?! HA! There was no mugger!"

"Wait...what?!" Jacob replies.

"I'm not fucking done. There's no need to pretend that we all don't know what's going on." Jasper took a step closer to Jacob and started talking a harsher tone. "I found Seth being beaten to an inch of his life and in the of an attempted rape. It's all your fault!"

Jacob tried to cut Jasper off. "How is it..."

"Shut up I told you I wasn't done! You know Seth might have been hasty about kissing you and showing how he felt about you, but that was no excuse for you to ignore him and treat him the way that you did. Didn't you realise because you started ignoring him that was the reason he turned to James. I tried to talk him out of it, but there's only so much I can do when he was so brokenhearted over you. I've known you for so many years, but I never thought you could be that cold. Even if you aren't gay that doesn't give you a reason for you to stop talking to him. So what if he told you he couldn't be friends with you again. What did you expect him to say?! He was scared and didn't know what else to do. You shouldn't have let him walk out your house! What kind of friend does that?! You're a fucking pussy Jake, that's what you are! Even Melissa was more of a friend to Seth than you have been lately. Thank god Melissa called me to tell me spotting Seth and James at the beach."

Jacob took a step back shaking his head. I took a look a Melissa and she was crying her heart out. Then Jacob took his attention to Melissa. "You knew about this and you didn't tell me?!"

Melissa fell down to her knees with her head down, "I swear I didn't know. I'm so sorry all I wanted to do was help you." Wait who is she talking to?

"Don't be mad at her. If it wasn't for her I'd probably be dead by now." I walked over to Melissa and knelt down beside her pulling her into a hug. "Thank you. You saved my life."

"How is this my fault? I'm sorry I wasn't around, but I don't understand how this is my fault." Jacob said.

"How is it your fault Jake? You were on of his best friends and you totally ignored him. You pretended like he didn't exist. Like he was nothing on this earth. Seth was abandoned by someone who he trusted and cared about. Fuck that, he fucking loves you!" I was mortified. Why would Jasper confess that to Jacob?

"I understand that it was wrong of me to ignore him because of the kiss, but I wasn't the one who forced him to befriend James. I even warned him again." A few seconds passed by till Jacob started talking again. "Wait James...he was at school today. Was that the reason why Seth went off on him? And what the hell did he mean over that stupid shadow shit?!"

Jacob now turned his attention towards me. "Seth, I know I haven't been a good friend...Fuck! I haven't even been a good friend lately. But I want you to know that I always cared about you. I'm not going to let James get away with this."

"You know what? _It's too late._"

Jacob stood there for awhile staring at me and he suddenly started walking backwards till he bumped into his truck. He didn't say anything else, but just got into his truck and drove away peeled out of the parking lot.

We were all left at the parking lot figuring out what just happened. Melissa was still crying on my shoulder and I was trying to calm her down. We were suppose to eat at the diner, but ended up arguing with Jacob. Boy what a day. Can it get any worse?

Oh how I was wrong. The next day when I arrived at school Jasper and Melissa ran towards me out of breath.

"Seth!" Melissa says, "We have to get you out of here. Something bad has happened."


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello everyone! I am so sorry for the long wait. So many things going on and I had a family member in the hospital. So things just kept happening. I hope you guys aren't too upset. Anyways, I want to thank everyone who's been reviewing and following the story. Your reviews really fuel me to keep writing more! So please don't hesitate to review :) So without further a due enjoy the next chapter**

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My eyes widened. "What's going on?" I asked.

Things seemed very chaotic at the moment. I felt eyes staring at me and a few students whispering into each others ears. Am I missing something?

Melissa grabbed my hand and pulled me away and Jasper was following right behind us. I didn't realise how strong this petite little girl was. "Let's get out of here first; then we can answer any question you may have." Jasper informed me and I nodded. Something big must have happened for them to want to rush me out of school.

We got to Jaspers car and I noticed the James' car and I just got chills. I saw a few tire tracks near it, but I didn't really look into it. I just wanted to know what was going on. I sat in the back of Jasper's car and we pulled out of the schools parking lot. "So where are we going?" I asked.

"Can't go to my house. My moms home." Jasper said. "Seth, is your house clear?"

I shook my head. "No, my mom should be home too. I think she's having a book club meeting there today."

"We can go to my house. My parents are both at work right now so we should be good till around 3 in the afternoon." Melissa cut in.

I looked down at my legs with so much thought going around in my head. So many questions and so many unanswered questions. I took a deep breathe. Out of all the questions that was rattling inside me there was one that stood out the most. "So is any of you going to let me know what's going on?"

Jasper and Melissa looked at each other. The look in Jasper's eyes I could see hesitant. "He's going to find out sooner or later." Melissa says. Jasper says ok and continues driving.

Melissa turned around and looked into my eyes and all in one breathe she said, "Jacob almost beat the life out of James." I felt like my skin turned white once Melissa finished her sentenced. I didn't know that something like this would happen nor would have I thought Jacob would have done something about it.

I was trying to put the scenario in my head, but I needed to know exactly what happened. "W-what...C-Can you explain to me how all this happened?"

Melissa turned back around and started watching the road ahead of us. I started to scratch my head because I was starting to get impatient. Then she cleared her throat to get my attention back to her; however she still had her sights on the road. "I've been getting rides from Jacob lately because he knew how long it takes just to take the bus all the way to school. After yesterday's events, I figured he wouldn't pick me up. I mean, he wouldn't even answer my calls last night so I had to assume. I called Jasper this morning and he ended up picking me up. We actually got to school early and didn't feel like going to the bench where we all usually hang out, so we decided to stay in the car. I would say not a few minutes later James pulled up behind us facing the other direction. I don't think he even noticed us there. He didn't get out right away, but after knowing what happened to you I just got really heated and I wanted to say something. Jasper had to keep the doors locked so I wouldn't come outside. Jasper and I just started talking about school to get that subject out of our heads till we heard a loud tire screech behind us. We both looked around and we found Jacobs truck almost hitting James between the truck and his car. Fortunately, it didn't end up that way, but seeing the events afterwards I would like to assume that Jacob wished for that to have actually happened."

"Jasper and I quickly got out of the car because we couldn't believe what was going on in front of us. James had backed up into his car to avoid getting hit by Jacob's truck. Once the truck stopped and James realized that it didn't hit him he started laughing like a psychopath. I quickly glanced at Jacob, but he wasn't in the drivers seat anymore and his door was open. I heard a loud groan and turned to see that Jacob flew towards James and tackled him to the ground."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. Why did Jacob do this? Why does he care? Why does he even bother? The car had stopped and I noticed we were parked assuming in Melissa's driveway. "Let's go inside and I'll finish the story" Melissa said getting out of the car.

Melissa lived in a two story house and it was only a few blocks away from the beach. I got out the car and I could hear Melissa's dogs barking. Once we got in we all took a seat in her living room. "Have you gotten in contact with him yet or has he replied back?" Jasper asked Melissa.

"Wait. Is Jacob missing?" I asked both of them and they both just nodded back at me to confirm my suspicions. "How about James?"

"I'm going to get something to drink." Melissa told us. "Did you guys want anything?" Jasper shook his head and she turned towards me.

"I want to know what the hell is going on here." I was beginning to get really frustrated.

Melissa walked away which left Jasper and me in the room. "As what Melissa said. He got beaten up pretty badly. As much much as I wanted to see James get hurt I tried to put a stop to it, but Jacob wouldn't let me. Once I stepped close enough he pushed me away. They were both throwing each other into each others vehicles. Punches being thrown at each others faces. Paul and Embry ran towards the crowd that was forming around them creating it hard for other people to dissect through it. Paul asked me what was going on, but I didn't need to answer that question when a few seconds later Jacob was screaming at James. It seemed like every punch that Jacob was throwing he kept saying stuff like 'Seth didn't deserve any of that' or 'I'm going to kill you for what you did to Seth'. Paul and Embry was shocked and you can see the anger that was growing into their eyes. There was a moment when James was close enough to us that Paul kicked James behind the knees to make his knee bend and punched him on the back of his head. Embry then grabbed the back of his shirt and threw him towards Jacob. They didn't know the whole story, but they were more than willing to do whatever they had to do to defend your name Seth. Paul and Embry started to walk closer to the two, but Jacob yelled at them to step back and that it was between him and James. James got a few hits as well. James did some odd move that he spun around Jacob and grabbed his hair and slammed his face into the hood of his car. Jacob actually broke his passenger side window aiming for James' head, but missed since he ducked. His hand went straight through it. I think that pissed Jacob off even more. Blood and everything he still had the upper hand on James. By the time school teachers reached them it was over. James was on the floor beaten and Jacob jumped into his truck and drove off. We've been trying to get a hold of him ever since. Paul was the one who told Mel and I to take you away from school for the day. He said even though he didn't know what happened; it was best for you not to be around for the day."

All of the sudden I felt my phone vibrate. I grabbed it and I saw a text message from Jacob. My eyes widened. "Jacob just sent me a text." I informed Jasper. I opened the text message and I read it.

"What does it say?" Jasper asked me.

I read out to Jasper, "Seth. You probably know by now what had happened before school started. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I wasn't acting like a friend to you and I plan on making it up to you one way or another if you'd give me another chance. I will explain everything to you, but right now I need to clear my head. I'm so sorry. -Jacob"

"I wonder where's he at?" I asked myself looking at my phone rereading the text message. I felt someone sit next to me and turned. It was Melissa and she leaned in to give me a hug. I started to get worried. "What if he's really hurt? I...We need to find him." Water once again was starting to fill my eyes.

"He's going to be ok" Jasper said.

"How do you know? We should go try and find him." I stated

"Because he's Jacob. He's stronger than that. A school parking lot fight isn't anything to really worry about. At least healthwise." Melissa told me.

I looked at Jasper. "The gang is going to start asking questions." I stated.

"Let them. They'll understand if you don't want to tell them, but you have to face the music sooner or later." I nodded to agreement.

"I know that has to happen sooner or later, but talking about it is way easier than it actually happen. I think what's harder to swallow is that this is my life and it's not a movie. Things can go wrong; very wrong. I can lose people."

"That's true, but do you want to keep hiding behind a facade all your life?" Jasper asked.

"I know we've talked about this before, but I'm still not ready."

"Most of the time we aren't ready." Melissa interrupted.

I looked at Melissa. "I understand."

Melissa gave me a sly smile and held my hand. She exhaled out a deep breathe and it looked like she was nervous. What did she want to say that she was getting nervous for? "There's something you guys need to know. Well, more like I feel like it's time for other people to know." Melissa said.

Ok now I'm confused. "What are you talking about?" I asked.

"The reason why Jacob and I seem so close. Why everyone keeps thinking there's something going on between us." Melissa eyes looked into mine then she looked at Jasper and back to me.

Melissa smiled at me and was now rubbing my hand with her thumb. "I'm going to tell you my story and only my story. Remember the time when I started getting to know you guys?" Jasper and I nodded at her. "You guys should already know how Jacob is and how he just makes everyone around him comfortable."

"For the most part." I cut in.

Melissa giggled. "Yes. For the most part. I know you guys kept asking Jacob and I if there was anything going on between us and we both denied it." I didn't know if I was going to like this confession. "And to be honest, there really wasn't going on. He played a part that I needed him to play. I'm just going to just let it out ok? Just give me a minute to collect myself."

We waited in silence just bouncing stares between one another. A part of me wanted to send Jacob a text while waiting. I really wanted to know where he was at and if he was ok, but it wouldn't be fair to Melissa. She had something she wanted to tell us and I wanted to give her my full attention.

"Do you remember the day that I ran off crying?" Melissa said to fill the silenced room.

"Yea, I remember. You were upset over some ignorant kids." I said as I recollected that moment.

"It was more than that actually. One of the reasons I ran off is because I was so embarrassed and that you guys could have seen right through me. Then I realized that Jacob followed me. He actually had to hold me so I would stop running away from him. We talked for awhile till I calmed down. I let him in a little secret of mine that I've practically been holding for a while. He was actually the first person I told him and that's when he told me he'd help me out in any way that he can. I'm was very thankful and still am thankful for the kind of friend he is to me. Jacob and I got really close after that day. I really love spending time with him. He can make me laugh when no one else could. He always know how to to cheer people up."

My face dropped. "So you and Jake are..." Melissa started laughing.

"Best friends." Melissa finished my sentence.

"But you guys acted like you were dating. The way you described him just right now is just like you describe someone you're in love with." I said.

"You know Seth, you and I are a lot alike." Melissa said changing the subject.

I smiled at her. "He's mentioned that once or twice. I'm still trying to find out what he meant by that."

"I like girls." Melissa said it quickly. My eyes widened and I looked at Jasper; he had his jaw dropped. "That's the big secret."

I would have never thought I'd hear that coming out of her mouth. "So wait. So you're gay too?"

"Yes. I am. I actually had a crush on your sister, but then I soon came to realize that she had the hots for Paul. And no your sister doesn't have a clue about you, but I'm guessing because of what happened this morning she's going to start asking questions."

It seemed like perfect timing because right after Melissa stated the obvious Leah decided to call. I was so reluctant, but I knew I had to answer the phone call. I excused myself from Jasper and Melissa; I ended up walking outside to her balcony and closing the sliding door to get some privacy for this call.

"Hello." I said as I greeted the phone.

"Where are you?!" Leah asked irritably

"I'm fine thanks for asking Leah." I said sarcastically. "I'm at Melissa's house."

"So is it true? Jacob got into a fight with James this morning?"

I sighed. "Yea."

"I don't know much about what happened other than Paul asked Jasper and Melissa to take you away from school. Is there something going on that I need to know? I mean if they had to make you ditch a day it must be pretty serious and coincidently happens when Jacob and James fought."

I didn't know what to say. Other than a few grunts, that was the only thing coming out of my mouth.

"Look, I'm coming over there at lunch. Actually, Paul and I are. When I get there, you have some explaining to do." That was all Leah said before she just hung up the phone on me.

I took a few breaths to calm myself down to try and prepare myself of what's going to happen later on today. I took a few steps towards the edge of the balcony taking in the sight of the beach. A few minutes later I was still outside when I heard the sliding door open back up and someone coming outside to join me. I didn't really feel like turning around to see who it was so I kept my eyes on the beach. The waves at this point seemed to be relaxing me somehow.

"So how did the call go?" I heard Jasper ask behind me.

"It went alright. Leah's coming by at lunch."

Jasper took a few steps closer and put his arm over my shoulder to pull me in, "Shit. Are you going to be ok?"

I leaned my head on his shoulder. "I hope so." I was trying to think optimistically. The more I worry, the higher the chance I could get to have a panic attack. "How much time do I have till lunch comes by?"

Jasper pulled out his phone out of his pocket with his free arm. "You have about an hour and a half till lunch starts. Did you want to take a walk on the beach?"

I shook my head. "I'm fine here to be honest. Going down there is the last thing I want to do right now."

"Did I ever tell you what I thought of you when you first got here?" Jasper asked. I think he was trying to get my attention somewhere else.

"No. I just assumed that you thought I was cool enough to be friends with you." I laughed and teased.

"You intrigued me." Jasper confessed.

I was a bit shocked. I turned to face Jasper and he took his arm off of me. "What? Me? How is that even possible?"

Jasper smiled "You're not from around here and that itself caught my attention. Then to find out you're from Los Angeles. I was like man it's either this guy is going to be a douche or this guy is going to be pretty cool. I was hoping you were a douche" He pushed my shoulder and laughed. "But to my disappointment you weren't."

I smiled back at Jasper. "Aw, I'm sorry that I proved you wrong. Maybe next time I should have a bitch fit more often."

"Nah, don't do that. You're perfect just how you are. Anyways, the first time we hung out at Jacob's house you seemed to be very reserved and I wanted to know more about you. You know what gave you away?" I shrugged as he waited for my response. "The way you looked at Jacob. I knew you had this attraction towards him, but I didn't want to call you out on it. Then I decided to call you basically to confirm if my assumptions were correct and guess what? I was right" Jasper laughed after the thought. "I never really understood why you became friends with James even though everyone suggested for you not to."

"Can we please not bring that up." I said as I slouched down and took a seat on one of the patio seats that was close by.

Jasper kneeled down next to me and looked into my eyes. "That's not what I mean. I'm trying to say is what makes you special is that you didn't care what everyone else said. You saw something in James and you followed through with getting to know him. You just don't judge people by what their reputation is. You get to know them and find out who they really are yourself. I admire that. You have a quality to see things other people may be too blind to see."

"I could obviously tell that you were developing feelings for Jacob and just by the way you would talk about him would just confirm that. Then Jacob hurt your feelings and that angered something inside me. I wanted to be there for you, but you threw a curveball at me and decided to use James as some sort of distraction I guess."

I don't know where this was coming from and I could see Jasper's eyes tearing up. "Apart of me wished that you used me to be that shoulder to cry on instead of James. It killed me that you were spending time with him instead of me. Then the thought of all the times we spent together and how close we've become somehow, sometime during that. I started to gain feelings for you. It killed me that your heart was broken, but I wanted to be the glue that put your pieces back together. You may say that you're not perfect, but to me Seth. You're as perfect as it can get. Just the way you stare at things with your puppy eyes gets me in awe. Your innocence is so pure. I know you may still have feelings for Jacob and also due to recent events this isn't the right time. But I feel I just had to let you know that to someone's eyes, my eyes, you're as beautiful as the moon shining down on us. Without you the lives of the people you surround yourself with wouldn't be flowing correctly just like the waves hit the sand."

So many emotions started to flood my body. I never thought that my best friend had these feelings bottled up for me. Had I really been that blind to see how much he cared for me? Jasper and I just kept staring at each other. I started to look at him differently. He was attractive and he has always been there for me. Maybe I did have feelings for him too that I was suppressing. I noticed that Jasper licked his lips and he started to lean towards me. Was he about to kiss me? Should I kiss him? Maybe I'll like it as well.

I started to lean towards him too with so many thoughts going through my mind. Our lips were about to touch till I turned my head away from the kiss.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I can't"

Jasper gave me a small smile and kissed me on my cheek instead. "Don't be." I looked into his eyes and I notice a tear sliding down his cheek. I tried to wipe it off, but before I could reach his face he stood up and walked off the balcony heading towards the beach.

I hurt my best friend. I wanted to run off to comfort him, but I think he just wanted to be alone. I walked back inside to find that Melissa was in the kitchen getting something to drink. I think she saw the sadness in my face so she walked towards me and gave me a hug and asks what's wrong.

"I keep messing things up for myself and everyone that cares for me." I told her. I was starting to cry once again. "Jasper confessed that he had feelings for me and he tried to kiss me. I thought maybe that I did have feelings for him too, but as I leaned in I just couldn't do it. I'm such a horrible person."

"Don't say things like that. Yes, he's a bit hurt right now, but he'll come around." Melissa says trying to comfort me.

"I can't be here right now. I'm going to take a walk. I saw that there was a trail near your house. I need to be somewhere else but here right now. When Leah arrives and I'm not here yet, just tell her I'll be right back ok?"

Melissa nodded and I stepped outside. A gust of wind hit me as I started walking down the trail. It just seems like everything just keeps crashing down at the same time and I'm not handling it very well. I started to walk by some large trees and I could see squirrels running past me one by one.

As I was walking over this hill between some trees I notice someone standing near a ledge of the cliff just staring out into the horizon. I wasn't close, but I was close enough to know that it was a guy and he was standing a little too close near the edge. I started to panic. Was this guy going to jump? I started to run towards him and hopefully I would get there before this guy did anything he would later regret. As I got closer to this guy my pace started to slow down. I was starting to lose my breathe. Man I was out of shape. I started walking closer and I still don't think this guy knows that he's no longer alone. He seemed calmed with his hands in his pocket, but why was he so close?

"Hey!" I yelled out to get this guys attention.

The guy turned around to look towards me. It was Jacob.


	13. Chapter 13

**I owe you guys a big apology! I'm so sorry for the lack of updates. I wish I can tell you that I was doing something awesome like I was on vacation, but through my temporary leave my dad has been in the hospital and I myself had to go through surgery. I know this chapter isn't much, but I just wanted to give you guys a little something. Thank you again for the reviews and the private messages :)**

**Please don't forget to review :) Greatly appreciate it!**

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"Seth?" Jacob asked. "What are you doing here?"

I held my hand up showing him to hold on. I needed to catch my breath. "What do you mean what am I doing here? I should be asking that to you?"

Jacob smiled at me, "I go out here to think."

"So you weren't planning on jumping?"

"You thought I was going to jump?" Jacob asked with a surprised expression. "No, why would you think that?"

"Um. I don't know. Maybe cause you're so close to the edge." I pointed out to how close he was. Jacob turned around to see what I was talking about and took a few steps back. He turned back towards me and began to scratch the back of his head.

"Sorry. I didn't realise that I was that close. Now answer my question, what are you doing out here?" Jacob started to walk towards me. I felt a small gust of wind blow towards me and immediately I got goosebumps from it. I started to rub my arms to try and get myself a little warmer.

"I came out here for a walk. I needed to clear my head."

Jacob now was standing a few steps away from me with his hands in his pockets. "Ah, great minds think alike."

"So you come out here to think?" I asked

"Well, as what I said. I come here to think. It's been my thinking place since a was a little kid playing Power Rangers." Jacob laughed at the thought. "No one really goes here. The cell reception out here sucks so I can get some peace of mind and tranquility." He took a few more steps closer and ended up standing next to me facing the sky and ocean waters. "Beautiful isn't it?"

I smiled as I saw mother nature doing what she does best. "Amazing." We stood there for awhile and then I began to realise that I was standing there with Jacob admiring the view. "Well, um. Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your thinking time. I'll start heading back." I started to turn and walk away till I felt him touch my arm and stop me.

"Don't go." Jacob said softly.

I turned to him and looked into his eyes. There was sadness. "Why do you look so sad?" I asked.

"I've been such a jerk to you." Jacob stated.

"Jake..."

Jacob pulled me closer to him. He put his arms around me and gave me a hug "Shh..please let me finish." He let go of me a few seconds later and put his hands back into his pockets. "I don't expect things to go back to how things were right away, but I'm going to fight for your friendship back. To be honest with you all I have been doing all this time not talking to you was thinking about you and how things could have been handled better that night."

I started to feel awkward so I looked down to our shoes, but Jacob quickly used his fingers to bring my attention back to his eyes. He had a small grin, "No, eyes up here please. I guess you can say when I found out what James did to you I couldn't control my guilt and anger. I'm sorry Seth. I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me most. I was suppose to be your best friend, but I wasn't even close to that."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He still wanted to be my friend, but with all the things that has been going on. I just don't know right now with all these emotions being pulled out. "As much as I love hearing what you're saying right now..." I paused and took a few steps back. "What you did can't just be erased and I won't just forget things just like that. What I will say is that I do forgive you, but right now Jake. I don't know if I can trust you. I still have feelings for you yes, but I have to start looking out for myself. But if you really mean what you just said.." I licked my lips trying to get the rest of what I wanted to say out. "If you really mean it; you're going to have to prove it to me. Honestly, the only reason I'm here right now is that I thought you were going to jump and I'm glad you aren't."

Jacob nodded his head. "I understand."

I grabbed my phone to look at the time. "I have to go. I'm going to start explaining some things to Leah and she's headed to Melissa's house soon. Take care Jacob" I turned around and started walking towards Melissa's house. Once I felt I was in a far enough distance between Jake, I turned around to see that he was still in the same position looking out into the ocean. I kept walking thinking about our conversation. Too many things has happened in a short period of time for me to just start acting like we're best friends again.

Then I started getting a raw feeling in my stomach. Jasper. I hurt his feelings. I didn't even know he had feelings for me like that. Was I blinded over Jacob that I couldn't see how my best friend felt for me. Still walking through the forest I hear birds chirping and a soft gust of wind blowing through. Leah was going to ask questions and I still don't think I'm ready to confess to her, but yet again. Maybe it is time. She's been happy with Paul. She isn't the same girl anymore. Gosh, that's just me trying to make myself feel better. What if she tells my parents? What if they disown me? What am I going to do?

Melissa's house was finally in eye's distance and I noticed Paul's car was parked nearby. "Great they're here." I whispered to myself.

Getting closer I saw Paul standing in front of Melissa's house by himself. He turned and noticed that I was walking closer and waved for me to hurry up.

"What's up? Where have you been?" Paul asked as I got closer.

I put my hands in my pocket. "I just needed to go for a walk and get some fresh air."

Paul chuckled. "So you walk through the forest when the beach is like a few feet away from the house?"

"I wasn't really feeling the beach." I confessed.

"Seth Clearwater!" I heard Leah call my name from inside the house. She pushed the door open and I could see the frustration on her face. "You have some explaining to do. Come inside." Leah then turned back around and disappeared into the house.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. "It's going to be ok." Paul said as he put his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry. She's not mad. She's just concerned about you. After what she found out that went on between Jacob and James this morning. She couldn't stop thinking about how you were caught in the middle of that." He squeezed my shoulder a little and pushed me lightly signaling me to come in. "Let's get inside before your sister chews our butts off." We both laughed. "She won't bite. I'll make sure of it. I promise."

As we entered the house Leah was already sitting on one of the couches. Jasper and Melissa were already sitting on the floor. I looked at Jasper and he smiled at me and mouthed out that he was there. Paul sat right next to Leah and I took the seat on the opposite couch looking right at her.

"I'm just going to get to the point." Leah confronted me. "Care to explain how you're somehow involved in what happened this morning between Jacob and James?"

I looked down and started playing with my fingers. I couldn't look at her. "Something just happened...like..like a disagreement between the two." I heard Jasper clear his throat which made me look up. He shook his head. Melissa got up and sat next to me and started rubbing my back.

Melissa leaned in and whisper, "You need to tell her before she finds out from someone else. Don't worry. You're in a safe place." I nodded and I understood what she was saying.

"Is that what really happened?" Leah's voice broke through my thoughts?

I exhaled some more. "To a degree yes. I'm going to explain, but you're going to have to let me finish talking ok?" I could feel my face getting hot and I started getting an uncomfortable feeling throughout my whole body. "That night on my birthday when James took me out to watch a meteor shower."

Leah's eyebrows furrowed. "A meteor shower? I didn't realise that there was one recently." I just looked at her and she put her hands up. "Oh sorry. Continue."

I cleared my throat some more and tried to get more comfortable on the couch. "We got to the beach because that's where he said would be the best place to watch it. I didn't really think much of it other than me wanting to go watch a meteor shower." My eyes started watering over the thought of what happened next. I felt like I was going to choke with the words that was getting stuck in my throat.

"Seth?" Leah asks. Paul touches her shoulder and shakes his head as he was telling her to just wait till I can finally get my words back together.

"...that was the was the worst night of my life." I couldn't help it no more. I just started crying uncontrollably. Every time I would try to muster to say something something in me didn't want to relive that moment. "I'm sorry! I can't do this!" I got up to my feet quickly and ran towards the door. I could hear everyone trying to call me to stop, but my legs weren't giving in to their demands. I opened the door and I realized that it was starting to rain, but that didn't matter. I wanted to run away. Far away.

As I got closer to the woods I could here Leah screaming and crying out for me. I couldn't look back because if I did, all that would accomplish is hurting her and I couldn't do that. I didn't have the strength and most of all courage. Then all sudden I heard Jasper yelling out and I can hear him running after me.

"Stop following me!" I yelled out hopefully he heard me. I heard him reply back no, but I just kept on moving. I was about to turn another corner when I heard a loud thump coming from behind me. I turned around and I saw that Jasper had fell into mud and he was trying to get back up. I let out a groan. Why was he hurting himself over me? I didn't deserve him. I took this opportunity to keep running so he wouldn't be on my tail.

I don't know how long I've been running or where I was even at. All I know was that it was dark and it's raining harder. My cell phone battery has already died on me, so hope for contact from everyone else was long gone. My legs was getting weaker and I wanted to find a place to rest for the night. Everywhere I turned all I saw was trees and more trees. Literally running away was such a stupid idea. I started to hear wolves howling at a distance. I've been walking for about 30 more minutes till I found a cave that I could probably shelter myself for the night. Once I got in it was pitch black. I put my hands on the walls trying to guide myself slowly through this dark tunnel. Hoping that this would give me sanctuary for the night. It was a very cold night and I was definitely freezing. While I was trying to continue to walk through this dark path I tried on something on the ground and lost my balance. It happened so fast. I screamed out of fear then silence as I hit my head on one of the rocks.


End file.
